Brand New Day
by lori51
Summary: Jack has just begun learning to live for himself when a case takes him to Texas, where he meets a woman who changes his life, mostly for the better. Can Jack Malone do "happy?" Set post-series. Just a little bit AU. Jack/OC. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This has been sitting on my hard drive since the show ended, before I even knew what fanfic was. Don't know where it came from, but probably stems from my frustration with the way things were ended between Jack and Sam, my anger with Sam for making such a stupid decision, and my wish for Jack to be happy for once in his life. I have since forgiven Sam, since she was as much a victim of poor writing as we were, and I feel a J/S or two coming on, maybe soon. In the meantime, I felt the need to free them from my hard drive, even as I realize that my mom will probably be the only one who reads this. I am okay with that. :)

Author: Lori51

Rating: T

Disclaimers: Jack and Sam and the rest of the WAT characters are not mine. Kate and her family I will claim.

Category: Without a Trace, Jack/OC

Drama/Romance

Summary: Jack has just begun learning to live for himself when a case takes him to Texas, where he meets a woman who changes his life, mostly for the better. Can Jack Malone do "happy?" Set post-series. Just a little bit AU. Jack Malone/OC

Prologue

It was still early when Jack Malone let himself into his apartment, winded from his run and feeling better than he had in a long time. The sun was starting to rise, and he opened the curtains to let it in as he ground his coffee beans and dumped them in, added water, and hit the on button. He looked around his place on his way to the shower. Not too bad. For a man whose life had been ended several times, he was finally starting to come alive again. His place didn't look like a bar after closing time anymore, which was good. He didn't smell like a brewery at six in the morning, and he actually welcomed the sun instead of dreading it like the vampire he used to be. He still worked a lot of late nights, but he'd learned to catch up on his sleep and on his life. With the free time he'd discovered in the post-Samantha days, he'd kept up with his workouts, even increased them and added his morning run. He was up to three miles and he had to admit, he no longer prayed for death upon his return. Not bad for a couple months shy of fifty.

After his shower, he dressed, drank his coffee and actually ate breakfast—a new habit that he was warming to. By the time he was driving to work, he felt awake and alive. It was a brand new day.

As the day began and people flooded the streets, no one noticed the little boy curled into the rotted boards of a dirty back alley. He was so thin his cheekbones protruded, his eyes seemed to bug out of his head, and his ribs were clearly visible even through his ratty T-shirt. Those eyes were glassy and wild, and his light brown hair was just as wild, matted with blood. He mumbled unintelligible words to himself over and over, his arms clasped tightly around his waist, rocking almost infinitesimally in the tiny space.

Hours passed, and it was just past the breakfast rush when old Mr. Mares, taking a smoke break in the alley, noticed him there, and called the police.

Chapter One

It was strange being the first one to work. For so many months, he had been phoning it in, coming in late and hung over, avoiding his friends and generally making an ass out of himself. Since Hanna had decided to move back in with her mother and have very little contact with him, he felt cut off from humanity once again. He had genuinely begun to enjoy the domestic existence he had found himself in, only to find himself once again alone. It had hit him hard, and had taken him awhile to find his footing again.

It felt good to be here so early now, absorbing the details of the new case they'd gotten, calling his team in, and not flinching when he saw Samantha Spade breeze through the door. They'd been friends and partners before making the mistake of mucking it up with sex—love—whatever—_again_—and it seemed that things were finally back to the way they ought to be. They still read each other's thoughts and finished each other's sentences, and he'd accepted that they probably always would.

"Hey," she said with a bright smile as she crossed to her desk, putting away her trendy purse and tucking her gun into her desk drawer. "Morning," he said, ignoring the subtle scent that had swept across the room when she had. She looked up. "What've we got?"

Martin, Danny, Vivian and Jack were already seated at the long table, examining the information they had so far. "Tommy Gomez, age six. Reported missing by a neighbor who witnessed a midnight move, without the kid. PD searched the apartment, found blood, and called it in. We're working on locating the family now."

Barely an hour passed before the facts began to lay out a picture. Jack handed out assignments with the finesse of a field general. "And I'm going to San Antonio." He looked up at Samantha. "You're with me." He looked at his watch. "Our flight leaves in half an hour."

Narrowing her eyes on his broad back as he disappeared into his office, Sam didn't have time to argue with him, but swore that she'd make the time during the trip.

Kate Janoreski was in the middle of an explanation of the water cycle for the benefit of her class of twenty-three Kindergarten students when she was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come on in," she called, accompanying it with a hand motion as she saw a man in a dark suit hovering in front of her door with its thin window pane. The door opened to reveal a man and a woman, both very austere and official looking in matching dark suits. Police, she thought instantly, the mother in her alarmed right away.

She held up one finger in the universal gesture for "one minute," then turned back to her kids. She picked up a dry erase marker and handed it to Sandy. "Draw the water cycle on the white board, and call volunteers to help you write the words. I'll be right back."

She mustered a smile as she stood and crossed the room toward them, her insides jumping at the thought that something had happened to one of her boys.

"Good morning," she said. "Is it one of my boys?"

The woman spoke first. "No, ma'am. My name is Special Agent Samantha Spade, and this is Special Agent Jack Malone, FBI. We're investigating a former student of yours who's gone missing."

Kate let out the breath she'd only realized she'd been holding. She was able to focus on the agents then. Agent Spade was probably one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen, tall and femininely muscular with flowing blonde hair and deep green eyes. She had a fantastic body, Kate thought enviously, and was probably about ten years younger than Kate was herself. Agent Spade smiled and put out her hand, and Kate shook it warmly, before turning to the man. She shook his hand automatically, registering the warmth of it, while her eyes were held firmly in his. They were a warm dark brown, the color of rich black coffee, and their magnetism rendered her incapable of speech. His mouth crooked up at one side, and his smile transformed his hard features. He had a strong square jaw, a long straight nose, and dark hair shot with silver that was combed back off of his forehead, worn just a little too long. He had a few years on her, sure, but who the hell cared? She realized she was staring, and she still held his hand in hers, and dropped it abruptly. If he'd said anything, she hadn't gotten it. He reached into his pocket for his badge, and she watched his long fingers dip into his jacket pocket and emerge again, as if in a trance. He showed her his badge, then smiled at her again.

"We're here from New York, Mrs. J. Mrs. J., right?" She nodded. "Most everyone calls me Mrs. J. You can call me Kate, if you'd like." _Please_.

He smiled again, and she was sure she imagined the flash of heat in his eyes. "Kate. We're investigating the disappearance of a student you had in your class last year, Thomas Gomez." Her eyes closed momentarily, and when they opened again, they were immeasurably sad.

It shook Malone, and surprised him that it did. He'd been doing this a long time. Not much shook him these days, not that that was necessarily a good thing.

"I've been waiting for this," Kate said with a sad smile. "Well, not this exactly, but Tommy was one of the ones I pray for every day. The signs were all there. I tried to get them to say something, _anything_, that I could report to CPS, but I never could get them to say a thing. They coach them, you know, tell them not to tell anyone." She shook her head. "Those poor little boys were terrified of those women; anyone could see that. I hated like hell to send them home every day, but I didn't have a choice." She cocked her head in confusion. "They were going to school here. Why is this your case?"

"Tommy went missing from New York. Landlord called it in. We found blood, and tracked his guardian here. Then lost her. Went to the last school of record; they haven't seen him. A speech therapist told us to talk to you." He stared at her, about the same time she got a funny look on her face. "What" he asked just as the word "Where" popped out of her mouth. Jack stopped. "Sorry. Go ahead."

"Where's Ricky?" she asked, and he noticed that her face had gone pale.

Now Agent Malone cocked his head. "Who's Ricky?"

Kate became visibly agitated. "You have to find Ricky. If Tommy isn't around to protect Ricky…" she put a hand over her mouth and stopped suddenly, tears in her eyes. "Oh my God, those poor boys."

Jack shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs. He turned to Sam. "Watch these kids a minute, will you? I'm going to take her someplace quiet so I can figure out what she's talking about."

Samantha had a look of sheer panic on her face for a moment that Jack rather enjoyed. Kate pointed to a row of books on a shelf. "Just read them a story. You'll be fine."

She led him to an empty room across the hall, and sat down heavily in a plastic blue chair. Jack sat down across from her, his eyes on her face.

"Tommy and Ricky are cousins. Tommy's mother abandoned him, so the grandmother took custody, wasn't real happy about it, and made sure he knew it. Poor kid had issues on top of issues. She made him think he was stupid, and a burden." Her eyes flashed with fury, and Jack registered that they were a bright blue-green. Before his eyes, she softened. "He was a great kid. So sweet and so earnest. He'd walk over coals to please you, blossom like a flower for just one word of praise. He was older than Ricky by just over a year. He watched over Ricky, protected him, took care of him. They were raised together. Ricky's mom still lived with her mother." She shook her head again, vehemently this time. "God, those two women were a piece of work. A couple of abusers, working on keeping the cycle intact. I was more worried about Ricky than Tommy. Tommy was a survivor, would take anything and just smile through it. Ricky though, he was so fragile. He cried, threw fits, ran away from me. He'd snap and find a place to hide. He spent most of the days for the first six months of school underneath his table, terrified and shaking. He'd been in another class, and cried so much for Tommy that my boss finally just moved him into my class. He still cried." She closed her eyes and scrubbed her hand over her face wearily in a gesture that Jack recognized. "I've been watching the news since they went to that other school, waiting to hear something like this, and praying I wouldn't."

Jack didn't know what to say to this woman. Her love for these kids was plain. He opted for the truth. "This is the first we've heard of Ricky. He wasn't in school in New York with Tommy, and the landlord just told us about the one boy." He took out the school photo and set it on the table in front of Kate. She nodded. "That's Tommy." When she lifted her eyes back to his, they were filled with dread. "If Ricky wasn't there, they've done something to him. I always suspected his mother of abuse. She was so cold to him, and so mean sometimes. I could see him quake with fear. She fed us some cock-and-bull story about his biological father abusing him, but I never believed it. He wasn't skittish around men at all; warmed to them quickly. But women—he was definitely skittish around women. I really had to work to earn his trust. And any sudden move I made absolutely destroyed him. I would make a gesture without thinking, and he'd freak. It would take me an hour to coax him out from under the table. Did you check the grandma's house? Was anyone there?"

"We haven't gotten that far. We don't have that address."

Kate Janoreski jumped to her feet, her eyes alight. "Let me see what I can do about that. Come with me." She took off down the hall, and Jack followed, mesmerized by her passion and by her. She was a few inches shorter than he, lithe and curvy but definitely not skinny, and he liked it on her. A lot. She wore a filmy blue flowered skirt that swirled around her knees as she walked, and he thought she may have a blue blouse on under a bright blue smock made of a pattern of smiling clouds. Ever so often, as she shifted, he would catch a flash of skin, and wondering what she had on under that smock was definitely distracting him from the places his mind should be going right now. She had on chunky-heeled sandals with leather straps that wound around slender ankles, and she ate up the tiled floor with long strides that made him have to work to catch up with her even as he admired those long legs. She had great legs.

She reached a door, opened it, and held it open for him. She stopped at an open door, hesitated, then looked at him with apology in her eyes. "Let me just check with my boss and make sure it's all right."

It was on the tip of his tongue to say he'd be right back with a warrant, but stopped himself. She wanted to find this boy—boys—more than he did; she was just doing her job. He admired that about her. She was passionate about her kids, but still mindful of their privacy. That was a good thing. She came out of the office a second later, flashing him a smile that nearly brought him to his knees right there in the office of her elementary school. "She said to give you whatever you need."

Jack almost groaned out loud. _If only._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Two

Jack followed Kate to the secretary's desk, where she smiled at the secretary, then grabbed a key off the desk and walked over to a locked door. As she worked the key in the lock, she looked over her shoulder at him. "There's a lot of times that other things take priority over filing. Those boys never showed up on for first grade, and they were never withdrawn. Therefore, their records stayed in here for awhile. They were in here the last time I checked the PRCs, as a matter of fact. I'm hoping they're still in here, with the dead files. We get kids that leave and come back all the time, so the dead files stay in here awhile until we're sure we don't need them anymore." She unlocked the door, pushed it open an inch, then locked it back again. "Give these back to Deidre, would you? She'll kill me if I lock her keys in here."

Jack did as he was asked, and when he came back to the door, Kate motioned him inside, then reached past him to close the door behind him. "Sorry. There's not much space in here. You have to close the door to get to the file cabinets." The room was about 6'x12', filled with file cabinets along the left wall and floor-to-ceiling shelves bursting with supplies on the right. He felt as if the oxygen was suddenly sucked from the room; all he could see was her, right there in front of him, and the walls seemed to close in on them. She opened a drawer and slid it out right below his head, flipped to the back, then shut the drawer. Next came the drawer in front of his chest, again with no luck. She moved to the next drawer, hesitated, then patted his hip. "Excuse me." He had barely moved when the drawer slid open. He moved behind her—working hard to keep from brushing her backside in the small space—and slid to the other side, barely able to breathe, afraid his heart may finally be failing him, still feeling that too-light, too-quickly-gone touch on his hip.

As she leafed through files, she caught her bottom lip in her teeth. He watched her, kicking himself for it but unable to look away. She was almost his age, had to be, but she was full of fire and life, and he was mesmerized. Her hair was short, dark and wild, framing a delicate and infinitely expressive face. She pulled out a stack of folders and handed him half. "Here. Go through these."

He looked through his stack and finally pulled out Thomas's file, just as she turned to him triumphantly with a file in her hand. "Yes!" She took the rest of the dead files back from him, put them back in the drawer, and slid it shut. She handed Ricky's file to him. "These will have their socials, along with addresses, relatives and photographs of their guardians."

Jack smiled at her. "Nice job."

Kate merely shrugged.

They left the office and went back down the hall toward her classroom. Kate sighed. "On Wednesday of the last week of school last year, Ricky threatened to kill himself. I sent him to the school counselor, because he was just too serious about it. Poor Tommy was beside himself, hysterical. He knew his cousin was serious."

Jack looked at her. "They were five years old." He lived with it every day, but it never got easier, and he could tell by looking at this woman that she lived in the same hell he did. Both of them had jobs where they helped people, but they had to live with the fact that you couldn't save them all. No one could.

She made a face. "In years they were five. In pain and fear, they were about a hundred and fifty." She smiled at him again. "You know, most people I know don't get it. They can't understand why I do this, why I give these kids my cell number, why I go pick them up in the middle of the night when they get themselves into trouble. My ex left me because he said I wouldn't put him first. Because I wouldn't leave at three o'clock and put these kids out of my head. He couldn't understand that I just couldn't do it. These kids…they take hold of your heart, and they don't let go. I would be at home making dinner for my kids, and all I could think about was which ones would get to eat tonight. Where were they? What were they going through? It eats at me constantly. He got so tired of hearing about it that he just up and left one day, served me with divorce papers the next day. Even then, I couldn't leave my kids. They need someone, and I'm here."

Everything she was saying sounded like the story of him and his ex-wife. He was driven; he was obsessed. And he couldn't deny it, either. He _was_ driven and obsessed. He'd always felt that if he took a day off, someone might die and it would be his fault because he hadn't been there to find them. Sometime in the last few sentences they had stopped walking, and now they stood in the middle of the hall in front of her classroom, just staring at each other. Finally, Kate seemed to collect her wits.

"Anyway, the counselor talked to Ricky and he had it all planned out, how he was going to do it. She had no choice but to send him home; he was a threat to himself and the other students. The mother and grandmother were pissed. They took both the boys out of school, never brought them back. They missed our graduation, our party, everything. When August rolled around again, they didn't return. I found out they'd taken them to a charter school. They never bothered to come back to withdraw them, get their last report cards, nothing."

Jack kept looking at her. "We'll find them."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Agent Malone."

"Jack."

"Jack. I live with reality every day. Just give it to me straight. I can take it."

He nodded. "I will. Thanks for this," he lifted the files in his hand. "I wouldn't have known to look for them."

"Do you want to take a picture of them?"

"Do you have one?"

"Sure. I keep a photo album for every year." She opened the door, reached inside to a shelf just inside the door, and came back with a homemade scrapbook. Leafing through, she selected several pictures of both boys, most of them taken together. It was clear they were inseparable, and Jack's heart sank. If everything Kate said was true, Tommy's blood in that apartment was bad news for Ricky as well.

"Thank you. You've been a big help. I'll let you know what we find."

"I would appreciate that," she said, just looking at him.

Jack looked back at her. There was just something about her…he didn't want to leave her. He was probably insane, but…what the hell. "Have dinner with me tonight." He heard his own voice and could have kicked himself. He could really be an idiot. He could have at least _asked_ her. Instead, he probably sounded like he was issuing an order.

But she wasn't slamming the door in his face. "I'd like that. I'd have to make sure my teenager will be around to watch the younger ones first, though. I'm not sure what time he'll be home. Can I call you when I know?"

"Sure. Here's my number." He rattled it off and Kate entered it quickly into her own phone, saved it, then looked back up at him with a smile that wasn't remotely shy. It turned him on beyond belief. "I'll call you."

He was still smiling when she opened the door to spell a very relieved Samantha Spade, and as the two of them walked down the hall, something made him stop and turn around. Kate Janoreski was watching them go with a small smile on her face. He held up one finger for Sam to wait a second, then turned back to Kate.

"Uh…you wouldn't happen to like soccer by any chance, would you?"

Her face lit up. That was the only way to describe it. "I adore soccer. In my house, soccer is life. The rest is just details." She looked at him strangely. "Why?"

He shook his head. "Just curious. Call me, okay?"

She looked at him like he was nuts, and grinned at him anyway. "Count on it."

He was grinning like an idiot as he left the building.

Kate watched them go. She had questions about those two; she wondered why he had asked her to dinner. Either they were lovers or had been at one time; their body language was too intimate to be just partners. Was he just trying to make Agent Spade jealous, or had he been as affected as she was?

_What a man_, she thought to herself. It was lucky they hadn't set the file room on file, what with all those sparks flying around in there. He had an easy, confident, alpha-male walk, and a very nice view from the rear. She shook her head to herself as she walked back into her classroom. Bad news from an intriguing messenger. Such was life.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Three

Jack slid into the passenger seat of the rental car.

Sam started the engine, checked her mirrors, then shot him a look. "Are you planning on doing any work this trip?"

Jack just smiled and handed her the address. "Let's go. It's about four blocks from here." He called the office and got Danny on the phone. "I need whatever you can find on these two women." He rattled off the names. "And our missing kid might've just turned into two missing kids. I'll let you know when I know more. Start working on Ricky Gomez, and I'll get back to you."

"What other kid?" Sam asked, suddenly alert.

"Apparently, Tommy was raised with his cousin, Ricky. Looked out for him. Kate—Mrs. J.—thinks that if Tommy was killed, Ricky's probably dead as well, or in a lot of trouble."

They reached the house way too fast. Jack shook his head. "Shit." He had to get his head off Mrs. J. and get it into the game. He dialed Kate's number. She answered on the first ring. "Kate, it's Jack. I forgot to ask you—what can you tell me about the grandma and her daughter?"

On the other end of the line, Kate Janoreski closed her eyes, blocked out Jack Malone and pulled up the two women who had vexed her constantly during all of the previous year. She opened her eyes. "They're vain, and convinced of their superiority. They think we can't see through their little tricks. The boys smelled so strongly of smoke that nothing could cover it—it was in their skin, their hair, just as strong at the end of the day as when they arrived in the morning—but that didn't stop the ladies from dousing the kids in strong cologne every morning, like they thought it would mask the odor. They think we're stupid, and beneath them. They have a strong dislike of women. They mentally and emotionally abused those boys, that I know of, and I suspected physical abuse, but couldn't prove it. They were smart enough not to leave marks." She stopped for a breath. "That's all I can think of." She could almost hear his smile on the other end of the line.

"That's great, Kate. Thanks." He clicked off, and she went back to work.

"Okay, let me take the lead on this one," Jack told Sam. They exited the car together, approaching the small house casually. At the door, he introduced them when Maria Gomez opened the door, cigarette in hand. She let them in grudgingly, as Jack had turned on the charm. He explained that a neighbor had reported Tommy missing and called them, to which Maria said that they had left New York suddenly and that Tommy was fine. When he asked about his blood in the apartment, she said that he had tripped and hit his head, but was fine now. He asked where his injury was treated, and she didn't know the name of the hospital. Sam asked if she could use the restroom, and Maria Gomez rolled her eyes, but finally nodded.

Jack kept his easygoing manner, while inside he wanted to strangle the lying bitch. How could she possibly think he could believe her bullshit? He smiled again. "That's such a relief. If I could just talk to Tommy for a minute, make sure he's all right, and we'll be out of your hair."

"He's in school. It's the middle of the day," she said, like she was talking to someone extremely slow.

"No problem. We can swing by his school, pay him a visit. What school does he go to?"

When she rolled her eyes and named the charter school the boys had previously attended, the one where they'd been given Mrs. J.'s name, Jack allowed his voice to harden. "We've just come from there, Mrs. Gomez. He hasn't been there in two months."

She didn't flinch, instead rolling her eyes again. "Well, I just dropped him off there. He's there."

Kate was right. This woman truly didn't know how stupid she was. Sam had returned by this time, and he felt rather than saw the change in her, but knew she was probably about to rip the woman's throat out. And that wouldn't do them much good at this point, or he'd do it himself. With pleasure. Jack kept his voice even. "Can you tell me where Tommy's cousin is? Ricky Gomez?"

The woman's eyes sharpened. "I don't know who you mean."

"You don't know your own grandson?"

"I don't have another grandson. The only kid in this house is Tommy. Tommy's fine, you're wasting your time here."

"Can I talk to your daughter, Jackie?"

"Haven't seen her in years. Have no idea where she is."

Jack nodded slowly. "In that case, you wouldn't mind if I just looked around your house a little, right?"

Her face closed up completely. "No way in hell. Now get the fuck out of my house."

"Thanks for your time, ma'am," Jack told her politely, as they rose to leave.

"Fucking idiots," he heard her mutter under her breath as she slammed the door behind them.

In the car, Jack looked at Sam. "He's dead. He's probably buried in the backyard, or under the house. We have enough for a warrant. "

"They're probably both dead, Jack. There was no sign of any kids in that house. No toys, no clothes, no toothbrush, nothing." Her "trip to the bathroom" had given her more than enough time for a cursory search of the house. Since no directions to the facilities had been offered, it would have been even easier than usual to feign getting lost in case she was caught snooping, which today she hadn't been.

"Good job. Let's get back to that charter school and get whatever they have on Ricky Gomez. Call the office and have them start working on Ricky. I'll call for the warrant."

They were no closer to getting the warrant by 5 p.m. than they were at 11 that morning. Files, notes and photographs were spread out over the table they had "borrowed" at the main SA office downtown. They were piecing together a timeline, but it was slow going. Jack was paging through Maria Gomez's phone records when his phone buzzed that he had a new text message. It was Kate Janoreski.

**Dinner tonight is fine. I'll pick you up. Let me know when and where.**

He smiled. He had had this in the back of his mind for a few hours now and decided that, _yes_, he was really going to do this. In light of this case, he had tried to talk himself out of it, but he just couldn't do it. She wasn't a suspect; there was nothing to say he couldn't take her out to dinner. Hell, there was nothing to say he couldn't take her to bed if he wanted to. He hit reply.

**Now is fine. FBI office downtown. Call me when you're here and I'll meet you outside.**

Her reply came right away. **On my way.**

When the message came in that she was outside, he turned to Sam.

"It doesn't look like that warrant is going to come in anytime soon. I'm going to have dinner. Call me if you hear anything."

She looked at him in disbelief. "You're going to dinner _now_? We've just gotten started here."

"I'm going to dinner with Mrs. J. I have to talk to her anyway; it'll kill two birds with one stone." The look in her eyes said she didn't believe a word of it. Well, _good_. "Take some time if you like. Grab a bite. Call home. Might as well take a break now, because once that warrant comes through, we won't be going anywhere for a while."

Outside, he slid into the passenger seat of Kate's little SUV. When she would have shifted into reverse to back out, he put a hand on her wrist to stop her.

"I need to tell you this first, and then we can go," he said quietly. "Maria Gomez denied everything. Said Tommy was at the charter school, that he was fine. She denied that Ricky existed at all. Said she only had the one grandson."

Kate's face went to stone. "That fucking bitch." Fury sharpened her voice. Her fist slammed into the steering wheel. "I knew it," she said, over and over.

Jack caught her hand before she could hit it again, held it between both of his. "Hey," he said, and the compassion in his voice startled her. She couldn't know that he'd punched his share of walls. "Don't break your hand until we know for sure. We're waiting for the warrant now; we're going to search that house, Kate, and if she did anything to those boys, we'll find them."

"I should have done more for them. I knew it wasn't right, but there wasn't anything I could do."

"Hey, you're not the only one whose hunches don't get listened to. But this is the only system we've got. Hunches and feelings don't count; only hard evidence."

"The system sucks."

Because it sounded like something his daughter would say, he smiled, a little. "Yeah, I know. Listen, if you still want to have dinner, I could really use a drink right now. If you don't feel up to it, I'll understand."

Kate looked up at him to see if he had changed his mind. He wore that lopsided half-smile again, both sad and appealing, as if he had no idea why she'd want to spend time with him, and didn't blame her. His eyes were weary, and she recognized it in him again. He couldn't walk away from his job any more than she could, even though it was eating away at his soul. He was older than she was, not by much, but she knew he had to have at least twenty years on the job. And that compassion she'd seen earlier—it wouldn't allow him to go home and have a life. She knew that feeling. And then he'd probably started using it as a crutch to keep him away from the personal life that he'd managed to ruin by being consumed with his work. She knew that feeling, too.

She hadn't expected to like this man, be moved by him. She'd foolishly thought they could have a simple one-nighter and she'd never see him again. Which really wasn't her style, as she'd never done it before, but, hey, life was short. Okay, that could still happen, she conceded. But there'd be nothing simple about it.

"I need a drink, too," she said, slowly pulling away the hand that had still been covered by his, checking her mirrors and shifting into reverse. "But I'm curious about something." She looked over at him briefly, as she made her way through traffic to the freeway. "Did it work?"

Jack looked at her quizzically. It was a little difficult to keep up with this woman. "Did what work?"

"Asking me out to make your partner jealous."

"I didn't…" He cut himself off when she shot him a dry look.

"I read people for a living, too. If I minded, I wouldn't be here. I was just wondering if it worked or not."

He stared at her for a long time, until she glanced at him again, with a shrug. "Why bullshit? Life is short."

"People use that word a lot in Texas."

"Yeah, and don't change the subject."

"I don't know. Probably not." He sighed deeply. "My life is a mess, Kate. It's complicated."

She smiled at him. "Isn't it always? You could tell me about it. I'm pretty good at fixing other people's lives, just not my own."

"Maybe after a couple of drinks."

"You're really going to drink while on call?"

"I'm the boss. I'm on call 24-7. If I didn't drink while on call, I'd never get to drink at all." He looked at her very seriously. "And when you hear the mess I've made of my life, you'll agree that not drinking just isn't an option for me." Kate had to look away quickly. He was just too damn cute, with that mock serious face, the dry wit, and that dark hair falling into his eyes. Even though he had to be pushing fifty, she could easily see him with the young and way-too-hot Agent Spade, or anyone else, for that matter. The guy had sex appeal in spades. And he was still looking at her. It was a good thing she had to keep her eyes on the road or she'd be in real trouble.

"Where are you taking me?" he finally asked, as they left the city behind them. It was so different from what he was used to that it may as well be another world. It was the last week of February, but everything was turning green. Trees sported new baby leaves, and flowers were starting to bloom. Back home, it was still winter.

"A little hole in the wall. You'll like it."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Four

It was a little hole in the wall, almost a shack really, with mismatched tables and chairs, a long bar and a dilapidated deck with the most amazing view of a crystal clear lake. Kate dragged him to the bar, where the enormous bald guy behind it greeted her by name. "What are you doing here on a school night?" he asked her with a grin.

"It's one of those days, Joe. I needed a drink. Better make it a wine cooler. I'm driving. This is a friend from out of town, Jack. Jack, Joe."

"Good to meet you, Jack," Joe told him. "What's your poison?"

"Scotch on the rocks," he decided quickly. He needed it.

Kate put in an order for a big plate of nachos, and they took their drinks out to the patio, where she immediately took off her jacket and kicked off her shoes, propping her feet up on the guardrail and leaning back in her chair. Jack leaned back as well, though his shoes stayed on. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the warm breeze on his face, and when he opened them he found Kate standing in front of him. "You need to relax a little," she told him. "You're wound way too tight."

"This is relaxed for me."

"Let me help you with that," she said, and then she reached up and slid his jacket over his shoulders. He didn't argue, and kept his eyes on hers. The look on her face mesmerized him. He didn't think she had any idea how unbearably appealing she looked right now; her sex appeal was bone-deep and unconscious. She untied his tie slowly, pulled it off, then unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He was hoping she'd keep on undressing him, but she stopped there. He was chagrined to realize that that slight contact had kicked up his pulse rate and made him almost unbearably hard. He fought to keep that little fact to himself.

"You're a little too good at that," he observed.

"I button buttons and tie shoes for a living."

"I'll let you know on the shoes." She grinned as she moved back to her own chair.

"You do that." Their food arrived, and Jack enjoyed the greasy nachos immensely.

"Tell me about her," Kate said casually, and he looked up at her, deciding then and there that he would.

"We've been on and off for nearly ten years now, never could get it together. During one of our 'off' times, she had a fling with a guy she picked up in a bar. Ended up with a baby. We got back together, and I thought we could finally make it work this time. Fell for the kid." He grinned lopsidedly. "Always did want a boy. Anyway, they hooked up for real, and now I don't know what to do with myself. I know I should move on, but I've loved her for so long, I don't think I know how to stop."

"Does she love the guy?" Kate asked quietly.

"Says she does."

"Is she happy?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you need to find out. If she's happy, you probably need to let her go. I know that's harder than it sounds. If she's not happy, then you should fight like hell for her. You know, even if you don't live happily ever after, that doesn't make it less than what it was, doesn't mean you wasted all that time, loving her. Maybe you can't let her go because you think it would be like saying that love never existed. It existed, and it was good, even if you can't make it last forever."

Jack looked at her. "That makes sense."

She smiled at him. "Told you. I'm way better with other people's lives than I am with my own."

"Your turn."

"Not much to tell. Keith needed someone who 'put him first,' in his words, which translated, in my mind, into someone who fed his ego. That will never be me. I have three boys to take care of, and about two hundred kids who need me. They'll always come first."

Her phone rang, and she looked down at it. "Speak of the devil."

It was one of her former students. He'd had a fight with his mom and didn't want to go home. She told him to go home, and called the mom with advice. Five minutes later, she looked up to find Jack watching her bemusedly. "That's the kind of thing Keith objected to?"

"Yep."

"Keith's an idiot."

"You won't get an argument from me there."

Dusk had fallen, and they ordered another drink, along with two steaks. Kate told him about her boys the soccer fanatics, and Jack told Kate about his two girls, touching very briefly on his ugly divorce. Kate's phone rang again, and this time is was Kevin, her eldest son, letting her know that his brother had sliced his hand open. Jack almost grinned when Kate absorbed this news with no apparent ill effects. She took another sip of her drink, and put her feet back up on the rail. Jack listened to her end of the conversation with rapt interest. "How deep is it?" "What do you mean, you don't know? Look at it and tell me!" "It's still bleeding?" "You mean you haven't stopped the bleeding yet?" "Well, hurry up and do it! You should've stopped the bleeding before you picked up the phone to call me, you knucklehead!" "Bleeding stop yet?" "Good. How many stitches does it need?" "Hang up, take a picture of it and send it to me. I'll call you back." He was grinning when she hung up the phone.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Boys."

"They keep life interesting, though, don't they? I always kept my dad from being bored."

"True. Boring my life is not." The waiter brought their steaks and Jack watched as she scooted back to the table and dug in.

"You don't want to head home and check on him?"

Kate made a face. "He's fine. With three boys, we average at least two injuries a week." Her phone buzzed, and she opened it and snorted. "Look at that, it's just a scratch!" she crowed, handing him the phone and taking a bite of her steak. He looked from the photo to her face, just as she closed her eyes in ecstasy. "Mmmmmm. You've got to try this, Jack. It's bliss." He just looked at her. She seemed to constantly take him by surprise, and he couldn't figure out why she appealed to him so much. There was nothing hidden or ulterior about her. She was all real, all true, all in-your-face. He never would have expected it, but it was probably what appealed to him. He realized that she had a tattoo on the inside of her wrist, and on impulse, he reached for it.

It was a delicate butterfly, in shimmering colors, so lifelike that he thought it might take flight at any minute. He brushed his thumb over it, and when he looked up again, she had stopped eating and sat just looking at him. Their eyes locked, and a lifetime of meaning seemed to pass between them in that instant. Her eyes were so big and so deeply green, and they were suddenly so full of want and need that he felt poleaxed. He couldn't speak for a second, and when she licked her lips, he couldn't take his eyes from her mouth. He looked back down at her wrist, still holding it gently. "That had to hurt like hell, right over the vein."

She made a face. "Had to be big and dark to cover up the one underneath." At his look, she explained. "Teenaged stupidity."

"Ahh," he said, like he understood, even though he didn't yet, but he wanted to. He wanted to know everything about her. Starting with how she tasted. Slowly, he ran his hand up her arm to the softness of the back of her neck, leaning closer, closer still. His eyes met hers, and he enjoyed the flare of desire he saw there. Something told him that it would be a full-time job keeping this woman off balance, and he found himself wanting to apply.

Her surprise was evident. "Ummm, is your partner here?"

This woman kept confusing him. "Huh? No."

"Kind of hard to make her jealous if she isn't around."

"Yeah, well, this is just for me." He closed the distance between them and kissed her, just a touch, just a taste, and she melted. She kissed him back just as softly, lifting a hand to his face, lost in this man she'd just met and not even caring. His mouth sipped at hers, tasting, savoring, and he took his time, careful not to push, not to demand, not even to arouse, not yet. She was unlike anything he had ever experienced in his life, and right now he just wanted to taste.

Kate was seriously out of her depth here. This big, gruff, tough man had her on the verge of begging with the softest of kisses. His long fingers on the back of her neck held her in place with heat but not force. When he finally drew back, his black-coffee eyes melted whatever was left of her bones into jelly. She was undone. She was head over heels in lust with the man, and about half in love with him along with it. There were no words for what she was feeling, so she handled it the way she handled most everything these days. She made a joke out of it.

"Mmmm…check please."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Jack Malone is not mine, unfortunately.

Chapter Five

They made it to her car, takeout boxes in hand, and Kate thought it was a miracle that she'd managed to keep her hands off of him for this long. She slid into the driver's seat and he slid in on his side, and then she grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. He met her halfway easily, and this time they inhaled each other. His hands framed her face as he kissed her back just as hard, just as ferociously as she was already kissing him. Their mouths melded, tongues tangling, teeth nipping desperately, all of the soft discovery of their first kiss gone. In its place was spontaneous combustion. Their breath came in staccato pants as they shifted, eager for more. Her hands moved to his broad shoulders and then down his back, dragging him closer. She was trying to figure out what the hell to do about the center console when he took hold of her shoulders and gently but forcefully set her away from him. "Kate—Katie, honey—we have to—we have to talk." His face was pained. She could see it in his eyes—talking was the last thing he wanted right now. And it was the last thing she wanted. She didn't want to think. She just wanted…more.

"We shouldn't have—no, _I_ shouldn't have—honey, I'm a real bad bet. I'm—_horrible at relationships_ doesn't even begin to describe what I am. I'm—well, I guess you could say Dr. Phil would call me emotionally crippled or emotionally bankrupt or some other such label. Probably a lot of labels. The point is, I'm not what you want. I'm trying to get my life together, and I don't want hurting you on my conscience. I've already got enough to atone for as it is."

She was looking at him thoughtfully, her hands still resting on his chest. "I wouldn't have guessed you watched Dr. Phil."

He snorted. "I don't. My daughter does, and tells me everything I'm doing wrong, according to good old Phil."

"I'd like to meet your daughter. I think I'd like her."

"Yeah, she'd like you, for sure," he said, and then shook his head. "And that's just one more thing that's never going to happen. I don't know how to make it any plainer. I've hurt everyone I've ever cared about it. I like you, Kate, I really do. I don't want to add you to that list. It's better if we—"

"I don't love you and I don't need you," she cut him off, her eyes on his. "I'm just using you for sex."

Now he knew why he liked her. She was a lot like him. Always with a joke.

She sighed, looked out the window and then back at him, skimming her gaze deliberately over his mouth, down his chest, back to his mouth, and then up to his eyes again. And that _so_ wasn't helping. "Listen, Jack, you're making way too much of this. You're going to be in town for what? Two days? Tops? And then you'll go back to New York and we'll never see each other again. I want you. You want me. It's simple. Let's keep it simple. We enjoy each other while it lasts, while you're here, and when you're gone, no harm, no foul. No expectations, no hurt feelings, no strings. Let's promise each other not to make any promises." Her hands moved on his chest, her fingers toying with the top button.

His eyes went to her mouth, and she licked her lips just to torture him. Poor guy, he was really conflicted about this. "Be sure," he said finally, in that deep, raw-sandpaper voice that totally turned her on, "because I don't want you to say I didn't warn you when I make you crazy."

She smiled at him, leaned over and put her mouth next to his ear. "As long as you make me scream." And she sucked his earlobe into her mouth.

_Game on_. Jack growled low in his throat, dragged her against his chest and buried his hands in her hair, holding her close while his tongue invaded her mouth. Kate gave as good as she got. Her tongue tangled with his, her mouth fed on his, and her teeth closed over his lower lip. She found herself back at square one, trying to figure out how to get around the center console, once again. It was so ludicrous that she finally collapsed against his chest in hysterics, that cursed box wedged between them.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed, "I'm just not young and spry enough to climb over this damn thing. I'd probably dislocate my hip."

Jack just grinned at her. "Don't look at me, honey. I know I won't make it."

"Okay, so it's either the backseat or my house. Take your pick."

He ran his eyes over her body like a caress. "I think it has to be your house, definitely. It's going to take me some time to figure out exactly what I need to do to make you scream. It's going to take some exploration, experimentation. If I can only have you while I'm here, I'm going to have to take my time, do it right." The look in his eyes promised that he was thinking about it.

Her heart jolted and her body flooded at the thought. She was so in over her head. She hadn't been lying when she'd promised him no promises, but she had the feeling she was now. It was simply too late. But he never had to know. The drive to her house took longer than it ever had before.

Warmth curled inside him that had nothing to do with lust. He smiled at her. Her declaration had freed him, and he was enjoying himself immensely. He had never felt like this before: he'd been with three woman, and all of them had become long-term relationships that he had managed to screw up with his own issues. It was different with Kate. Maybe it was because they agreed not to have a relationship. Maybe it was because their affair had an end date, but it all felt different. With her, _he_ was different.

Somehow Kate managed to drive the rest of the way home; how, she had no idea. When she pulled into her own driveway, her knees were weak. When she parked the car and turned to look at him, she had to laugh. He looked like a man facing a firing squad. All the lights in the house were on, and there were raucous sounds coming from the house, along with loud video game noises. "Don't make me go in there."

"It's the only way you're gonna get lucky tonight, buddy."

His grin returned swiftly. "When you put it that way…"

As she'd known they would, her kids treated Jack like a rock star. They peppered him with questions about the FBI and guns, and when they found out that he played soccer, they were over the moon. "Mom, he's a goalie like me!" Rusty, the youngest, crowed. They quickly settled in to play a soccer game on the Wii, with Jack getting a crash course on the mechanics of the video game system. It was a physical game, which was why she'd bought it in the first place. To play, you had to get up and move around, making actual movements like you would in an actual game. Jack took to it with relish, while Kate watched and ogled his body from the couch. Jack and Rusty were competing against Kevin and Brent, and with the four of them hustling across the floor, the heat rose quickly, along with the testosterone level. There was a lot of shouting and jeering, high-fives and back slaps and fist bumps. Jack had never regained his jacket and tie, but now he tossed off his shirt to reveal a very nicely muscled chest and back in a thin white undershirt. He also had very nice arms. Under his suit, which was probably a couple of sizes too large, she'd never realized it, and it hadn't mattered to her in the least. She'd been attracted to him from the second she'd seen him. He also had several tattoos under that buttoned-up exterior, and it made her smile. She was very much enjoying the show when she realized that she hadn't even looked at Rusty's cut. It was obviously better than fine; the kid was dancing around like he'd never been better.

And it gave her a chance to just look at the man. Study him. Not just drool over his body, though there was that. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He had an easy laugh with the kids, an easy way with them that told her a lot. They had warmed to him instantly, and that told her more. She'd always had a theory that kids were like dogs: they had a sixth sense about people. As she watched his muscles bunch and flex as he guarded his goal, as she watched the look of concentration on his face, as she watched him laugh with her boys, she felt something in her melt. Damn it, she was afraid it could be her heart. He was a very attractive man, rough-hewn and sarcastic, yet compassionate and thoughtful. She thought of those scorching kisses in the car, and closed her eyes for a moment. When was the last time anyone had made her feel like that? When had anyone _ever_ made her feel like that? When she opened her eyes again, his eyes were on hers, and it was very easy to discern the direction of his thoughts. She sent him a slow, private smile that said _later_. His smile widened, and he shot her a look of his own.

An hour had passed before she began to hustle the kids to bed. Rusty was first, and she went upstairs to read him a story while the rest of them finished up their game. She checked his cut, glad to see that it wasn't bad, and that Kevin had done an admirable job with the first aid. She tucked him in and returned downstairs to find Kevin, Brent and Jack engaged in a discussion about understanding women that frankly scared the crap out of her. She stood on the stairs until she thought they were about through, then came all the way down, telling the boys it was time for bed. "Did you invite Jack to Rusty's game tomorrow?" Brent asked with a yawn, and Kate smiled. The verdict was apparently in.

"Not yet, honey, but I will. Good night. Love you." She kissed both of her sons as they passed her on the stairs, and then walked down into Jack's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: This is an M chapter. Not too graphic, but you've been warned.

Chapter Six

He kissed her with a restrained passion, cognizant of her sons not even asleep yet upstairs, and again she appreciated his thoughtfulness. Most men wouldn't bother, and she knew it. She laid her hands on his shoulders and kissed him back, pressing her body to his from chest to toes.

He finally pulled back to smile at her. "You have great kids."

"I know. I'm blessed."

"Blessed. You're religious, aren't you?" It came out sounding more like an accusation than a question, and she smiled.

"'Fraid so. Although I will tell you, many different experiences in my life convinced me that there is a God. Until then, I was on the fence. I mean, I was raised in church and went to Sunday school and all, but I don't think I truly believed until He showed me the proof Himself."

Jack shook his head. "We'll come back to this. Another time."

And Kate was more than happy to be distracted. She slid her hands up his arms, enjoying both his heat and his nearness. "Nice ink, Agent Malone. You have more of these?"

His smile was slow and sly. "Yes."

"Let me see them."

"Anytime, honey."

Her eyes never left his. "How about now?" She took hold of his shirt and began to back her way up the stairs, as he followed her with his eyes on her mouth. In the back of his mind was the fact that he was on a case and could be called at any moment, but he pushed it back. He was having too good a time to stop now. When the call came, he'd go back to work. Until then…when was something like this going to happen to him? Never, that was when. And this woman called to him, on so many levels.

They reached the top of the stairs, and Kate led him to her room. She just couldn't wait. She was actually amazed that she'd waited this long. She closed the door behind them, and locked it. And then she didn't know who moved first. But she was kissing Jack and he was kissing her and they were wrapped around each other like two vines. "Please," she told him. "I want you. Now."

He was busy licking his way down her body, and she moaned her pleasure. She pulled his shirt over his head and threw it someplace, then bit his shoulder, letting her mouth wander. He growled deep in his chest, and then her shirt was gone, as if by magic, and she felt him working on her bra, and she knew she had to tell him before he found out on his own. As if he'd read her mind, he traced the tat she had just above her right breast. She wondered if he could see it in the darkened room, if he would make the connection to the pink ribbon and figure it out, and then she decided just to say it. "Don't freak out, okay? I've had a mastectomy." His eyes met hers in the darkness, and the compassion she saw there instead of the revulsion she'd feared sent a fresh surge of love straight through her. "I have cancer. Well, it's in remission now, but…"

He had already moved on, and her head fell back and her hold on his shoulders tightened. "Tell me what you like," came his low, deep voice, grating across her already-inflamed senses like sandpaper. "I don't want to neglect anything." He was really very talented with his tongue, was her only thought as he explored her body, until she suddenly regained a tiny bit of strength and returned to exploring his. There was no way in hell she could answer him right now. He had tied her tongue completely. She ran her hands and her mouth over his skin, circling him, studying his tattoos, touching here, tasting there, reaching for his pants and sliding the zipper down, sliding his pants down over his hips, until he thought he would explode. That was when she dragged him with her to the bed. She had in mind to do all the work, but he refused to let her. Not this time. He rolled over, bringing her beneath him, stopping with effort to ask about protection.

"The pill," she ground out, just before Jack sank deep into her body. Kate arched up into him, wrapped her legs around him, and dug her nails into his hips to urge him deeper. And bit his neck. Sucked him there. Kissed him again, hard, as he drove into her again and again, striving to bring them closer together than they already were. And then she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, because there was nothing in her world but _yes_. And he had her over the edge far too quickly. They came together, panting, struggling for air, still kissing deeply to keep the screams inside. God, she could kiss this man forever. Finally, Jack pulled back, putting his hand over her mouth with a smile in his eyes. She bit his hand, then licked it, and he groaned again. This woman undid him completely. He closed his eyes and rolled to his side, taking her with him, still holding her tight, wanting to do that forever, and never let her go. He understood, like he never had before. He never wanted to let her go. There was no way it could have been this good. It was the first time; they were strangers to each other. And it had blown his mind.

He didn't know how much time passed that they lay there, only that they finally slept, intertwined with each other. When he woke again, it was still deep night, and Kate was still wrapped around him, one leg over his, and he was hard again in an instant. He turned into her, bringing their bodies flush, and felt her wrap her leg around him. He groaned, and kissed her mouth, her neck, her breast. She moaned in her sleep, her hands moving to his shoulders, his back, his hair, and he felt the moment when she came awake, and smiled into his eyes. "That's the nicest way I've woken up in a long time," she said into his neck, kissing him there as he slid inside her and began to move, slowly, slowly, until she lost control, rolled with him until she was on top, and set her own pace. Watching her ride him was an unbelievable turn-on. She kept her eyes on his, a half-smile on her lips, as if she was enjoying herself immensely. And then he reached up and took her breast in his hand , and in his mouth, turning her rhythm wild. And then his world was comprised of molten fire as she exploded around him, taking him with her to the most perfect place he'd ever been.

It was still dark when his phone buzzed, and he couldn't believe he'd slept so long. When he answered it, it was Samantha, telling him a judge wanted to see them ASAP, about the search warrant. He dressed carefully in the darkness, kissed Kate soundly, and promised to call her as soon as he knew anything. He called a cab, brewed a pot of coffee while he waited, and took his to go in an insulated mug that said "If you can read this, thank a teacher" on the side. As he sped to the office, he looked at it, and smiled.

A very frustrated Jack stalked out of the interrogation room to where Sam was waiting, watching the whole thing. He shook his head. "I can't break her. We don't have enough to hold her." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Damn it, she knows something. I can feel it."

"Do you want me to take another crack at her?"

"No. No, cut her loose. We need to find everyone who had access to that car. Bring them in." He looked at his watch. "I'm going to tell Katie. I'll be back."

_Katie_. Sam didn't say a word. There was nothing she could say that would make this situation better. This was going to end badly, and there was nothing she could do about it.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: Jack and Sam are not mine.

Chapter 7

Kate was on her way to take the kids to lunch when she saw Jack. The look on his face told her. She called to another teacher passing by to drop off her kids at the cafeteria, and motioned him into the room as the kids filed out.

"You found Tommy."

"Not yet. Maria Gomez won't talk. We found blood in the trunk of her car, though. A lot of blood. It's Tommy's, Katie. It's too much blood. Most likely, he bled out in the trunk and…"

She closed her eyes and held up her hands to stop him. It was too much.

He cursed himself. It was easy to forget she didn't live in the same world that he did.

"I'm sorry, Kate. I wanted to tell you in person." When he would have put his arms around her, she stepped back, lifting a staying hand. "I—I need a minute." She turned and walked straight out the door at the end of the hallway. He waited for a minute, then went after her. As he opened the door, he heard her cursing. She was punching the brick wall with all of her strength, tears streaming down her face. Her knuckles had split, and blood spurted with every new punch.

"Shit!" He vaulted over the guardrail and pulled her forcibly into his arms this time, not taking no for an answer. "If you have to hit something, hit me," he told her gruffly, his tone leaving no room for discussion, finding a clean handkerchief in his pocket and wrapping it around her mangled hand as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"I can't hit you."

"Sure you can. Better than hitting the wall." As he well knew.

She looked up at him, totally wrecked. "I should have done something."

He wrapped his arms around her tighter. "You did the best you could." And it wasn't enough. He knew that, too. Too many times, the best wasn't enough. He held her while she cried; it was all he could do.

As they walked back into the building, another teacher came out of one of the rooms. Kate walked over to her, and she put her arm around Kate's shoulders. "You okay?"

She sniffed. "Yeah. But I think I broke my hand."

Jack nodded. "I'll call you." He wanted to hold her again, to kiss her, but he couldn't now. He had work to do. He walked down the hall while they watched him go.

Jeanne looked at Kate. "Who's that?"

She smiled through her tears and her ruined makeup. "The man I spent last night with. Jack Malone, FBI. Looking for my two boys."

Jeanne's eyes widened. She knew Kate well enough to know that that was extremely unusual for her. Like never-before unusual. "Good for you, girl. Very sexy. Oh, Kate. It's true, then? About the boys?"

"I don't know. They haven't found their bodies yet, but they found blood. A lot of blood. Tommy. We don't know about Ricky yet. Damn it, there's got to be a way…holy shit, that's it." She pulled out her cell phone and dialed. "Jack. I know how to get her to talk." She looked at Jeanne, who was staring at her like she'd lost her mind. "Let me talk to her." She held the phone away from her ear as he began to shout, then put it back when he'd calmed down. "Are you done? Because I can do this. I think I can get her to talk to me. Can you put a wire on me, or whatever it is you do, so you can record everything?" She listened to him, and her face softened. "I'll be careful. Besides, you'll be right outside, right?"

"If she pulls a gun and shoots you without warning, you'll be dead with me right outside." He didn't want her to do this, and made no secret of it.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel comfortable. Let me do this, Jack. I know this woman. And I owe these kids. I promised them I'd take care of them, and I've obviously done a piss-poor job of it. I need to set this right." That, at least, he could understand.

"Aren't you the one who told me not to make promises I can't keep?"

"I never said I listen to my own advice."

"I don't know if I can even make it happen."

"You're the boss, remember? Make it happen."

The van was parked just down the street. Everything was ready. Kate had bought toys she knew the boys would like and wrapped them, in the guise that she knew their birthdays were coming up and wanted to drop them off. They'd waited for school to be over, to keep up the guise of normalcy, like she was just stopping by on her way home from work. Her makeup had been fixed, her hand iced and bandaged. The wire was taped to her skin. Jack had gone over this with her a hundred times; she knew what to do. Now she was just anxious to get it started and get it over with.

She was amazed at how easy it was to get inside the house. Maria acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, and seemed touched that she'd thought to bring presents for the boys. Kate sat and sipped the iced tea that Maria brought her, making conversation about the boys, how they were doing in school and their progress with the speech therapist. Kate had asked several times when the boys would be home from school, and kept receiving vague replies. Finally, she said she had to be getting home, and stood to leave. Maria had the strangest look on her face, and Kate touched her arm. "I loved those boys, Maria," she said quietly. "I know you couldn't hurt them," she said, sincerity she didn't feel etched into her face. "Won't you tell me what happened?"

It was a gamble, and Kate had never been much of a gambler. She had no poker face, and knew it. This time, however, the stakes were too high for her to fail. She was surprised when the woman buried her face in her hands and started to sob. "It was that damned boyfriend of Jackie's. He insisted that they move to New York, and Jackie wanted Tommy and I to go with them. She was afraid of what he might do if it was just the three of them. I should have known that my being there wasn't going to stop him. He was determined to 'break' Ricky, make him mind, get him to behave at school. He was high one night, started beating on Ricky, broke Jackie's nose when she tried to stop him." She broke down, sobbing loudly, and Kate waited for her to compose herself. "I tried to get in the way, and Tommy jumped in between us. He took the blow that was meant for me." Her eyes bored into Kate's. "I can still see how hard he hit that floor, just bounced right off of it. He must've hit his head, because he didn't move after that. When we looked around, Ricky was gone. Dwayne wrapped Tommy in a blanket and put him in the trunk of my car. Jackie and I looked everywhere for Ricky. We never found him. The three of us left that night, drove nonstop back here. I haven't seen Jackie or Dwayne since. Dwayne did something with the body—I don't know what he did with it." She started to cry again. "My poor baby. I don't even know if my daughter is alive."

"You just left him there," Kate said finally. You just got in the car and drove back and left Ricky there, alone, in New York City."

"What else could I have done? He said he'd kill us!" Kate held back the words: better you than those sweet boys.

"And you never even reported him missing?"

"Dwayne wouldn't let us."

"It's too bad you probably won't be charged," Kate said finally. "In my mind, what you did was as bad as Dwayne."

"It's not!" Maria screamed. "I never hurt them! I never touched them!"

"You let it happen!" Kate shot back. "You didn't protect them!"

"I tried! I swear, I did the best I could!"

"Yeah, and fortunately for you, a judge and jury will probably believe you."

Maria laughed out loud, harshly. "I'll never go to court. They've got nothing on me."

Kate smiled coldly, showing her teeth. "They do now."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Jack and Sam are not mine.

Eight

Panic flashed across the older woman's face, and she reached into a nearby drawer, coming out with a tiny pistol. Kate almost laughed out loud. She doubted that pea shooter could pierce her thick hide.

Instead, she merely rolled her eyes. "Put it down, Mrs. Gomez. Don't be stupid. Right now they have nothing to charge you with. Shoot me, and you'll die in prison. It'll not a difficult choice."

The woman sighed and replaced the gun in the drawer. "You're such a fucking bitch."

Kate smiled again. "Damn right. Believe me, I can't wait to testify. I'll be sure to mark the date on my calendar in red ink. It's clear, Jack," she said now. "She's all yours." Within seconds, the front door opened and Jack and Sam appeared, weapons drawn, along with about ten other agents at the ready. An officer moved immediately to Maria Gomez, pulling her to her feet and handcuffing her while reading her her Miranda rights. Kate watched her with that half-smile on her face that Jack had come to recognize. He could hardly move; he'd been petrified. He watched her now, and even though he knew that she was a teacher and not in law enforcement, he could see her commitment on her face. It was no different from his. There was no fear anywhere on her face. She was simply satisfied; she'd done what she had to do to get justice for Tommy Gomez.

As Mrs. Gomez was led out the door forcibly, Kate turned to Jack. She took in his hair, which looked like birds had recently resided in it, as well as his face, which he was trying very hard to keep void of all emotion but, given the emotions that Kate Janoreski elicited in him, probably not doing too well. "Thank you," she said quietly, sincerely, her heart in her eyes.

He just looked at her. "You're welcome." He searched her face for the answers to all of the questions swirling in his mind. He couldn't remember ever feeling so much for someone in so short a time. He couldn't explain it, couldn't qualify or quantify it. He only knew that, in the instant he'd heard that she had a gun on her, he would have been more than happy to trade his life for hers. He looked at her now and was at a loss for words. His jaw worked, but nothing came out. He could only stare at her, and wonder at life, and fate, and this woman who had somehow come into his life and turned it upside down before he'd even known what was happening. Finally, he held out a hand to her, and, her eyes never leaving his, she slipped her hand in his. In that contact, he felt the deepest trust he'd ever known, and covered her hand with his, vowing to himself, in that moment, to be worthy of that trust. With her hand in his, he walked her out of there, one foot in front of the other, until they were at the van and stepping up to climb inside.

In the van, Jack had already drawn his gun and looked like he was about to charge in, when Sam intervened. "She's okay. Let her finish this." She'd had to physically hold him back. "Jack, get it together. She's got it under control." She could see that he was out of his mind. He sat back down, hard, and put his head in his hands.

Finally, he looked up at her. "Why do I have a thing for tough, stubborn women?"

She smiled at him. "You tell me."

Once they had Maria Gomez secured and in the back of a car, and were back in the van, Jack didn't stop to think of how it might look; he just didn't care. He took Kate in his arms and held her tightly. "Don't ever do that to me again," he said, while she simply stroked his hair like she would one of her boys.

"I'm okay," she told him over and over. "It's done." She didn't point out that he did the same thing just about every day and expected her to be fine with it; there would be time for that later.

Kate was seated in between Kevin and Brent on the bleachers at Rusty's game when her phone vibrated. She opened it. _Jack._

**Can I see you tonight?** the text read.

She found his number and called him. "We're at Rusty's soccer game," she told him. "Join us."

She saw him immediately when he arrived, making his way to where they sat as if by GPS. He looked big and tough, ready and able to take on the world. She thought he was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. Seeing him filled her with instant joy, so strong that it panicked her for an instant. When he saw her with the boys, his eyes lit, and she felt it deep in her chest. She knew then that letting him leave was going to be one of the hardest things she'd ever done. But she had made a promise, and she would live with it. She only hoped they had tonight together.

Jack climbed the bleachers to them slowly. He looked exhausted, but the smile on his face stirred something in her. He greeted the boys enthusiastically, and they were happy to see him. They had heard the story of their mom playing the hero today, and Jack was only happy to regale them with the tale of hearing it from within the van down the street. It was all very Hollywood action film to them, and very exciting, and Jack left out the part where he realized that Kate had a gun pointed at her and almost blew the whole thing. Finally the boys scooted over to make room for him, and he sat next to Kate, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. In the midst of the noise and commotion of the cheering crowd, he looked into her eyes, touched her face, and kissed her. Kate kissed him back, and the boys looked at each other and grinned.

"How's the hand?"

"Been better." He lifted it carefully, kissed it, and held it carefully between both of his for a long time.

Rusty had a great game, denied every goal but one, and his team was victorious. Jack took them out for pizza to celebrate, although he denied that what they ate was pizza at all, and vowed to introduce them to real pizza in his hometown, as soon as he got the chance. The boys hooted and began a heated discussion of what they wanted to see in New York, while Kate just stared at him with her mouth open, speechless. Pizza demolished, the boys ran off for the video games, and Jack got up and slid into the booth next to Kate, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't look so scared," he whispered in her ear.

"Jack, you _promised_. _We_ promised. No promises, no expectations, no broken hearts."

"What if I don't want it to be over when I leave?" She just stared at him.

"I've got to go back tomorrow, Katie. And I'm not nearly through with you yet. We can keep our promise. We can just extend the end date. It can still be a cheap, meaningless affair, just a longer one than we planned." His eyes were alight with laughter. There was nothing cheap or meaningless about it; it had taken on a life of its own, and they were powerless to stop it. They both knew it.

"Jack, let's not make this harder than it has to be."

"Tell me you don't ever want to see me again."

"You know I can't do that, but…"

"Let's just take it one day at a time. If I want to call you or see you, I will. If you don't want to hear from me, you'll let me know. If you want to talk to me or see me, you will, and if I change my mind, I'll let you know. No expectations. No lies."

"We have to be honest about it, though. If it isn't working for either of us…"

"We'll call it off, part as friends."

"I guess I can live with that," she said finally. Jack smiled at her, but he was thinking he wasn't sure that he could.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Nine

Back at the house, Jack and the boys had a rematch of Wii soccer, and Kate wanted to do laundry and get things done around the house, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the room. She liked to watch him with the boys, enjoying their easy camaraderie, as well as the way he moved. He had already asked if he could spend the night, and she'd agreed, knowing he'd be leaving at noon. She's already called in sick to work and called for a substitute. She wouldn't miss a minute of the time they had left. After she'd gotten the kids to bed, she found him outside on the front porch, lounging in one of her low-slung chairs. "It's nice here," he said when she sat down next to him. "Quiet. Peaceful. You know, I've always loved the noise of the city. The buzz, the people. But this—I could really get used to this."

"Yeah, we like it. I sit out here most evenings."

"You know, this is …this is all new to me."

She raised an eyebrow. "Hooking up with a soccer mom while you're in town for two days on a case?"

"Yeah, there's that, but I was referring more to the talking. The—you know—sharing and stuff."

"You don't talk and share and stuff?"

"I'm not really a sharing kind of guy."

She laughed at that; it was the understatement of the year. "I get that. You're doing great at it. You should try it with your girls sometime. I bet they'd love it."

"Were you this direct before you got cancer?"

"No, I was much more repressed. When a doctor says you have six months to live, you become very focused. I had too many things left to do, so many things to say to so many people, it was overwhelming. I really had to hustle to get everything done in those six months."

"How long ago was that?"

"Two years. Now, I don't waste my time with bullshit. I may not have time to come back and fix things."

"If everyone lived like that, the world would be a very different place."

"All I know is, my world is. I don't lie anymore. I don't yell at my kids anymore. I hug them and tell them I love them every chance I get. If I want to leave work early one day, or take my kids somewhere for no reason, I do, and I don't let myself feel guilty for it. If I want to have wild monkey sex with a hot FBI agent the day I've met him, I go for it. Not," she added, "that the opportunity has ever presented itself before, but, hey, it's working well for me so far."

Jack had to blink to clear the image she'd conjured in his mind. _Focus. Don't get hung up on the "wild monkey sex." _And the fact that he wanted to do it again—as soon as possible.

"And you had a—mastectomy? Did that get rid of the cancer?"

"It got rid of most of it. Chemo took care of the rest. So they say."

"Did you—do you regret it?"

She laughed. "Breasts won't do me much good six feet under. I miss it, sure, but…there was really no choice. I could've have a lumpectomy instead, which would have left me with much more of my breast, but with a greater chance that the cancer would spread throughout my body. I didn't see I had much of a choice. It hasn't much come up, except for last night."

"It shouldn't have bothered you last night. Did you think I would be that shallow as to be bothered by it?"

She shrugged. "I didn't know. I hoped not. But it wasn't going to keep me from trying."

"I'm glad."

"Look, I'm in remission now, but I don't know how long that will last. I can't make you any promises, Jack, and I don't want to add to your laundry list of emotional baggage."

He smiled. "My therapist thanks you."

She looked at him. "You're in therapy? How enlightened of you."

"Yeah, I don't have a choice. The FBI doesn't want people who carry guns for a living to be head cases."

"And yet most of them probably are, anyway."

"I should probably tell you up front that I have 'abandonment issues,' according to my therapist. My mother …" Damn, he really hated this part. Really. Hated. It. It was on the tip of his tongue just to say his mother left them and leave it at that. And the longer he let the silence stretch, he knew that if he wanted to have something serious with this woman, he had to just say it. He was no good at trust—ha, trust issues as well—and he really had no reason to trust this woman. But he had no reason to mistrust her either.

_Shit._ Did he want this or not? _Say it, damn it._ "My mother killed herself when I was a teenager. My dad was there in body but not in anything else. My ex-wife left me, sued me for full custody of our daughters, and spilled every painful little detail I'd ever told her to make it happen." He looked up at her. "You already know about Samantha. I don't know how I feel about all of this. I don't know if I could handle it—the cancer, I mean—I don't want you to see me as more than I am." He smiled lopsidedly. "In truth, I'm not really that guy. That FBI guy who runs the show and always gets his man—who always know what to say and what to do. Cool and confident and always in control? That's my alter-ego. That's not me. When I'm off the clock, I'm no good with pressure, and people counting on me. I pretty much bail out whenever someone needs me too much."

"And you want to keep on being that guy?"

"Not really, no."

She looked at him like it was the most reasonable thing in the world. "Then don't."

"It's not that easy, Katie."

She smiled at him. "You know what, Jack? It is." She looked over at him, realizing that he must have changed clothes while she was upstairs with the boys. He wore a dark gray T-shirt and gray athletic shorts. "You know, you have a surprisingly nice body for someone who owns some terribly baggy suits."

"Yeah, well, I started working out, and I haven't gotten around to buying new stuff."

"For Samantha?"

His look was sheepish. "Not really. For her son, mostly. I was pushing fifty, and I didn't want to have a heart attack before he started school. And then there was Brian. I think the guy's prettier than Sam is. It started out that way, but I've been doing it for myself for a while now. I feel so much better now, I think I might actually make it to my fiftieth birthday."

"And when is that, exactly?"

"June."

"June what?"

"Fifteenth. Why?"

"A Gemini. I should've known."

"You definitely should've."

She looked at him. "You never did tell me what happened with my boys."

He looked immediately stricken. "I'm sorry. I meant to tell you right away. Come here." He wanted her close, and pulled her onto his lap and into his arms. He tucked her head under his chin. "We found Tommy, Katie. The daughter led us to him, though we think she just helped get him there. We got the daughter and her boyfriend. They'll both do time. Grandma, too. Daughter's story matched Grandma's story almost exactly, and the boyfriend blamed both of them, and changed his story about seven times." He tightened his hold on her. "I've got my team out looking for Ricky. We have some leads. It's been four days, but if he's out there, we'll find him."

She closed her eyes and saw that traumatized little boy, screaming, eyes shut tight, hands over his ears, hiding under the table. "If he's alive, he'll be out of his mind, Jack. He'll probably be unresponsive, or hysterical, or maybe catatonic. Hey, send your agents a picture of me, have them tell him I'm a friend of theirs and I asked them to look for him. It might make a difference."

"You're a genius, sweetheart. Why didn't I think of that?"

"You would have. I just beat you to it."

He took a picture of her with his phone, hit send, then called Danny to let him know. "How are we doing with finding Ricky Gomez?"

"It's like finding a needle in a haystack, Jack. No one saw him, no one talked to him. We've sent his picture to every CPS office, hospital and shelter in the city. Hopefully, someone found him and took him to one of those places."

"Danny, this kid is very fragile. He could be in a catatonic state by now. He could have found a safe place to hide where we'll never find him, and he could be too terrified to answer when you call for him. Search small, enclosed places close to the apartment. Hidey-holes. He's small for his age. He could fit into a pretty tight space. I sent you Kate's picture. If you find him, show it to him. Tell him you're a friend of hers and she asked you to find him. Kate thinks that might help. This kid has been through five years of hell, Danny. We want to bring him in safely."

"So she's Kate now, huh? When did that happen?"

Jack just shook his head. "About five seconds after I saw her. Listen, I'll be there tomorrow. I expect him to be found by then."

"You got it, boss," Danny said cheerfully. "Give Kate my love."

He closed his phone and looked at her. "It's possible my entire team knows more about my personal life than I do."

"They care about you. Besides, they don't know anything," she told him with a smile, running her hands under his shirt and up his chest. "They only suspect."

A slow smile lit his face. "True."

"Jack."

"Mmmm?" He kissed her mouth, tasting her lips as if for the first time and lingering there.

"No more talking."

"One step ahead of you, babe." His mouth opened on hers, and she stopped thinking altogether.

They spent a pleasurable half hour there, doing nothing more than kissing and tasting, touching and taking their time generally getting to know each other. By the time they made it inside the house, all was quiet. While last night they had been frantic, tonight they took the stairs hand in hand, and Kate was amazed at how normal it felt, how right, as if they'd been doing it for years. They undressed each other slowly this time, taking time and enjoying the process. This time, Kate took the lead, and didn't let him speed things up. She took her time with him, and knew that whatever happened, whatever the future held for them, she would never forget this night.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Ten

Kate was awakened by an insistent buzzing, and realized it was Jack's phone. _Samantha Spade calling._ She answered it. "Hi, it's Kate. Let me wake him up."

Sam sighed. "Don't wake him up yet. He needs to sleep. But the plane leaves at noon. It'd be nice if he was on it."

"Does he need to come by the office?"

"No, we're all done there."

"I'll have him at the airport in time. And just so you know, I'm not trying to take him from you. If you're still in love with him, if you can have a future together, I won't stand in your way. But if you're happy now, maybe it's time to let him go. Not so that I can have him," she added hastily. "So that he can move on."

Sam didn't know what to say, so she simply hung up. But she stared at the phone for a long time, knowing that Jack's feisty little teacher was right.

Jack woke to sunlight streaming through the open windows and wondered where he was for a second, until he saw her and remembered. _Katie_. There was a little balcony right outside her bedroom, and he could see her through the open door, sitting at a little table in her pajamas, sipping coffee and looking like the most content woman in the world. He noticed she used her left hand; she'd uncovered the right one and it rested on the table, still grotesquely swollen and darkly bruised, the obscene black talons of the stitches standing in stark relief to her pale skin.

He got up and crossed the room, a glance at the clock telling him it was after nine. He couldn't ever remember sleeping this late in his life. Okay, so he had been up half the night. He walked outside to a beautiful morning. Kate looked up at him and smiled. "Good morning." She indicated a carafe on the table. "I made coffee."

He didn't even have to think about it. He just walked over, took her face in his hands, and kissed her. "Good morning. What are you doing here?"

"I took the day off. I have plenty of sick days saved up, and let's face it, I didn't get much sleep last night. Plus, I wanted more time with you."

"I can't stay long. My flight leaves at…I don't even know what time. Soon."

"Noon. I'm driving you to the airport. Sam called, wanting to make sure you'd be on that plane. I told her I'd take care of it."

"You talked to Sam?"

"Sure. Your phone rang, and I saw that it was her, and I answered it. I offered to wake you up, but she said not to, just to have you on the plane by noon." She took in the look on his face. "What? It was a secret? She didn't know where you've been for the last two nights?"

"No, it's not that, it's just…" He shook his head. "It's fine."

"You men have to make everything complicated. It's simple. Keep it simple. It didn't work out for the two of you. She's moved on, you've moved on, you go back to being just friends, and everyone's happy. She was fine with it, Jack."

"Well, that's good." He poured himself a cup of coffee and had to face the fact that he had to be the stupidest man on the planet. He was leaving in three hours, he had the house to himself with the sexiest woman he knew, they were sitting in their pajamas and he was missing so many chances here that he knew he probably didn't even deserve them. Okay, Kate was sitting in her pajamas. All he had on was a pair of boxers.

He took a sip, sighing because it was so good. He closed his eyes for a minute, and when he opened them, Kate was looking at him like he was a particularly tasty treat at the bakery counter. There was pure lust in her eyes, and he was an idiot.

"What?"

"You're so damn sexy," she practically growled, low and throaty, and he was instantly hard. "I can barely stand it. I mean, last night was pretty amazing, but to look this good straight out of bed…it's just not fair."

"No. That was my line. You're looking pretty sexy yourself first thing in the morning, Mrs. J." He leaned across the little table, taking her chin in his hand. "I especially like the pajamas." He kissed her mouth, lightly.

Kate lifted her good hand to his face, traced the dark stubble shot with silver that was somehow enormously appealing on him. "This really works for me," she told him conspiratorially, running her bottom lip over his chin, his cheek, and finally, his lips. "So does this." Her mouth moved to his chest, where she casually licked a nipple. "Oh yeah, and this, too." She bit his shoulder, and then his bicep, not hard, just enough to get his attention. "Okay, pretty much everything about you works for me."

And just like that, he was already out of patience. He stood, picked her up, and carried her back to bed, where he preceded to show her that pretty much everything about her worked for him, too.

It took them three tries to make it about of bed and into the shower. Somehow, they kept getting sidetracked. In the shower, they got sidetracked again. In the kitchen, finally fully clothed, Jack sat at the table and watched Kate as she expertly whipped up omelettes for two. "I don't thing I'll be able to walk to the plane," he told her with a laugh. "I think last night was more action than this old body's seen in about the last thirty years put together."

Kate laughed. "You and me both. Wonder what came over us?"

He smiled at her. "What would our kids say if they knew what we were up to?"

"'_Ewwwwwwwwwwww_,'" she exaggerated, and he laughed. "Yeah, I can hear them saying that."

She sat his plate in front of him, then sat her own across from him and sat down to join him. She began to eat while he sat watching her, and finally he snapped out of it and took a bite, immensely enjoying his food, like he couldn't remember doing in a while. It was like he'd been living in black and white, and Kate Janoreski had become a part of his world and suddenly everything was in living color. Bolder. Better. Alive. He had a sudden flash of them sitting like this every day over breakfast, and was surprised to realize that the thought appealed to him. Very much. He had no idea where they could go from here. He just knew that he didn't want this to end.

Kate forced herself to stay upbeat as she drove to the airport. She'd never been in this position before, and found herself uncertain. It was so easy with him. He held her hand as she drove, and stole kisses at red lights like he was hoarding them. She wouldn't have expected him to be so affectionate, but she loved it. He had admitted that this was new territory for him, too. But maybe he saw it as sort of a second chance, as she did: a chance to start again, and do it right this time.

He kissed her like he was going off to war. Then he lifted a hand to her face, smiled into her eyes. "I'll call you."

"No promises, remember? You promised."

"Yeah, well, if I feel like calling you, I'll call you. If I don't, I won't."

She nodded, relieved that he remembered the conversation. _He'd better. _

Then he kissed her again, resting his forehead against hers. "Right now I feel like staying forever." Then he was gone, leaving Kate with her jaw about scraping the floor, shell-shocked with the implications of his words.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The characters of WAT are not mine.

Chapter Eleven

Sam watched them from upstairs, a small smile on her face. Well, if anyone deserves to fall in love after two days, she thought, it's him. He's been unlucky in love his entire life. And apparently the teacher was in love with him, too. She saw the last kiss, saw the shock on Kate's face as he walked away, and wondered what he'd said to her. She hoped it wasn't a marriage proposal; Texas was a pretty long commute. But then, if it was what they both wanted, who cared? She didn't feel jealous, not anymore. That was long over for them, and now, she just wanted Jack to be happy. She had realized today that she was ready to let him go. She should probably tell him that.

She was sitting in the waiting area for their flight when Jack slid into the seat next to her, boarding pass in hand. "Hey," he said, and she had to smile at the look of him. He looked softer, happier than she could remember seeing him in a long time. His smile was back. "Hey yourself, sleeping beauty. I was wondering if you'd make the flight or if I'd have to put out an APB."

He looked down at the floor, probably realizing that she knew he'd spent the night and the morning in bed with Mrs. J. "Yeah, this has been one hell of a trip." He looked around. "It's different, isn't it?"

"The airport?"

"Texas. It's so different from New York. It's like another planet."

"Yeah, I can breathe here. I think my lungs are going into withdrawal from lack of smog."

He smiled. "I wonder what it would be like to live here. The pace is so much slower here. It's kind of nice."

She looked at him strangely. "Are you all right, Jack?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Their flight was called, and they stood to get in line. He made an "after you" gesture, and she felt his hand lightly on her back as he followed her. It felt friendly now, though, protective and not possessive, and it made her smile. She hoped she would always have him as a friend. She didn't want to lose that.

In the plane, he offered her the window seat, and when she declined, he shrugged and took it himself. She knew he preferred the window; it was the least she could do. She sat there while the stewardesses went through their spiels, her heart pounding, trying to work herself up to the conversation she knew they needed to have. She didn't know where to begin. They had only been in the air a few minutes when he turned to look at her. She looked up to meet his eyes. "We need to talk," he said, and there was a smile in his eyes.

Sam smiled back. "I guess we do."

He ran his fingers through his hair, a nervous gesture she was used to. "Um, I guess, I need to ask you a personal question, and I don't want to offend you, but I kind of…I kind of need to know. I need to know if you're happy—with Brian. Because if you are, then I think it's time…it's time for me to accept it and be happy for you. Move on with my life. Not that—I don't know what the future holds for me, Samantha, but you deserve to be happy, and I'm thinking…I'm thinking that maybe I'd like to be happy some day, too."

"You and your Mrs. J. must have done a lot of talking."

"We did some," he admitted. "And maybe I'm ready to listen. She told me that if I truly think that you and I can be happy together, then I should fight for you and never let you go. She thinks maybe I'm holding on to us because I think that if we don't stay together forever, all those years of loving you will have been wasted, but it wasn't really a waste. I think maybe she has a point. So, I just need to know, honey, if you're happy, and if you are, then I'm ready to let go." He took a deep breath, let it out slowly. "Give you my blessing to have a great life with fucking Brian." But he smiled as he said it, and it made her laugh. As enlightened as he may be becoming, he was still Jack.

A tear slid down her face, and he brushed it away without thinking. "Shit—sorry."

She covered his hand with hers. "You don't have to be sorry. You've been my best friend for so many years now—it would kill me to lose that. I think I am happy with Brian. But you're right. You do deserve to be happy, whether it's with your Kate or someone else. I will always love you, but it's time, Jack." She blinked away another tear. "Friends?" She held out her other hand, and he sniffed at it and wrapped her in a hug.

"Always, honey, always." He pulled back and smiled at her. "Just so you know—he ever hurts you or the kid, he's dead. It's not just a figure of speech, either. _Dead_. We're talking they'll-never-_ever_-find-his-body-dead."

"I'm pretty sure he already knows that, Jack. You've managed to instill a pretty healthy fear into the guy."

"Good."

"Tell me about her, your Mrs. J. She must be a hell of a woman."

The smile slid slowly across his face. "She's a soccer mom. She curses like a sailor. She has three boys and they're the world to her. She gives her students—and former students—her cell number and they call her at all hours, whenever they're in trouble, or just need to talk. She would do anything for her students. She has several tattoos. She's a cancer survivor. Her husband left her because he thought she put her job before him. She makes me feel again. She makes me smile again."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow. She's the most direct person I've ever met. She cut through my bullshit in about three seconds. She says 'bullshit' a lot. She's…" He stopped talking and just shook his head. "She hit me like a freight train. I never knew what happened."

"She sounds very…wise."

"I guess. She says having cancer was one of the best things that could have happened to her. Made her realize what was important in life, what was true."

"I can see how that could happen."

"We all need to realize what's true. Some of us need more help than others."

"That was pretty deep. I'm getting worried about you." But she was smiling.

"I think that maybe now you can stop worrying about me. I think I can take it from here."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Twelve

Once they'd landed and caught a cab to get back to the office, Jack opened his phone and found a message from Danny. He looked at his watch, and told the driver to change their destination. He looked at Sam. "They think they've found Ricky Gomez."

When they arrived at the hospital, Danny and Martin had already been in to see the boy, with no success. Not even the picture on Danny's phone had helped; they couldn't get him to look at it. "Let me try," Jack said, pulling an envelope out of his bag. They shrugged. "Knock yourself out."

It was definitely Ricky, but he was a shell of his former self, not that he hadn't had issues to begin with. He was dehydrated and malnourished; they'd been starving him for a while. Poor kid was probably having horrific hallucinations. His eyes were sunken into their sockets, dull and listless. His bones were clearly visible through translucent skin. He was under the small table by the window, rocking himself and mumbling incoherently. The nurse said he'd been like that ever since he'd been brought in. An old man taking a smoke break had noticed him hiding in an alley and had called the police. They'd had to forcibly put him in the shower and carry him from place to place; he had yet to respond to anyone. He hadn't slept or eaten, as far as they could tell.

Jack sat down on the floor a safe distance away from Ricky. "Hi, Ricky," he said quietly, remembering what Kate had said about sudden movements. He also remembered what she'd said about trusting men. He hoped Dwayne hadn't cured the kid of that totally. "Ricky, my name is Jack. I'm a friend of Mrs. J. She sent me to find you, Ricky, she was worried about you. She sent something for you, Ricky. She sent you a letter, and a birthday present." The boy stopped making noises, and looked slowly at Jack, though he kept rocking.

"Would you like them?" Ricky stared at him with those haunted eyes, huge in his face. He continued to rock.

"Come sit over here and we'll see what Mrs. J. sent you." He opened the envelope and focused his attention on it, seemingly oblivious to Ricky. He sat still and waited. And waited. He heard the boy sidle closer, then closer, until he was sitting next to him. He put a hand on Jack's arm, reaching for the envelope. Jack's heart lurched a little for this boy. That after all he'd endured, he still had it in him to trust. Jack knew there was a lesson for him there.

He pulled out the picture first. She'd had to search for it and printed it out this morning. She'd wanted to be with him when he found Ricky, but that wasn't possible, so she'd put together a little care package for him. The picture was of Kate and Ricky in the classroom, a graduation banner behind them and a little cardboard mortarboard on his head. She had her arm around his shoulders and smiled into the camera, and Ricky had been smiling too. Happy. She'd also included the one of her with Tommy, knowing that he'd ask for it. Sure enough, he sat and stared at the picture for a long time. He touched his own face, and then Kate's. Then he looked up at Jack. "Need Tommy pitcher too." Jack nodded, unable to speak, and gave it to him. Ricky nodded, and studied the picture, touching Tommy's face. "Where Tommy?" he finally asked.

He'd gotten instructions about this, too. Kate had said he needed to be told the truth; he'd been lied to too much in his young life, and she'd promised the boys she would never lie to them. It had been the key to earning their trust. She told him she wouldn't accept him lying to Ricky, even about this. It would be better for him to know the truth, she insisted, and now he hoped she knew what she was talking about. If it were up to him, he'd lie. Instead, he looked into the boy's eyes. "He died, Ricky. He died so that you could get away. He protected you."

The little boy's lower lip came out, and his eyes swam with tears. But there were no hysterics, just a quiet acceptance that broke Jack's heart completely. Ricky nodded. "Tommy o-ways pro-tec Ricky," he said softly, touching Tommy's face in the picture again. "O-ways. Lub you, Tommy." Now Jack knew he was crying too, and he didn't even care. Ricky looked up at him again. "Where Miss J.?"

Jack cleared his throat. "She's at her house, Ricky. In Texas. In San Antonio."

Ricky nodded. "Go see her. Go see Miss J. now. Take me?"

Jack shook his head slowly. "I can't right now, Ricky. You've got to stay in the hospital for a while; you're in pretty bad shape, buddy. But we can call Mrs. J. and ask her to come see you when you're better."

The kid's eyes lit up instantly. He nodded. "Thas good idea, Jack."

"You want to hear the letter she wrote you?"

He nodded eagerly, his eyes still shining. Jack stood and held out a hand. "Come on, let's go sit down over here." The boy came with him willingly, and Jack lifted him up onto the hospital bed, sitting down next to him. Ricky put his hand on Jack's arm, seeming to want the closeness. Jack began to read.

"Dear Ricky,

I sent my friend Jack to find you because I was worried about you. He's a good guy and you can trust him, Ricky. He will help you. He won't ever hurt you. I'm sorry I can't come right now; it's too far away. But I will come see you when I get enough money. Just think of me and I will be with you in your heart. Just like Tommy will always be there in your heart, watching over you, forever and ever. You're a good boy, Ricky, and I love you. Mrs. J."

Ricky smiled, took the letter and held it over his heart, finally allowing himself to relax against the pillows. Jack handed him the wrapped present Kate had picked out before she'd gone to visit Maria Gomez. Ricky unwrapped it slowly, carefully, and when he saw the handheld video game inside, he smiled again, confounded, shaking his head. "How she know this what I want? How she o-ways know?"

Jack looked at this boy, and he was suddenly able to identify what he felt. The love this woman had given this boy long ago, when she'd thought she was getting nowhere with it, but gave it anyway, had saved this boy. How could he not be in love with this woman? He'd felt it since he'd first seen her, but pushed it away, telling himself it was too much, too soon. Now, he knew he could trust her with his heart. He knew it would be safe with her. He put his arm around the boy's bony shoulders carefully. "Would you like to call Mrs. J. and say thank you for the present?"

Ricky's eyes lit up again and he nodded enthusiastically. Jack opened his phone and dialed. She answered on the first ring. "That was fast," she said, laughter in her voice, and it made his heart squeeze a little. She was so full of laughter, of life.

"Hi, Kate," he said. "We found him."

Silence. He heard her say a prayer of thanks. "That was fast," she said again. "Wow. You guys really are a bunch of miracle workers."

He looked up at Danny, Martin and Samantha standing in the doorway, watching them with smiles on their faces. "I can't take the credit for this one. The guys here did all the work. I just got off the plane, took a cab here and showed up to take all the glory."

Danny stepped forward and took the phone. "Don't listen to him, Kate. Jack charmed your boy here right out from under the table." Jack elbowed him in the ribs and grabbed for his phone. "Listen, I've got someone here who wants to talk to you." He handed the phone to Ricky.

"Hi, Miss J.," he said happily. "Yeah, I okay now. Your friends found me. Thanks for looking for me. I was so scared, and Tommy wasn't there to pro-tec me. I scared without Tommy."

"I know you are, sweetheart, but we're going to find a nice place for you to live where you won't need anyone to protect you. Do you know what I mean, Ricky? A place where everyone's nice and no one hurts you, Ricky. A good place."

"Okay, Miss J. I don't go with mama?"

"No, baby, not anymore." The kid let out a huge sigh, and Jack felt him relax completely.

"I don't go with grandma?"

_Oh, Ricky, none of those people were good enough for you._ But she didn't say it. "Not mama, not grandma, not Dwayne." Kate knew he'd had high hopes for Dwayne as a father. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. We're going to find you a nice family, to take care of you. Ricky?" The kid had fallen asleep nestled in the crook of Jack's arm. Jack took the phone from him gently and settled him more comfortably into the bed, then eased himself away. Ricky didn't stir. "Hold on a sec, he's asleep," he whispered to Kate, then left the room. The nurses too were standing at the door, beaming at him. He handed them his card. "Call me when he wakes up, please? I'll be back then."

The older one looked confused. "Do you have questions for him?"

Jack shook his head. "No. I just want to make sure he's okay, be here…you know, if he needs anything."

He turned to his team then. "Great work. Let's get back to the office."

As they walked, he filled Kate in on what had happened.

"You see what I mean about these kids?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I do. You're right about that. Kate, it was incredible; you should have seen it. He hadn't moved from underneath that table in three days. I mentioned your name, and he was out of there. I've never seen anything like that."

"I'm sure part of it was you, Jack. You have a way with kids." Now when had she noticed that? He sure as hell didn't have a way with his own.

"Maybe, but your name was the secret password. And your letter and your gift, and those pictures—they were just what he needed."

"I'm glad."

He wanted to say more, wanted to tell her what he'd realized, but now wasn't the time. "I've got to get caught up at the office. I'll call you tonight." When he hung up, he didn't realize he had a smile on his face, though his team did, and nudged each other.

"Texas certainly seems to agree with him, doesn't it?" Danny said.

"Sure seemed happier to be there than he ever is here," agreed Martin.

"Just wait," Sam warned them. "He actually smiles now. _Laughs _even. It's kinda creepy. He's almost…_happy_." She did a mock shiver that had the guys hunched over with laughter.

Jack just shook his head in disgust and hailed a cab. He didn't think it would be chivalrous to point out in mixed company that she'd been the reason he'd been walking around like a zombie, so he didn't. Hell, let them laugh. He'd spent the best night of his life with Kate Janoreski.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Thirteen

"Hey, I've got an idea," Jack told Kate that night, from his couch. "Why don't you bring the boys and come up here for Spring Break? I can bring the girls down, take the week off, we can do all the tourist things."

She laughed. "You hate all the tourist things, remember? I hate all the tourist things here."

"I won't hate it if you're here." It was the things like that that did it. That reminded her how much she was in love with this man. She closed her eyes and saw him.

"Jack, that sounds like a lot of fun, but I don't have the money for that right now. Maybe in the summer I could swing it."

He paused for a beat. "I do. Maybe I could bring the girls and come and visit you, do all the San Antonio tourist spots."

She was silent for a moment. "That sounds fun. Do you think they'd go for it?"

"I think so. I've never taken them for any amount of time before. Hell, I can't remember when I took a vacation."

"Then you need one." _Right here_, _with me_ was unspoken, yet clearly understood.

"God, I need to see you," he said on a long sigh, and it made her laugh.

"You saw me this morning."

"I know."

"Thank you for going the extra mile with Ricky."

"I always go the extra mile. That's why I have no life."

"I know, Jack, but you deserve to have a life, too. Can't you strike a balance? I had to make myself, you know. I have to force myself to go home early every day. I still take phone calls and help out with emergencies, but I have to have my own life, too."

"I can see that," he said quietly. "It's just so hard to go home when there's somebody out there who needs me."

"There'll always be someone, Jack."

"That's the hardest thing for me. Maria used to get so mad at me; she'd make plans or cook a special dinner, and I'd end up working late. It got so she quit bothering."

"See, that's the part that's on her. You take the blame for all the problems of your marriage because of your job, but she gave up on you. That's on her. If it were me, and I wanted you home, I'd get in my car and come get you."

He was silent for a long time. "And if I were out on a case?"

"Then I would either wait or go home. But if it was just paperwork, you could pack it up and bring it with you, get it done while I helped the kids with their homework. And we would have had dinner together, and we would have gone to bed together. And if I was too late at the computer working on grades or lesson plans or something, I wouldn't expect you roll over and go to sleep mad. I would expect you to come and find me, and give me a good reason to come to bed."

"I'm sure I could manage that," came his low, gravelly voice.

"Well, there you go. It's easy to blame it on the job, because you can't change it, and it becomes the other person's fault. But it's harder to make an effort to make it work."

Again, he was silent for a long time. Finally he said, "I think, if I ever had another chance at something long-term, I think I would make more of an effort."

_Oh, God_. "Me, too." And it was officially time to change the subject.

"Have you called the girls yet?"

"No, but I thought about it. It's too late now. I'll call them tomorrow." He knew as he said it that she'd see right through him, and it made him smile. He hadn't had many people in his life willing to give it to him straight and risk his wrath. Kate wasn't afraid of him, and he loved that.

"E-mail them, or text them now, while you can. They're teenagers, right? They have phones? If you text them, they'll read it in the morning and know you were thinking of them."

"Look, Katie, I know you mean well, but I've messed up so bad with them, let them down so many times…I don't know that they'll be happy to hear from me." He and Hanna had been on better terms for a while, but now, he just didn't know.

"Who cares? Do what _you_ want to do. You said yourself that you rarely see them or talk to them. Do you really think you're qualified to assume you know what they want from you, or don't?" Good point, he thought. He didn't even know them anymore. "If you want to call them, call them. Life is short, Jack. You've got to take a risk. You think you've got all the time in the world to make things right, but why wait? Sure they could hang up on you. They could yell at you. They could ignore you altogether. But what if they don't?"

It was a long time before he spoke again, but that didn't bother Kate at all. She stretched out on her bed, listening to him breathe, content just to know he was on the other end of the line. Finally, he said, "I can't imagine how I lived for fifty years without you."

She laughed. "I can't either."

"I'll text them right now. Thank you for making me."

"I didn't make you do a damn thing. I can't change you, Jack. I can't fix you. And I wouldn't want to. Good night."

"Good night." And as he sat there, looking at the phone and the picture he'd taken of her still flashing on the screen, he realized that he hadn't told her he loved her.

They settled into easy routines as if they been together forever. They spoke on the phone for hours every night. Kate took to shooting him funny e-mails at odd times during the day that made him smile. Jack had began an unsteady correspondence with his girls, and reported on every message he received. He still went to work every day; still gave 200% to it. Somehow it was different, though, when he had something to look forward to when work was over.

He was having coffee one morning at the office with Vivian one day, and turned to her. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

She regarded him levelly. "You can ask."

He loved Vivian; she didn't take any crap from him, either. "You and Marcus have been married, what, twenty-five years now?"

She smiled. "Thirty-one years."

"Wow. Can I ask you—how long was it before you knew you loved him?"

She smiled again. "About five minutes."

"Really? It didn't take a while?"

"I just knew. Why do you ask, Jack?" As if she didn't know.

But he told her anyway. "I met someone, in Texas, and I think I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. She's…I can't even describe what she does to me. She makes me feel way too much…I'm in way over my head. I don't exactly have the best track record. I don't want to hurt her. I was thinking it was too soon to be in love, but…"

She smiled at him gently. "Sometimes you just know."

"I think I understand what you mean by that."

That night, on the phone, after deliberating for hours how to tell her, in the end, he just blurted it out.

"I broke my promise, Kate. I fell for you the first time I saw you. I was thinking I was insane, that it was too soon, until I did some research."

He heard a strangled laugh from her end. "You did…research?"

"Of course I did research. It's what I do. And I found out that it's totally possible to fall in love with someone in a moment, in two days. So I'm not totally insane."

The silence worried him, until he heard her sigh. "Well, I guess I'll have to forgive you, since I broke my promise, too." Jack closed his eyes. "I think I was in love with you the first time I looked into your eyes. Definitely by the time we got to my house."

He smiled, and realized he'd been doing that a lot more than usual lately. "I forgive you."

"So what now? Where do we go from here?"

"I guess I'll see you at spring break. I need to talk to Maria and the girls, but if they don't want to come, I'll come by myself, if I can wait that long."

He looked forward to his nightly phone calls, sometimes talking to the boys, sometimes to his girls now. He got texts and e-mails during the day that made him smile. He missed spending time with little Finn, but he got a kick out of surfing the net to find new soccer sites to send to the boys, and reading their funny e-mails and opening their game-highlight videos. Some of them even got forwarded to his girls. Ironically, he wouldn't have trusted himself with any of these kids until Sam had trusted him with Finn, and he'd seen for himself that he did okay. He'd always pretty much left the parenting to Maria, trusting her to do a better job than he ever could, and that had been his default for so long that it was a hard habit to break.

One night, he received a call from Maria.

"What's going on, Jack?" she wanted to know. "Why now?"

"Don't you think it's about time?" he asked. "It's taken me a while, but I think I'm pretty settled now. I've got a handle on most of my issues. I've been seeing a shrink for awhile now, and I think it's time I tried living again."

"Is this about your new girlfriend?" He had introduced Kate and the boys to Hanna and his Kate online.

"This is about me, Maria. Me and my girls. But Kate and I have done a lot of talking. She made me realize a lot of things, and I'll always be grateful to her for that."

"What things?"

"That I shouldn't be staying away from the girls for their sake, because I think I'm not good enough. That I should make an effort and let them make their own decision. That I can be forgiven for my mistakes. Things like that."

"Oh, Jack. I forgave you a long time ago, and I'm sure the girls did, too. I may not have said it at the time, but I share plenty of responsibility for the end of our marriage. It was easy to blame it all on you, but you have to know that wasn't the way it was." _It would have been nice for you to have told me that sooner_, he thought, but didn't say it.

"I'm just now figuring that out."

"You've always taken the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"I know. I'm trying to stop that. It gets heavy after a while."

"That's good. I'm happy for you, Jack. Of course I'm glad you're getting to know the girls again; it just seemed so sudden. I was afraid you were dying of cancer or something."

"Nothing quite so dramatic. Just turning fifty soon, realizing that life is short."

"Do you mind if I ask—this Kate—is it serious?"

He smiled. "Yeah, it's pretty serious. I'm trying to figure out how to be happy again."

"I'm glad for you," she said quietly. "You deserve it. You, of all people, deserve it."

"I was going to call you soon, anyway, to get your feelings on something. Do you have any plans for spring break?"

"No, no plans. I have to work."

"Would you mind if I took the girls on vacation for a week?"

"You? Take a vacation? Who is this?"

"I know, I know."

"Where are you taking them?"

"I'd like to take them to San Antonio, to meet Kate and the boys. We could do all the fun tourist things, see the Riverwalk, Seaworld, Six Flags, the whole nine yards."

There was a long silence. "You hate fun tourist things."

"I did. I don't think I do anymore."

"Have you talked to the girls about this?"

"Of course not. I wanted to talk to you first, see what you thought, before I mentioned it to them."

"Thank you for that. I think it would be great for all of you. Maybe Kate can talk some sense into Hanna. She's been driving me crazy lately."

"If anyone can, it'd be her. What's going on?"

"She's got a new boyfriend, and he's a real loser if you ask me. He's a dropout, already seventeen, and he hangs out around the school and all these young girls. She's been cutting school, leaving the house late at night without permission, going to parties without telling me, where there are no parents and plenty of alcohol."

"Jesus, Maria, you never even told me."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. They'd been talking so well, almost like friends. And he'd just given her the perfect opening to tell him she didn't have to tell him shit.

"I should have. I will from now on."

He thought he heard his jaw hit the floor.

"I'll talk to her. And I'll talk to the girls about the vacation. I think it would be good for all of us."

"It sounds great, Jack. I'm glad you're happy."

"Me, too."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Fourteen

Hanna Malone was struggling to keep her clothes on. She and Ray were at a party at someone's house, although right now she couldn't quite remember whose. She couldn't figure out how she had managed to get this drunk on beer, but she knew she was loaded. She could barely see straight, and Ray was trying his best to get off bra off, while his other hand tried to inch past the waistband of her jeans. She knew she didn't want that. She wasn't quite that drunk. She pushed at his hands, but that only made him try harder. His kisses had turned brutal, and finally she realized she didn't have a choice. She pushed hard against his chest, and when that didn't work, she did what her dad had taught her. She kneed the asshole in the balls as hard as she could.

And just as her dad had said, it worked like a charm. One minute Ray was pawing her like a caveman, and the next he was on the ground, writhing in pain. Hanna looked around in panic for help, but no one was around. She started to run.

Kevin was starting to get worried. Hanna wasn't answering his e-mails or IMs, and she wasn't answering her cell. He hadn't told his mom, but he and Hanna had been e-mailing each other regularly since their parents had introduced them online. He didn't think she was really interested in him, even though she came off like a flirt. He thought she didn't know to act, so she fell back on that. But he liked her anyway. She had said she was going out with her boyfriend, who sounded like a real loser to him, and it was already two a.m. in New York, and she still hadn't answered. He knew it could mean nothing. She could have been tired and gone straight to bed. Or she could have gotten wasted at that party, and something could have happened to her. He didn't have to have a cop for a parent to know what went on at those parties. Having a teacher for a mom was bad enough; she always thought in worst-case-scenarios. But he had a bad feeling something was wrong. She'd e-mailed or called him before when she'd gotten home late from a party, and it bothered him that she wasn't calling him now. He could hear his mom in her bedroom, talking to Jack on the phone, and he knew what his mom would expect him to do; he just couldn't make himself do it. Not yet.

His phone rang. _Hanna_. When he answered it, she was crying.

"Jesus, Hanna, I've been so worried. Where've you been?"

"I was at a party with Ray, and we…he…oh, God, Kevin, it was awful. He tried to…he was going to…I kicked him in the balls and got out of there."

"Where are you, Hanna?"

"What difference does it make? It's not like you can come by and pick me up."

"Call your mom."

"I can't. I'm... uh... I'm kind of in New York. Ray has some friends here."

"You're in New York. I'll call your dad. He'll come pick you up."

"No! Please don't call my dad. He'll be so pissed, and he'll probably kill Ray." _And me._

_Good,_ Kevin thought, but he was thinking now. "How about Samantha? She'd come." Hanna had talked about her once, how they had hung out a lot when Samantha was with her dad.

"Hello? She and my dad aren't together anymore. She won't come."

"I bet she will. Call her and ask her, and call me right back."

She finally agreed, and Kevin hung up and went to his mom's room. It was weird how his mom kind of seemed to glow when Jack was around, or even when she talked to him on the phone. He could see how happy his mom was, and he kind of loved Jack for that. He took a deep breath. "Mom? I need to talk to you."

She looked at him in surprise. "What's up, honey?" She told Jack, "hold on a sec."

"Mom, I talked to Hanna just now. She was at a party with her boyfriend, and he tried to…well, he tried to go further than she wanted to go, and she got out of there. She needs a ride home, and she's afraid to call her mom and dad. I told her to call Sam for a ride, but I wanted Jack to know what was going on. She said she'd call me back."

Kate looked at her son like she didn't know who he was. Since when did he talk to Hanna Malone? But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he'd told her. "Thank you, son. I'll tell him for you."

"Jack? Yeah, I have some news for you. Hanna had to fight off the boyfriend at a party, and she's scared to call you or Maria. No, She's in New York. Kevin says he told her to call Sam for a ride, and he's waiting for her to call him back." She grinned at Kevin as she held the phone away from her ear as Jack started to yell. "He needs to get that out," she explained, returning the phone to her ear. "Are you better now? Good. Why don't you hang up the phone and call Sam, and call me back later, okay? Okay. I love you, too. Bye."

She looked up at Kevin. "Yes, I love him. Do you have a problem with that?"

Kevin sat down next to her. "I just want you to be happy, Mom. If Jack makes you happy, then I say, go for it."

She put her arm around him and hugged him like he was still her little boy which, of course, in her heart, he was. "Okay, now tell me about Hanna."

The phone rang, and Brian grabbed it before it could wake up Sam or Finn. He blinked and turned to Samantha, who was already alert and reaching for the phone. "Phone's for you," he said.

Sam woke instantly, a side-effect of the job. "Spade," she rattled off. "Hanna? What's wrong?" She could hear her crying and sat up in bed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you, it's just…I don't know who to call. If I call my mom or dad, they'll kill me. I don't want to be lectured all the way home. I just…can you come and pick me up? Please?"

Sam sighed and looked over at Brian, who had not gone back to sleep but was watching her warily. She sighed. "Where are you? Okay, you're close to the bus station. Go there and wait for me. I'll be there in half an hour." She hung up and looked at Brian again. "It's Hanna, Jack's daughter. Apparently her boyfriend got too physical and she had to fight back. She's stranded and needs a ride home. Look, she and I bonded, okay? Just because Jack and I aren't together doesn't mean I don't still care for her, just like I know Jack still cares for Finn." He looked at her, and she bristled. "What, you think the feelings just go away, just because he doesn't see him anymore?"

Brian just looked at her. "So maybe he should come and see him sometime, take him to the park or something. I can understand that. I'm sure Finn would like to see him, too."

Sam didn't know what to say, so she just leaned over and kissed him. Funny how he could still surprise her. "I think that's a good idea. I'll ask him. I'll be back soon."

"Okay. Be careful," he said, even though he knew he didn't have to. She always was; it went with the territory.

In the car, she called Jack. "Hi, yeah, I'm on the way now. It doesn't matter what he thinks, Jack, Hanna needs me and that's all that matters. Actually, he was okay with it. He also said maybe sometime you should come by and see Finn, maybe take him to the park or something, and I think it's a great idea, if you want to, that is."

His voice was gruff when he answered. "I would love it. Thank you, Sam, and tell the guy thanks for me." He still had trouble saying his name, and was unapologetic about it.

"Jack, I'll call you when I find her."

"Hey, if you have a chance to beat the hell out of the little shit, or even just to scare the crap out of him, by all means, please do."

"Believe me, there's nothing I would enjoy more. I brought my badge and my gun, just in case."

Jack chuckled. "That's my girl."

She didn't bother to correct him. In some ways, it would always be true, and she knew it. "Goodbye, Jack."

"Okay, okay. Bye."

He called Maria and got worked up again, then called Kate and was calmed down again. By the time Sam called to let him know that Hanna was fine and they were on their way home, he was exhausted.

When Hanna woke the next day, it was to a strange quiet apartment that she didn't recognize. Shit, she was still at Sam's. She'd refused to go to her dad's and had crashed on Sam's couch. She'd been up all freaking night, between that stupid party and then getting lectured by her her dad's ex. That should have earned her a day off. She wondered where everyone was, kind of wishing she could see Sam's little boy before she left, and then decided, the hell with it. Pulling on her shoes and her jacket, she left the apartment abruptly, almost bumping into her father at the base of the steps. She hadn't recognized him at first.

He wasn't in his usual uniform of plain black suit and white shirt, damn it; that was why she'd practically walked over him. He had on a plain white T-shirt under his battered leather motorcycle jacket, with jeans and the oldest pair of sneakers she'd ever seen. Probably the prototypes. God, she hadn't seen that jacket in years. His eyes were on her, even though he hadn't said a word to her yet. His hair was long, brushing his jacket, and he hadn't shaved today. She could tell, because her dad had like the quickest-growing beard of anyone she'd ever met. He had to shave like three times a day. He didn't look like her dad; he looked like a cop, which was probably the whole idea. He'd probably hoped to see Ray and kick the crap out of him. Not that she would mind that, really. She wanted to walk away, but didn't dare. He'd probably handcuff her in front of everybody. So instead she walked right up to him, lifting her chin defiantly. "What do you want?" she fairly snarled.

Jack looked at the precocious goth vixen that he'd been told was in actuality his little angel all grown up. He saw the long, straight, dyed-black hair, the row of earrings in each ear, the loop in her lip, all of which she had supposedly done herself, because she sure as hell hadn't had a parent's permission. He saw the heavy black makeup and the skimpy outfit, and he didn't see the little girl she'd been, the little girl he knew she still was deep inside, crying out for love and attention and affection. Instead, he saw what he knew others would see, what he knew the sick bastards he'd put away would see, and it was a curse of his job. He knew too well what happened to little girls trying to be grown up. "We need to talk," he said without preamble. "Let's go," he said, and Hanna rolled her eyes but followed him to the car. She knew she was screwed.

In the car, Jack just looked at her. He wished Kate were here. She would know what to say, what to do. She had, in fact, given him some ideas, but he thought he'd screw this up, anyhow. _Don't yell at her, don't make it personal_, came Kate's voice, calm and soothing. She had a low voice, he thought, for a woman, sort of husky and throaty and very sexy. And he was still looking at his daughter and still drawing a blank. Finally, he sighed.

"What can we do to fix this?"

Hanna was actually impressed. He wasn't acting like nothing was wrong, and everything was perfect but her, which is what everyone usually did. Shit. Now she'd have to actually talk to him.

"I don't know," she said quietly. She didn't know where to begin. Everything had gotten so fucked up, and she couldn't go back.

"Would it help to get out of this school?" He asked it so quietly, so kindly, so much like he actually understood that Hanna felt tears sting her eyes.

"Maybe. But that's not gonna happen. Where am I gonna go?"

He shrugged. "You could live with me again for a while, try a change of scene. New group of friends, new wardrobe that doesn't advertise quite so loudly."

She rolled her eyes again, but she was listening. She narrowed her eyes as she stared at him as if he'd just grown a second head. "You don't want me to live with you. It didn't even work last time."

He shrugged again. "Why not? It's not like you'll be in the way of anything. It's just me and the cockroaches. Think about it. You could start over fresh." She started to complain and he help up both hands. "Just think about it, it's just an idea. Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you had plans for spring break."

Yeah, me and some friends are gonna stay high all week long, she almost said, and then stopped herself. She hadn't really wanted to hang out with those losers anyway. What the hell?

"Not yet. Why?"

"I'd like to take you and your sister on vacation for the week, if it's okay with you."

He got the narrowed-eye look again. "You don't want to take us on vacation. You don't even _do_ vacation."

He laughed at that. She had a point. "Well, I'm taking a week off. I want to be with you and your sister, and I want to go to San Antonio and introduce you two to Kate and her boys."

Hanna snorted. "So that's what this is about. A booty call."

Jack threw up his hands in mock exasperation, careful to keep from losing his temper. Kate would be proud; her lessons were actually sticking. Lesson #1 in Dealing with Teenagers 101 for Dummies: _Don't let her make you lose it; that's their thing. Pushing buttons: it's what they do. _"Fine, you don't want to go to SeaWorld and the Riverwalk, that's okay. I'm sure Katie and Kate and the boys and I will have a great time without you." He grinned. He couldn't believe that he had two Kates now. Just another reason to call the elder Kate 'Katie,' which made her roll her eyes, which, of course, was one of the reasons he enjoyed it so much. He'd tried it with his own Kate years ago and she had flat-out refused.

She looked at him askance again. "You hate all that kind of stuff."

"Yeah, I'm counting on the company making it worth my time." _Meaning you, you little…_

"Kevin seems okay. We chat or IM every day, pretty much. His mom's kind of weird, though."

Jack smiled at that. _If she only knew…_ "It would just be a week, Hanna. I think we'd have a good time. Think on it. You can let me know later. I still have to talk to your sister."

"Mom'll freak."

"She's fine with it. We talked about it."

"You talked to Mom? When?"

"Last night? When you pulled your disappearing act? And last week, too."

Oh. Yeah. Last night.

The look in her dad's eyes let her know that he sure as hell hadn't forgotten last night. "Listen, you can come and live with me or you can stay with your mom, but something's going to change. You let me know what it's going to be."

Hanna rolled her eyes again as Jack started the car and pulled out into traffic.

"Where are we going?"

He shrugged. "Wherever you want. I was thinking ice cream. What do you think?"

He enjoyed her shocked look immensely as he kept driving, smiling a little at the satisfaction and relief that flooded him. Kate was a genius; he was getting exactly what he wanted without yelling, slammed doors or handcuffs. And Kate was right; keeping them guessing _was_ worth it. He couldn't wait to call her and tell her how it had gone.

That night, as he lay in bed talking to her, he couldn't believe it had actually worked. "I felt almost like a real father," he said with so much wonder that she laughed.

"You are a real father," she reminded him.

"I haven't been a real father in a lot of years," he said with a sigh. "Maybe never."

"It's not too late to change that," she told him quietly.

"Yeah, I got that today. I never thought…I never thought I'd be any good at it, so I kind of stepped back and left all of that to Maria, figured I couldn't do too much damage that way. But today…today felt really good."

In San Antonio, Kate smiled, picturing him facing off with Hanna and keeping her off-balance enough to actually get her to listen. "I'm glad."


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Jack Malone and his daughters are not mine. The rest of the characters in this chapter are.

AN: Just a few M bits in this chapter. Nothing too graphic.

Chapter Fifteen

The plane couldn't touch down at San Antonio International soon enough. Jack's heart was beating so fast he thought the girls could probably hear it. He'd dressed for vacation in an old soccer jersey, long shorts and athletic shoes, and he swung their carry-ons over his shoulder as they joined the line waiting to de-plane. He knew she wouldn't be waiting at the gate because of heightened security measures since 9/11, and he missed it. He led the girls to the escalator that led to the baggage claim, and it was about halfway down that he saw her. She stood with the boys surrounding her, and while they jostled for position, peering into the crowd with excitement, she was perfectly still. She looked unbearably gorgeous in jeans and a T-shirt, and then their eyes met. He could feel her gaze on him with the warmth of a caress, and it heated him from a hundred yards away. He had never felt more loved in his life.

Kate spotted Jack at once in the crowd, and he had never looked better to her. He looked relaxed and happy, and she noticed that he hadn't shaved. His smile lit his face when he saw her, and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. The news she'd received today burned in her chest, and she ached to just blurt it out and be done with it, but she knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't take the chance that this week would be ruined. No, she told herself, she'd wait until the end of their time together. That way, if he decided he couldn't live with it, they would have still had this precious week together. Memories were just about all she could take with her.

They reached the bottom, and the girls had already spotted the boys. Suddenly he was enveloped in young voices and exclamation and chatter; all he could do was stare at her. Kate didn't move either, just stood in front of him, devouring him with her eyes. Finally Kevin rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys, let's go wait for the bags to come off the plane."

Kate shot a grateful look at her son, and then walked straight into Jack's arms. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, burying his face in her neck and inhaling the sweetness of her scent. And then she kissed him and he was kissing her back, like he hadn't seen her in a decade, at least.

Hanna looked back and saw her dad kissing Kate like the world was ending. She looked at Kevin, who was probably the hottest boy she'd met in a long time. "Do they do that a lot?"

Kevin shrugged. "Pretty much. What? I like your dad. He seems like a cool guy. My mom hasn't been happy in a lot of years, and if your dad makes her happy, I say, go for it."

They kept walking, as Kevin led them all to the area where they would wait for their suitcases to roll off the plane. "And you're okay with it?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I want my mom to be happy."

"My dad's an asshole."

Kevin looked at her. "Maybe he used to be, but he doesn't seem to be now. Maybe he's changed."

"People don't change."

"Sure they do. Everything changes, every day. It can be scary, but good too, you know? If he's changed, and you won't give him another chance, that makes you the asshole."

Hanna didn't know what to think of Kevin Janoreski. He was different from any boy she had ever met. "Hey, he's the one who left _me_."

Kevin shot her a patient look. "He didn't leave you; he left your mom. Although, from what I understand, your mother left him."

She looked at him in surprise.

"He told me it messed him up for a long time. I'm not saying your mom didn't have good reasons. But you can't have a story without two sides."

Hanna had wanted to seriously dislike Kate and her sons. But she was having a hard time with it. There was a lot more to Kevin than a handsome face, nice eyes and great muscles. To be honest, although she thought he was cute, she wasn't attracted to him. She liked him, though, a lot. She thought maybe he could be a great best friend. Or a great brother. And the other too weren't that bad. The little one was like a bouncy puppy; you just couldn't _not_ like the kid. She was withholding judgement on Kate.

Kate finally pulled back long enough to smile into his eyes. "I thought you'd never get here."

"How long until I can get you into bed?"

She smiled. "That's what I love about you; one always knows where she stands."

"Life's too short for bullshit," he said on a slow-and-sexy grin. "We could duck into one of these bathrooms, and…"

"No bathrooms," she told him firmly. "We've waited all this time. We can wait a few more hours."

"Maybe you can." But he took her hand in his, and they found their way to where her boys were yanking suitcases off the conveyor with the precision of teamsters.

"I'm starved, Mom," Rusty declared. "When's dinner?"

"Right now." She took them to Dave and Buster's, where they all ate together, and afterward she and Jack had drinks at the bar while the kids roamed the arcade tackling every video game they could find. Finally, they went in search of the kids, and joined in the games. Jack challenged the kids to shooting matches they had no chance of winning, basketball games they did, and NASCAR races where the winner was anyone's bet. Kate couldn't take her eyes off of him, whether he was tautly focused on his target at the shooting range or reacting quickly to the twists and turns of the racetrack. He brought an energy and passion to everything he did, and it mesmerized her. She tried her hand at the racetrack as well, and beat boys and girls alike at the air hockey table. She was beating Kate for the second time when Jack came up behind her, his hands sliding around her waist and his breath hot on her neck. She missed the block and lost the game, and when she spun in outrage to confront him, he merely kissed her until she was bent over the table, helpless and needy. When they came up for air, they were both laughing.

It was almost eleven when they finally headed for home. The kids were dispatched into their respective rooms, and Kate was standing under a scalding shower when she opened her eyes to see him standing in front of her, naked, his eyes hot. "I've waited for you for so long," he said, and then he kissed her. It amazed her that he felt as good as he had almost a month ago. Better. She was nowhere near tired of him, of this. She needed him badly, and made sure he knew it. She ran her hands over every inch of him, then her mouth. She ran her hands through his hair as he lathered her body with soap, washed her everywhere, rinsed her, then followed with his tongue.

He lifted her effortlessly, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She felt his heat slide inside her at the same moment her back touched the cool tiles, and the contrast made her gasp. It was like their first time, fast and hard and incredibly intense. Kate kissed him like she was drowning, and his mouth moved lazily from her breast to her throat to her mouth and back again, making her crazy as he moved inside her. Feeling her explode around him, feeling her muscles clench and squeeze, pushed him right over the edge, and as they came back to earth, breathing hard and clinging to each other, neither could imagine how they'd stayed away for so long.

They lay together, facing each other, as their breathing returned to normal and their bodies cooled. Looking at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes, Kate knew she couldn't wait until the end of the week. She had to tell him now.

"I start chemo again next week. I found out today. I'm sorry if this ruins our week together. I understand if this is a deal breaker for you." She moved to sit up, and Jack caught her arm.

"You lost me, honey. How could it ruin our week together?"

"You didn't sign on for a cancer patient, Jack, and…"

"I signed on for you. I'm not going anywhere, Katie. I wish I could be with you for the chemo, take care of you. I've done a lot of thinking in the last couple of weeks. You changed me, just by being who you are. I'm not going back. I don't care how long we have together. I love you. I'll take whatever we have."

She closed her eyes and moved into his arms. "I was going to wait until Friday to tell you," she admitted, "in case you couldn't take it."

"I'm glad you didn't." He kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her mouth. "I've spent a good percentage of my life being an asshole, and I'm telling you, I'm sick and tired of that guy. I won't let you down, Katie. I'm still learning as I go, and I realize I'm going to make some mistakes, but I don't want to hurt you. I want to be there for you, in every way I can."

She kissed him, rolling over to straddle his hips, and he lost his train of thought.

They woke early and took the kids to SeaWorld, where they saw every show and rode every ride. They ate popcorn and cotton candy and corn on the cob and turkey legs. The kids begged to go on the Steel Eel, and as much as Kate hated roller coasters, she agreed. Rusty rode in front, between Kate and Brent, Kevin and Hanna rode in the next car, and then Kate and Jack. The kids squealed with excitement as the cars clicked up, up, up, and Kate had a white-knuckled grip on the bar as she looked at Jack. "I hate these things," she said through gritted teeth.

"Then why did you come?" he asked with a grin.

"For the kids! Why do you think?"

He smiled at her and pulled her close with a hand on the back of her neck, wrapping the other securely around her as he kissed her. She kissed him back, letting go of the bar to cup his chin, with its deliciously sexy two-day beard that was already softening, and with the other hand she gripped his big shoulder. She heard the kids' delighted screams as they looped loops and rode huge arches, but though her stomach pitched, she felt totally secure wrapped in his arms. When they came to a stop, he released her. "That was fun," he said with a grin that made her blush to the roots of her hair.

They followed the crowd out the gate and down the path, stopping to see the picture waiting at the little photo booth. When it flashed onto the screen, she laughed out loud. Rusty's expression was priceless. His eyes were as big as saucers. The others kids looked exhilarated, and she and Jack were lost in a kiss. She pulled out her wallet. "I have to have one of those." Jack didn't say a word, but he noticed that she bought two copies.

They had dinner at a BBQ place in the park that was surprisingly good, and Kate and Jack sat at a little table by the lake and had drinks while the kids splashed each other in bumper boats. They sat front and center at the Shamu show and got thoroughly soaked, and afterward, when one of the ubiquitous teenaged employees roaming with cameras motioned them to stop for a shot, Jack started to automatically decline, but Kate stopped him. "I want one for my desk at school," she said. She reached up and pulled off his sunglasses. "I want to see your eyes."

The shot was taken, and she handed him his glasses back, but he was beginning to wonder why she seemed to want to chronicle every moment of the day. She'd taken plenty of pictures with her own camera, too. She'd seemed so optimistic last night that this round of chemo would be as successful as the last, and now he had to wonder if she had her own doubts. He just hoped it wasn't _him_ that she doubted. After about an hour of walking around, she started to head back to the photo kiosk to pick up her picture, and he told her he'd take care of it himself. He wanted one for him, for his own desk at work.

When he saw it, he laughed out loud. They were all soaked and looked like tourists, but Kate had leaned close to him, her hand on his shoulder, and he could clearly see the love shining in her eyes. Their kids surrounded them, looking fit and wholesome and happy, but the most surprising thing about that picture was him. He was smiling, too, all the way to his eyes, and the look on his face was one of utter peace. Contentment, even. Love, definitely. He would put it on his desk as well. He couldn't wait to see the look on his team's face when they saw it. They'd probably ask to see his ID.

At dusk, they headed back to Shamu Stadium for the fireworks show. Instead of fighting the hordes of people for a seat inside the stadium, they spread towels on the grass near the lake where it was nearly deserted, stretching out and enjoying the show. Kate found herself sprawled across Jack's chest with their kids scattered nearby, like they'd been a family forever. _Family_. It was the strangest thing; they had already begun to gel, and it was the first day of their vacation together, their sort of trial run together. Today there had been no escape, since they'd spent the entire day at the park, and they had gotten along remarkably well.

That night Jack slept in her bed again, and didn't bother to throw the blanket and pillow on the couch to camouflage it. The kids were fine with it. They felt like an old married couple, together for twenty years. Sometime in the night, Kate would reach for him and cuddle close, and Jack find himself not only not minding, but enjoying the contact. He felt connected to her as he had never been connected to anyone in his life.

The next day they slept in. Kate made a big breakfast and Jack and the boys dressed in their sweats and went outside to shoot hoops. Kate knew this was her chance to bond with the girls, but she had no idea where to begin. She knew very little about girls. Then it hit her: shopping.

She went into the room the girls were sharing. Kate hugged her with glee while Hanna just watched her warily. "You know," she began, "you girls have some really cute clothes, but I bet all the other girls have stuff like yours. What do you say we go shopping, and find some things no one else will have?"

She could tell she'd piqued their interest, and told them she'd meet them outside in half an hour. As they scrambled to get ready, she dressed and went outside. Jack called a time-out as she walked his way, his eyes on the hem of her skirt flirting with her knees as she walked." The girls and I are going shopping," she announced, stepping into his personal space.

"Better not come too close," Jack warned. "I'm sweaty."

"I know." She stepped close, so that her words were for his ears only. "You sweaty totally turns me on." She kissed him lightly and spun away, laughing, before he could grab her. The look in his eyes promised retribution as she said goodbye to the boys and led the girls to the car.

They hit thrift stores and vintage stores, with gratifying results. They found skirts, a few blouses and some cute scarves. Kate found some hats for the future when she would need them, and reveled in shopping with people who enjoyed it as much as she did. Finding bargains was one of her favorite things, and it was thrilling to find that the girls enjoyed shopping with her. They had a great time, and when it was time to take a break for lunch, they found a little bistro and sat outside to eat at a little table with an umbrella. Kate found that she truly liked Jack's daughters. They were bright and funny, even Hanna, who had left the chip on her shoulder at the first store and slowly began to relax around her.

When they returned home late in the afternoon, the boys were playing Wii, and the girls joined them. Kate found Jack dozing in the hammock in the back yard, and joined him there. When he woke to find her wrapped around him, sound asleep, he couldn't believe how lucky he'd gotten. She woke to his kisses and smiled up at him. "You're not sweaty any more. I'm so disappointed."

"I can get sweaty again."

"We can get sweaty together."

"What do you want to do for dinner?"

"I don't care what I do as long as I do it with you."

"Really…"


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Not mine

Sixteen

The next day was cool and overcast, and they went downtown, walked the Riverwalk, and ate enchiladas at little tables right on the river. The girls were enamored with San Antonio; it was so different from what they were used to. After lunch they explored the River Center Mall and saw a movie at the IMAX. The kids sat in front, 3-D glasses in place, exclaiming over the images that rose to meet them, as Kate and Jack sat in the back and held hands and kissed like teenagers.

They ate an early dinner at the Rain Forest Café, and even the older kids enjoyed the ambiance. Rusty's favorite was the giant anaconda hanging from the ceiling. Back at home, the boys organized a game of pick-up basketball with friends from down the street, and even the girls joined in, as Hanna got introductions to all of Kevin's friends. Jack sat with Kate on the porch swing. She lay back against a pile of pillows, her legs stretched out over Jack's lap, while he gave her a foot massage she was never going to forget. Her moans of pleasure were nearly enough to make him drag her into the house and into her bedroom, but he was trying desperately to restrain himself, for the kids' sakes.

He liked her house, and he liked her neighborhood. It was an older one, quirky and full of personality, and every house had an appeal of its own. He could imagine living here, stepping onto this little porch every morning, sitting out here every night with her and their kids. It shocked him; it wasn't something he'd ever wanted before, even when he was married. The peace he felt right now moved through him and seemed to settle in his bones.

He shifted positions and pulled her against his chest.

"When can I see you again?" he said into her ear, his low gravelly voice giving her goose bumps.

"Um, tomorrow?"

"I mean after this trip. When can you bring the kids to New York?"

Kate shifted to look at him. "You're serious."

"It's going to be hard to leave you. Harder than the first time." He didn't want to be away from her for an hour, much less months, and he didn't know how to tell her. He didn't know how he fit into her plans, or even if he did.

"I can be there the first week in June," she said quietly.

"I don't know if I can wait that long."

"Neither do I."

The next day was Thursday, and they awoke to pouring rain, and decided to spend the day at the mall. They did some shopping, with Kate picking suits and shirts for Jack (all on clearance, of course) and making him model them for her. They rented movies and when they got home, the kids scattered to various parts of the house with their various movies. Jack and Kate stood alone in the kitchen, and he ran his hand through his hair and looked at her. On a whim, he said, "Rusty said you cut his hair. Could you cut mine?"

She looked at him. His hair was long, but it looked good on him. He hadn't shaved all week, and his beard was soft now and utterly appealing. She smiled. "Of course."

He sat in a chair in the middle of the kitchen floor, watching Kate as she circled him, barber scissors in hand. She moved in close, trimming on one side, and then stepped back to study him, and then moving in to cut some more. It was driving him crazy. He closed his eyes and caught her scent, feeling her fleeting touch on his skin. She touched his neck, slid her hand to the back of his head while she trimmed with the other hand, the space between their bodies mere inches. He was reminded of the day he'd met her, being enclosed in that tiny little file room with her, and that same feeling of being deprived of oxygen. Her heat nearly burned him alive.

He sat there for as long as he could with his eyes shut, feeling her touch on his skin, breathing in her fresh scent and listening to her breathe and her footsteps, experiencing her with his senses, until he couldn't stand it any more and had to open his eyes and look at her. She was so close, her lower lip between her teeth in concentration and her hands still skimming his hair. Finally she looked back at him. "Why don't you see how that looks?" she asked him with a smile, but he could care less about his hair. He just wanted her hands on him again. She was standing close, almost touching his legs, and he grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her in, until she straddled his lap. The scissors fell to the floor with a clatter as she ran her hands over his chest, his shoulders, and then his hair.

Their mouths met in a firestorm of need, and their hands were all over each other, desperate for more. They had both worn sweats in deference to the cool, damp weather, and two layers of thin cotton did nothing but enhance the sensations as Jack rocked his body into hers.

Kate gasped, arching onto him as she kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, moaning as he rubbed against her, aching to feel him inside her and totally forgetting that they were in the kitchen in the middle of the day when anyone could walk in and find them.

Jack was the one to pull back and smile into her eyes. "I think it's time for us old folks to take our afternoon nap," he said, his hands on her hips.

"Oh, yes," she breathed, skimming her mouth over his one more time, then down his throat to nip his chest. "Definitely."

Much later, Kate made him get dressed. "Come on," she told him, her eyes as bright as a child's, as she led him by the hand to her garage. "I've got a surprise for you." His eyes told her no surprise could be better than that afternoon, but he was game to play along.

In the garage, she flicked on the lights, and in the corner stood a vintage Harley Davidson. Kate especially enjoyed the way his eyes lit up in awe. He walked to the bike, touching it almost reverently. "You've got to be kidding me," he breathed in the tone she had previously thought was reserved for admiring her body. His eyes met hers. "You own a '78 Sportster." He said it in the same way he might have said _you own a cruise ship_. With total incredulity.

She smiled indulgently. "'77. It was a gift. One of my students found it junked, fixed it up, and then gave it to me. I, in turn, ride it as often as I can and promote his business rabidly." She tossed him a helmet. "Come on, let's go for a ride. _I _drive."

On Friday morning, they all rose early and piled into the truck to head to the beach. Kate was pleasantly surprised at the lack of bickering on the four-hour drive to the coast, and realized that they were probably all a little subdued with the end of vacation looming. It had been a wonderful week, and she figured it had given them all a lot to think about. It was a beautiful day, overcast and breezy, and they played in the waves for most of the day, until it got really hot, and Jack took the boys fishing off Bob Hall Pier while Kate and the girls sunbathed on the beach. They ate fresh seafood and argued good-naturedly about whose food was better, and it was late when they returned to the house.

"We're sleeping in tomorrow, right?" Jack asked as he got into bed, and Kate snuggled up to him like she'd been doing it for years. "Most definitely."

In the peaceful silence, he heard her voice. "I'm not ready for you to go."

"I'm not ready to go," he told her, kissing her lightly.

On Saturday night, Kate and the boys drove Jack and the girls to the airport, and none of them were happy about it. Their goodbyes were bittersweet, and Jack felt like he was going off to war. He had a bad feeling this time, like he may never see her again, and it made him tense and grouchy. The girls commented on it on the plane, and he sighed and apologized.

"Do you really love Kate that much?" his Kate asked him, and it made him pause that it was so clear to her.

"I do, sweetie, I really do."

"Then maybe you should figure out a way to be with her all the time," she told him with a wisdom that made him smile. He should listen to his girls more often. Even Hanna was smiling at him.

The ride home from the airport was unusually quiet for Kate. She looked at the boys in the backseat. They had had a great time with Jack and the girls, and she had noticed the difference in having another adult around the house to be there for the little things that took up all her time. She didn't worry with Jack like she had with Keith, that the boys would need something and he wouldn't be able to handle it. He was very capable, and no-nonsense, and had no problem giving Rusty a hug and some TLC when he scraped himself up playing basketball, or refereeing between Kevin and Brent when they were trading insults. He didn't have a problem with cooking dinner, or straightening up a room, had no ideas of "women's work" or "men's work," only that the more he did, the more time he'd have with her. It might have taken the two of them twice the time to clean the kitchen as it would have taken her alone, but it was a hell of a lot more fun. She couldn't remember laughing as much as she had this week, and she knew she would miss him immeasurably.

Rusty, as usual, said it best. "We should be with them, Mom. Make it happen."

She looked at her boys in the rear-view mirror. "And what if that means we'd have to move to New York? New schools, new friends? Is that really something you guys would consider?"

Kevin nodded seriously, while Brent looked surprised. "You'd really leave it up to us, Mom? I mean, if you want to marry him, you will, right?"

She met Brent's eyes in the rearview. Very fine line here. "Yes, to a point, but I think moving thousands of miles would have to be a family decision. I haven't talked to Jack about it yet, but I assume he would want to stay close to Chicago because of his girls. They still live with their mom for most of the year, you know. I wouldn't want to be responsible for him never getting to see them. But that's a decision we would have to make together." She looked at him. "So no pressure, just start thinking about it, okay? Think about what you could live with."

Brent looked at Kevin. They both knew their friends' parents moved without ever asking kids' opinions. But they knew they had to take their mom's feelings into account, too. They wanted her to be happy. And they liked Jack, and the girls. They'd already talked about it; Jack was more of a father to them than their father had ever been. They could talk to him about anything, and they knew he wouldn't blow them off like a lot of guys would. In the backseat, they grinned at each other. They already knew what they'd decided. Now they just had to wait and see if Jack would ask.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Not mine

Seventeen

His first day back, Jack walked into the office feeling about seventeen years old. He smiled at people he knew as he passed them in the halls, held a door open for a stranger, and stopped to greet his team before sailing into his office. The first thing he did was open his blinds.

His team stopped to look at one another. Jack never opened his blinds. He never smiled and greeted people. But even more than that…he was unrecognizable. He'd had a hair cut and wore a moustache and full beard, neatly trimmed, totally salt-and-pepper. He wore a very nicely tailored brown suit with a light blue shirt and a nice tie, in place of all his baggy suits that were probably refugees from the '80s. He'd lost his spare tire, and replaced it with muscle, they realized in shock. He looked like a different person. In his office, he added the new pictures, already framed, and looked at them for a long before he finally smiled and attacked the paperwork that lay piled on his desk.

He looked up ten minutes later to see his team standing in the doorway staring at him. "Can I help you?"

Vivian looked at him dryly. "Who are you and what have you done with Jack Malone?"

He smiled. "I think it was about time that guy got a life. He was getting on my nerves."

They looked at each other and grinned. Sam didn't say a word, but she was beginning to think she'd made a bad choice. And it was too late now.

Kate started chemo again with very little fanfare. Jack and the kids knew, and her closest friends from work, but that was about it. After two weeks, she had to tell her class. They knew something was wrong with her, and she opted to tell them the truth, and read them a touching children's story about a teacher with cancer. Several of them cried, one parent had called the principal to complain, and she was exhausted with dealing with all of it. When she got home, all of the kids were out somewhere, and she was so exhausted and feeling so bad she collapsed on her bed and cried. On top of that, the news she'd had from her doctor today wasn't good.

The phone rang, and she looked at it through swollen eyes_. Jack_. It just made her cry harder. He always seemed to call when she needed him the most; she had no idea how he did that. But right now she just couldn't do it. She just couldn't be cheerful and optimistic and upbeat; she was feeling too bad for that. She couldn't burden him with this. She would call him later, when she was feeling better.

When the boys got home, they found her sprawled across the bed, asleep with her makeup cried off. Kevin made dinner and put Rusty to bed, then helped Brent with his homework. When Jack called, frantic because Kate wasn't answering his calls, Kevin told him she was just having a bad day and had cried herself to sleep. He said she got like this and not to worry; he'd have her call when she woke up. It made Jack sick at heart, but he had to accept it. He didn't have a choice.

The next day Jack and the team were off and running early on a new case. They went to check out a lead and walked into an ambush. Jack, on point, was hit from several different directions before Sam and Danny took out the shooters. He was wearing his vest and had taken three to the chest that the vest absorbed, but he wasn't so lucky with his shoulder. As the paramedics loaded him into the ambulance, white-faced and sweating, while telling them all it was no big deal and they'd better get their asses back to work, Sam, Danny and Vivian looked at each other. "Someone needs to call Kate," Vivian finally said. "I'll do it," Sam said. She wasn't looking forward to it. Jack could be a bear, but a wounded Jack was a wounded bear. She knew from personal experience.

Jack was going stir-crazy in his hospital bed. The doctor had been in; both bullets had gone straight through and done minimal damage. He was still groggy from the painkillers, and all he could think about was Kate. Was she okay? Why wouldn't she take his calls?

As if he'd conjured her, his phone rang. He picked it up cautiously. _Kate_.

"Jack, I heard. How are you?" She sounded quiet, subdued, scared. _Damn it._

"Who called you?" he demanded, and then wished he could take it back.

He heard her quick intake of breath and thought that she'd give it right back to him, but she didn't. Fear punched him hard in the gut. If she wasn't arguing with him, she was really bad.

"Sam called me," she said, and he swore loud and long.

"Well, she shouldn't have. I'm fine."

"Getting hit with five bullets isn't fine."

"For me, it is. Might as well get used to it."

"I'm sorry, Jack, I was just worried and…"

"_You're_ worried?" he yelled. "I called you _fifteen_ times last night and _you're _worried? You won't let me worry about you, so why do you get that right?"

She started to cry. "I'm sorry, Jack, I just wasn't up to—"

He cut her off ruthlessly. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

He hung up the phone, cursed loudly, and threw it across the room, where it shattered against the wall. He cursed again, threw the water cup, then the pitcher for good measure.

In the hall, Samantha heard the commotion, on her way to his room with flowers from the team. A passing nurse noticed her and shook her head. "I wouldn't go in there, if I were you."

She poked her head in to find him furiously looking for something else to throw.

"I didn't bring a white flag," she finally said, "but I come in peace."

He scowled at her. "Why did you have to call her? We both know this is nothing. I'll be out of here tomorrow."

"I called her because I thought she might want to know."

"Well, maybe I didn't want her to know. She doesn't need this right now."

That was it. Sam stomped into the room with the flowers and set them down hard on the nightstand. "You're never going to learn, are you? You can't keep making decisions for other people. Caring about someone means actually sharing, leaning on someone. You know what, Jack? This is probably the last chance you're ever going to get to be happy. But forget it, because you're going to find a way to screw it up."

"Why does everyone think it's always my fault?" he yelled.

"Um, maybe because it usually is?" she shot back.

"She's not doing well with her chemo, okay, and I called her _fifteen _times last night because I was worried as hell about her. She couldn't even be bothered to let me know she was alive, damn it. And then you call her with this and she calls _right away_. I wanted her to lean on _me_, damn it, not try to do it herself. I want to be there _for her_."

Sam sat down in the chair by his bed, put her head in her hands, and laughed until she cried. Jack just stared at her. His life was falling apart, and she was _laughing_.

"Well, I'll be _damned_. You've finally met your match. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm trying to be sympathetic here, but what do you think it feels like to care about _you_? It's damn hard."

He just looked at her, then laid his head back on the pillows. "It is. Damn it."

Sam started to laugh again. "She's trying to shield you from her reality and you're trying to shield her from yours. You two are way too much alike. You should marry her, quick, because no one else will put up with this from either one of you."

He closed his eyes and scrubbed his hands over his face. His meds were wearing off, and he was starting to feel like he'd been shot. Twice. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I need to talk to her. Can I borrow your phone?"

Sam handed it over, started to laugh again, and backed out of the room with her hand over her mouth.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: The characters you know are not mine. The characters you are getting to know are mine.

Eighteen

He dialed, then closed his eyes. _Please pick up._

She answered. "Sam?"

"It's me, Katie. Don't hang up, please. I'm sorry, I was just so worried about you last night."

"I'm sorry, too. It was a bad day. I didn't have the energy to be cheerful and optimistic. I was just so sick, so…down. I didn't want to talk to you like that. I didn't want you to know it was bad and…freak out."

"Wasn't that my choice to make, not yours?" he asked quietly. "I can handle it, Kate. I want to be with you on bad days too, you know."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. And I'm sorry I didn't call when I got shot. I was afraid of how you'd take it if you were already down."

She laughed through her tears. "Wasn't that my choice to make?"

"I guess it was. So, listen, we ran into a little trouble today. I got shot, honey, but I'm going to be fine, I swear. I was wearing my vest, and it caught the three that hit my chest. My ribs are pretty bruised. I was hit in the shoulder twice, and both went straight through, minimal damage. I won't say it didn't hurt like a bitch, but I'll heal."

"Just another day at the office, huh?"

"No, it was a little worse than most."

"I'm weak, I'm hurting, I'm sick. What can I do? It'll save my life, or at least prolong my life, so it's worth it. I hate complaining about it, because if it gives me more time, what have I got to complain about? It was just a rough day. I decided to tell my class, and I got some flak for it, and I was feeling so bad…I was just having a pity party, and I didn't want anyone to see me like that."

"Not even me."

"Not even you."

"Could you please work on that? Because I won't let you visit me in the hospital the next time I get shot if you don't."

She laughed. "I'm not used to leaning on anyone, Jack."

"Yeah, I got that. Well, guess what? Neither am I. I am willing to try, for you."

"That may be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."

"Samantha thinks that you and I are going to have to get married because no one else will have either of us."

"Tell her thanks a lot."

"I can't. She left the room in hysterics after I asked to borrow her phone."

"Why did you borrow her phone? Did you really think I wouldn't take your call?"

"I couldn't use my phone. It broke when I threw it against the wall."

Kate laughed so hard she cried. "I think Sam's right about us," she finally said. "Do you think your therapist would take me on?"

Jack laughed. "I think one of us is all she can handle. I'll ask her, though, next time I see her. If you remember, I did tell you that I was a bad bet."

"And I did tell you I was better at fixing other people's problems than my own."

"I remember that conversation."

"Forewarned is forearmed," she reminded him.

"True. But the thing about me is, I don't much listen to warnings. I have to find things out the hard way."

Kate sighed. "Yeah, me, too."

"See? We are meant to be together."

"I kind of figured that out already."

"So will you still come and visit me in June?"

"You couldn't keep me away. You may not recognize me. I probably won't have any hair by then."

"You'll be beautiful bald. We'll stop on our way home from the airport and get your eyebrow pierced, and maybe your lip, and you'll fit right in."

"Um, Jack?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I need to tell you the rest from yesterday."

"Okay."

"Can I have permission to tell you after you've had your painkiller?"

He closed his eyes. This must be what it was like to live with him. No wonder no one was able to do it for very long. "Whatever it is, I love you. I can take it."

"My doctor wants me to go back for another mastectomy."

He closed his eyes and scrubbed his hand over his face, then covered his mouth with his hand. His next words were important, and he didn't want to screw them up. When he opened his eyes, Sam was standing in the doorway with two cups of coffee, watching him.

He made his voice casual. "Well, I'm no doctor, honey, but I would go with whatever your doctor thinks is best. If that's what it takes to keep you around, please, go tomorrow."

She snorted. "Easy for you to say. You don't have to lose your balls."

"Hey, who said anything about balls? If the choice is have my balls cut off or die, well, hey, it was fun while it lasted."

"It's a good thing I'm a woman, then," she said wryly.

"It's a very good thing. Seriously, Katie, I just want you. I can see why you'd be seriously pissed that this is happening to you, and I'm sorry for that. But honestly, I've realized that I'm very selfish when it comes to you. I know I said two days would be enough for me, but it wasn't. I'm a selfish guy. I want you for as long as I can have you, and if this will make that happen, that's all that matters to me. I love _you_."

Kate sniffed on the other line. "Well, now I sure feel like a fool. I could have told you last night and you could have handled it like that and made me feel better, and then we could've saved ourselves a lot of aggravation. Plus the cost of a new phone."

"I do have my moments. The phone incident, obviously, wasn't one of them, but I do have my moments."

"You certainly do. Listen, I'm going to hang up now. Try to get some rest, okay?"

"I'll try," he said, even though everyone knows you don't sleep when you're in the hospital.

"You, too."

"Okay. Bye, Jack. I love you."

"I love you. Bye."

He looked at Sam, who'd sat back down in the chair. He handed her the phone. She handed him his coffee. He took a sip and moaned with pleasure.

"This sure as hell isn't hospital coffee. Did you have permission to bring this in?"

"Nope," she said with a smile.

"Good." He looked at her again. "You know, if people knew what a mess I make of the simplest things, they wouldn't want me looking for their dog, much less their loved ones."

"We won't tell them, then, will we?"

"How did I do?"

"What, your little speech just now? I assume from that convoluted conversation that she needs another mastectomy?"

"Yeah, that's what the whole thing about last night was about. She didn't want to tell me."

"Can you blame her?"

"Not really, but I really wanted to say the right thing. I didn't know what to say, so I tried to tell her how I felt, you know. I just hope…I just hope I helped and didn't make things worse." He sighed. "This whole communication thing is pretty much hard work for me. I have no idea what I'm doing."

She smiled at him. "You did good. You do have your moments. You always did."

She rose from her chair and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to go. Be good, okay?"

"Thanks for stopping by," he told her. "Oh, will you do me a favor? Could you check and see if there's any possibility of salvaging my phone? Damn thing's got all my pictures on it."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't thrown it across the room…"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Will you just check, please?"

Sam had just deposited the pieces onto the foot of the bed when Danny walked in. "Just the person I wanted to see," she said. "Will you please, please, _please_, see what you can do with this pile of junk that used to be Jack's phone? I need to go."

"Yeah, sure, but…what the hell happened to it?"

"Long story." She pointed to Jack. "Ask him. He's got time." And she was gone.

Danny looked at Jack as he sat down to examine the pieces and just shook his head. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Okay. Tell me anyway."

Jack looked at the ceiling. "See, there's this woman…"

"Yeah, you know what? There always is."


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Not mine

Nineteen

Jack was going stir crazy waiting for June to arrive, and unable to get back into the field pending doctor's approval. Hanna had moved back in, grumbling about keeping him out of trouble and Kevin's incessant nagging. Jack didn't much care about the reason; he was happy to have her back regardless. He was quite fond of Kevin and thankful that the responsible, levelheaded young man saw his daughter as a little sister to be looked after; Lord knew he wasn't always on top of his game in getting that job done. He was getting along remarkably well with both of his daughters these days, and not embarrassed to admit that he was giving it more time and effort than he had ever done before. He and Hanna had settled into an easy routine, and Kate had begged to be allowed to come for a long visit once school ended next week, coinciding with Katie's visit with the boys, which Maria had grudgingly agreed to.

He strongly suspected that Maria was being so understanding of his moving on and including the girls in his new family endeavors because he was moving on with someone—anyone—other than Samantha Spade, and while the thought rankled, he grudgingly guessed he could understand her reasoning. It shouldn't matter now. He had moved on. She had moved on. Hell, even Sam had moved on. In the back of his mind it nagged him that he had not directly told Kate about the circumstances of his involvement with Sam, only as an oblique reference to the time. Was that a lie of omission? It didn't matter anymore, did it? He didn't regret what he had done, but he wasn't proud of the way he'd gone about it, and a part of him hoped she never had to know. He knew she was realistic, that she wasn't blind to his faults and his flaws but somehow loved him regardless, but still… why push his luck? He didn't think he deserved her, probably never would, and some part of him was sure that knowing that truth about him would be the end of them.

He had received an e-mail from Kevin, Brent and Rusty, informing them of the conversation on the way home from the airport and of their decision. He'd had to sit back a minute and take a deep breath when he'd read it. These deep-thinking, loving, extremely loquacious kids thought that he made their mother happy and they wanted him to know that if he ever decided he wanted to marry her, he had their permission, and by the way, they were willing to move to New York for him, just in case, you know, he was thinking about it. It was enough to shut down his brain entirely and give him an anxiety attack the likes of which his shrink had never seen.

He hadn't answered right away. He couldn't. He couldn't imagine what he could possibly tell them. _If you really knew me, you wouldn't want your mom within 100 feet of me_, maybe, for starters. This was an aberration, facilitated by the fact that he lived two thousand miles away and had thought it wouldn't ever get this serious. Because, really, who would have thought? What was he thinking? He couldn't do this. He couldn't even handle a relationship with someone in the same city, in the same room. What in the hell was he doing bringing innocent kids into this? It wasn't enough that he'd hurt his own kids with his issues, now he had to hurt someone else's kids? He had told her he wasn't this guy. He had told her he didn't know what he was doing. Apparently neither one of them had told her kids.

He had been frozen, wracked with guilt, wracked with indecision, when Sam had walked into his office. He'd had enough presence of mind not to respond at all, rather than do something that he would regret, and he had the most stricken look on his face she had ever seen.

"What is it?" she had asked him with trepidation. When he couldn't answer, she had walked around the desk. He wasn't bleeding. He was breathing. Didn't seem to be having a heart attack, although he was almost hyperventilating. "Is is the girls? Kate? Jack, you're scaring me. What is it?"

He'd gestured weakly to the e-mail, still trying to get himself under control, and Sam had read it, and smiled. She really liked these kids. Relaxing, she'd turned to him. "I don't know why this comes as such a surprise to you. You had to know those kids loved you." When he didn't respond, she sighed. Of course he didn't. This was Jack they were talking about. "Have you thought about it?" she'd asked him quietly. "Making it permanent?"

He'd closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. "Of course I have," he mumbled finally. "But that's selfish. I can't think that way."

"Why not?" she'd asked him kindly. They were still friends; they could still talk about anything.

He'd gaped at her. "You know I can't do it. You were there. I can't… these kids are going to get hurt, and that'll be my fault."

Understanding dawned, and she went over to the chair across from his desk. "Because it was your fault your daughters got hurt."

His look was impatient. "Of course. And Finn."

Jack had been picking Finn up regularly for play dates since he'd returned from San Antonio, and he knew the boy cried for him when he dropped him off. Guilt for that ate at him, too.

"Jack, I'm as much at fault for that as you are. You have to know that." His look told her plainly that he wasn't buying it. "And Maria… she shares the blame for the end of your marriage. You know this."

"I just… I just think…"

"Jack. Stop it," she interrupted. "These kids have accepted you. Be thankful for it. The question you have to answer is whether you want to be with this woman. That's it. Everything else will go from there."

"That's easy," he'd said with a laugh. "It's everything else that's hard."

"Just answer that question. What do you want? That's it."

"Yes, I do, okay? But I don't know how to do a healthy relationship. I don't know if we could even work."

"Jack, no one knows that. No one does. You have to take a leap of faith and do the best you can." And they both knew that was the hardest thing in the world for him. Faith. "Think about it." And she was so done with this conversation. Any more and she wouldn't be able to take it. "And, just for the record, with us, you weren't the one that dropped the ball. I was. You were doing a pretty damn good job." And then she was gone, leaving him with that to chew on.

He'd talked to Kate on the phone that night, and the warmth that filled him just from her voice and her presence on the line alone soothed his doubts. He did want to be with her. If he just concentrated on that and nothing else, it was a very easy decision. The week in San Antonio had been the best of his life, and he suddenly knew there was nothing more he wanted than to have that, to have her, for every day that he had left.

Now, as he sat staring at that e-mail as he did every day, he wasn't quite as terrified. He finally typed an answer, sending it before he could take it back.

_I am honored that you think I'm anywhere close to good enough for your mom. She is an amazing woman and I love her very, very much. I can't promise you what's going to happen, but knowing that's how you feel means a lot to me. Thank you for taking such good care of her._

Jack had been pacing the office like a caged lion for hours. "What time is her flight?" Vivian finally asked him.

"8 o'clock," he answered.

"Well, you have about three hours to go, so unless you want to wear out the tiles, I suggest you get yourself some coffee or something and sit down." He glared at her, but did as she asked. The team was looking forward to meeting Jack's Kate. Sam had filled them in, but they wanted to see her for themselves.

Jack had his heart in his throat as he waited for her with the girls. It had been five weeks but felt like five years. He had a bad moment when people stopped pouring down the stairs; he was suddenly sure she had changed her mind about coming, about him, about them. He was annoyed with himself; he was way too jumpy and needy when it came to this woman, and he couldn't seem to stop himself. The whole thing felt like a dream, too surreal to be true, and he couldn't help thinking that any minute he would wake up and be alone again.

Then he looked up again, and she was there. True to her word, she was bald. She wore a black ball cap, a black T-shirt that hugged her curves, jeans and high-topped sneakers on her feet. She looked about fifteen. Her eyes were huge in her face, and then luminous when she caught sight of him. This time, she didn't waste any time pretending for the sake of the kids, just walked straight into his arms, as he wrapped them around her like he'd never let her go.

He heard Hanna greet the boys, and then she said dryly, "Guess it's my turn to lead the way to baggage claim." Jack just nodded and waved them on, his eyes on Kate's. So much had happened since the last time he'd seen her. He couldn't care about anything else right now. Realizing they were in the way, he backed her to the nearest wall, where he preceded to kiss her senseless.

Kate was drowning. She had waited so long for this man, it seemed, and she had had so many doubts, but all of them had vanished when she'd seen him. She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him, and, finally, pulled back to lay her head against his chest. She felt the pounding of his heart against her cheek. She closed her eyes for a long moment as he held her close, and then she looked into his face. She couldn't speak, couldn't open her mouth at all, for fear that if she did, her words would terrify him. _Don't ever let me go again. _

Seeing her, having her in his arms again, Jack realized that he hadn't thought he'd ever see her again. Not really. And he promised himself at this moment that he would show her how much he loved her, and do his best to convince her to stay forever. He searched her face, taking in every detail, then reached for her hat. "Not here," she protested, as he smiled. She ran a hand over his shoulder, knowing just where; how, he had no idea.

They walked together to the baggage claim, arms around each other, neither willing to let go. They had spent more time apart than together, but this separation had seemed like years. This time there were no stops, and neither of them would have been able to tolerate them if there had been. They held hands desperately in the front seat, unable to be out of contact, unable to speak, as Kate devoured him with her eyes and Jack tried desperately to keep his eyes on the road. Why did none of their kids have a license yet, anyway? Hanna and Kate and the boys chattered happily in the back; Jack had had to rent an SUV because his car wasn't big enough for all of them. New York was just as foreign to the boys as San Antonio had been to the girls, and the girls enjoyed their awe and laughed at all they didn't know.

When they reached his building, the kids were out the doors in a second, the boys trailing comically behind their tour guides without a word to the adults, their excited happy voices still ringing in the air. It was all a grand adventure for them.

Still in the car, Jack turned to Kate, unable to believe this was happening. So much had happened since he'd seen her last that he didn't know where to begin. He just looked at her, drank her in, her beautiful smile, her ocean eyes full of adoration and longing, all for him, as the oxygen seemed to be sucked away once again, the electricity between them so strong he was amazed he couldn't see it shimmering there in the air between them. He must have revealed his emotions, because she smiled warmly and lifted a hand to stroke his face softly, reverently. She didn't speak. There were no words for everything she was feeling for him right now. She had to show him.

Tracing his dear, handsome face, she kissed him softly, running her fingers through his short hair and letting them rest on the back of his neck. Closing her eyes, she lost herself in him, in his smell and his taste and the sheer bliss of his mouth on hers. Licking at his lips, she delved into his mouth, still kissing him soft and slow, with all the love that she had deep inside her for this man. Slowly, sweetly, they melted together, sharing the longest, deepest, sweetest, hottest, most loving kiss either had ever experienced.

Still not speaking, they drew apart slowly, as if some major decision had been made, an irrevocable truth revealed. No words were needed. They already knew.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Not mine

Twenty

It was surreal being in Jack's apartment at last. She had dreamed of this for so long. She was here with him now, and not only had they not gotten tired of each other, but her feelings for him had only grown exponentially stronger, and she was pretty sure he felt the same way. Being without this man was almost painful for her now. The relief she felt to be here with him now was unspeakable.

He didn't have a back porch to sit out on to drink her wine, and that irked her. She wanted to sit with him and make out in the dark and drink wine until their kids went to sleep. Jack smiled at her.

"There's a park down the street," he offered, and she smirked.

"I don't think we want to be caught drinking wine at the park."

He grinned at her. "Probably not, but if that's what you want, we'll do it."

He was completely serious. She gaped at him. She had never known a man like him.

"Come on," he said, in that irresistible voice. "We'll drink wine in the dark and make out in here until the kids go to sleep." They sat together, in the living room in the dark, looking out at the city and listening to its sounds. He was right. It was like a different planet here. She was as spellbound as her kids were, but in her head the wheels were turning, and there were so many conflicting thoughts and viewpoints that she was beginning to feel schizophrenic. Could she live here? Did she want to live here? Did Jack even want her here? Could she safely raise her kids here? Jack's kids turned out fine. Jack is here. Could she even find a job here? Did she want to leave her home? Jack is here. How would her boys take to leaving their school and their friends? Their home? Starting a new school in a new state? Jack is here.

Amid all the chaos swirling in her mind right now, apparently that was the only thing that mattered. And it scared her. She heard her best friend's voice in her head. "Don't worry so much. Just have a good time while you're there and you can worry about the rest later," Jeanne had told her this morning. It was good advice.

Still hearing the happy voices of their kids coming out of the girls' bedrooms, she smiled. Right now she was exactly where she wanted to be, and that was all she'd let matter. She turned to him. "Let me see the newest additions to your collection," she said, pulling the collar of his T-shirt down over his shoulder. She liked him just like this. The thin cotton molded itself to his shoulders and chest, and the sleeves stopped in the middle of his delicious biceps. She ran her fingers up his arm until she found the new scars, leaning closer to press her lips to each of them.

Jack closed his eyes at the sensation of her lips on his skin. He'd thought he'd never feel this way again, and it had been unbearable. As much as he was enjoying her presence and basking in her warmth and her closeness, the feeling of dread that thinking of her going home brought him threatened to choke him. He had to find a way to make her stay. Just enjoy this, a part of him urged. Forget everything else and enjoy the time you have with her. But he couldn't make this dark anxiety leave him. He needed her closer, and when she lifted her face and straightened his shirt, he pulled her to his mouth with a gentle hand on the back of her neck and kissed her, and kept on kissing her, until the voices in both their heads were blissfully silent or they were just too lost in each other to care.

Much later, Kate lay in bed with Jack spooned behind her, still holding her tightly as if his subconscious thought she would disappear while he slept. They hadn't spoken yet of the next time they would see each other, and she hated the needy, possessive side of her that needed a specific date. How long could they go on like this? She told herself that she was here with him now, that should be enough, but it wasn't any more. She wanted her place to be here with him. She wanted to know that he was coming home to her every night, and she had no idea if he felt the same way. Judging from his reaction to her this evening, they were on the same page, but they needed to talk. Really talk. And if visits every few months was all they could have, until it got too much and they had to give up, she'd take it. Would it one day get too much? Her mind finally balked, and shut down. No more. She stroked his forearm as she fell asleep, vowing to enjoy each moment they had together.

Jack took them all to the office early the next day. He'd promised the boys a tour, and he wanted to introduce them to his team. They were the only family he had now, apart from the girls. He walked in in his jeans and a black polo shirt, his battered cross-trainers on his feet, and you could see jaws drop left and right. As of today, he was officially on vacation, and he hadn't shaved this morning. He looked young and relaxed and impossibly sexy, and Sam tried not to notice, but failed. Kate's hand was in his, and the kids danced around them like satellites. Immediately the team surrounded them, and Kate hugged them all, especially the very-tall-and-handsome Martin and Danny, who were quick with jokes and made her smile. Jack took the boys on an informal tour, and Danny went with them, leaving Kate with Martin, Vivian and Sam.

Kate's phone rang, and she frowned at the screen, looking around for a private spot.

"You can use my desk if you like," Sam volunteered, surprising them all, and Kate smiled. "Thanks."

Sam met the measured looks Martin and Vivian gave her. "What? Is there any reason we can't get along? We're all adults here." Vivian raised her a brow but said nothing, and Martin gave her a look and shook his head.

Kate talked for awhile, started to use the computer to look something up, and looked for Sam for permission. When she got the nod, Kate logged into her e-mail and shot off a quick message. She couldn't help but notice the picture next to the monitor. Brian was indeed prettier than Sam, if such a thing was possible. He was almost impossibly handsome, and the two of them and their adorable little boy looked like the perfect family. Kate smirked. She knew appearances could be deceiving from personal experience, and for some reason just looking at the guy made her distrust him on sight, and that was officially none of her business. Finally she logged off her e-mail, and ended the call. She found Sam seated at a nearby table with Vivian. "Thanks," she told the other woman. "It was a small emergency, and easy to handle. Just needed to e-mail one of her teachers, and hopefully that will be enough."

Vivian looked up as Kate walked by. "Sit down. They'll probably be awhile."

Kate sat with a smile. "Thanks."

"That was one of your students?"

"A former student. She's been placed with about her tenth foster family, and she's so close to graduating. I want to help her get there. She had a misunderstanding with a teacher, and I wanted to explain the situation to her. Most people have compassion if you explain things."

Vivian smiled, a little sadly. "You can't save 'em all, you know."

Kate smiled back. "I do know. But I can make a difference to a few. If more people would do what they could, there wouldn't be so many kids who didn't get saved."

"Ain't that the truth."

Martin spoke up. "It'll eat away at your soul if you take it home with you."

Kate just smiled again. "At least I'll still have a soul. Look, I appreciate that you guys know where I'm coming from. I've learned not to do too much. I don't approach gang members to try to talk them out of _anything_ anymore." She saw the looks on their faces and grinned. "Trust me, you don't want to know. Anyway, I don't do things like that anymore, so it's nothing for Jack to worry about."

"What don't I have to worry about?"

Kate looked up to see Jack standing over her, a smile in his eyes.

"Better that you don't know."

He looked at his team, who knew him too well. There were too many things it was better that Kate didn't know, and they knew most of them. Reading his mind, Vivian smiled. "Karma's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Yeah, don't ever speak to these people again," he said conversationally to Kate. "And for God's sake, don't ever get them drunk. If you find out the things that they know about me, you'll never speak to me again. You ready? Let me go get the kids. I left them down the hall."

"Sure." She turned to his team. "It was good to meet all of you."

They nodded, and hugged her, and looked at each other and shrugged as she turned to leave. She was the last person they would have expected Jack to fall for, but she suited him, somehow.

"Kate? Kate from Texas?" Kate stopped, then burst into a smile as she recognized the tall man who'd recognized her.

"Special Agent Walker, how the hell are you?"

He hugged her like an old friend. "How are your kids?"

"They're great, thanks. How're yours?"

"They're fine."

"And your wife?"

"Good. We're all good."

"What are you doing here?"

"I work here. Transferred here last year. What are you doing here? Don't tell me you left teaching."

"Still teaching. Met a man, came up to visit him. She angled her head in the direction of Jack's office. "Jack Malone."

Surprise showed on Dan Walker's face. "Well, I'll be damned. You and Malone. Huh." Jack came down the hall at that moment, with the boys in his wake, chattering happily. He stopped when he saw Kate talking to Walker. He nodded. "Walker."

Dan nodded back. "Malone."

Jack looked at Kate quizzically. "You know each other?"

Kate grinned. "Dan's from San Antonio. We met a few years back…there was a little matter of a hostage situation at my school. Dan got us all out of it with no blood shed. Not even the screwed-up kid with the gun."

Jack looked at Kate, and wondered if he would ever know all there was to know about her. "Is there such a thing as a 'little' hostage situation?" he mused, a contemplative look on his face as Danny, walking by, mumbled, "Sounds like something you'd say, doesn't it?" Jack shot him an unamused look.

Kate rolled her eyes. "It was no big deal. A screwed-up kid held us at gunpoint for a couple of hours. He was twelve years old, for God's sake! I talked to him, pretty much did Dan's job for him, but he did keep us from getting shot by a sniper, so I have to give him credit for that. A lot of people would have had the kid shot and ended the whole thing."

Dan Walker looked at her. "A lot of people would have moved out of the way so that my guys could have taken the shot, and maybe not warned him to stay away from the windows."

Kate shrugged. "You had your job, I had mine."

Jack had to smile. He was glad Dan Walker had worked that case, and not him. He'd probably have strangled her on the spot.

Dan Walker looked up at him. "Come to think of it, from everything I've heard, you two are probably a lot alike."

Kate grinned. "Where have I heard that before?"

Jack looked at her with laughter in his eyes, quirking his mouth to keep from grinning at her. "Are you ready to go?"

"You bet," she told him, reaching for his outstretched hand and taking it in hers. "Good to see you, Agent Walker," she called over her shoulder as Jack pulled her down the hall.

"Always a pleasure, Mrs. J.," he answered, with a smile. Kate J. was definitely one of a kind. To imagine her with Malone, of all people…well, stranger things had happened.

The boys had made a list of what they wanted to see, and they spent the day checking items off the list. The girls, of course, thought all of these things were horribly mundane, but they were happy to play tour guides once again. They went to Central Park, and the Statue of Liberty, of course, but Rusty's favorite was the observatory on the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building.

Last was Ground Zero. Kevin had made it clear that it had been his request . They stood there for a long time, not talking, just being there. They were silent, even Rusty, filled with reverence, and Jack found himself a little awed by these deep-thinking, sensitive kids. He had always wanted a boy and now, it seemed, he had three. Finally Kevin knelt, his eyes closed. His mother put her hand on his shoulder, but said nothing. Jack too, laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. He teased Kate about her religion, but in truth, there was something intensely powerful about these young boys believing so strongly. Rusty knelt next to his brother, after awhile, and then Brent, as Kate leaned into Jack and closed her eyes, silent tears running down her face.

When the boys stood to leave, Kate wiped her face and smiled at Jack. "Thank you." He didn't speak—couldn't—but he knew that he was the one who should be thanking her.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Twenty One

It was getting late and the team was finishing up paperwork when Kate stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall. He had come here to get away from her, she knew, after one hell of a fight. She had thought seriously about just going to sleep. After all, it was his apartment. He had to come home sooner or later. And they she realized that she didn't really want to leave things the way they were, so she'd gotten dressed and come to find him.

She peeked into Jack's office, saw the look on his face, and apparently thought better of going in. Danny, in the meantime, was frantically waving her down. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you," he warned her. Even Elena shook her head. "He's in a rotten mood. I would leave him here overnight and try again in the morning."

Kate sighed and sat down heavily in one the chairs at the big table where they were working. "I'm going to have to face the music sooner or later, since his mood is kind of my fault."

They immediately rallied around her, telling her that it wasn't her, that Jack could be an asshole, and all kinds of other things. She just laughed. "Yeah, well, I kind of told him to butt out of my life. I hurt his feelings, and I owe him an apology."

"I have had to tell him to butt out of my life a million times," Sam put in, earning a look form Vivian that clearly said '_not helping_' which she ignored. "I'm sure it was justified."

But Kate just looked up at them ruefully. "He made an appointment for me to see an oncologist here in the city, get a second opinion, without telling me. I lost my cool, told him to butt out of my life and stop treating me like a child. To which he accused me of 'just giving up,' to which I answered that I had every right to do." The team looked at her in horror, and she nodded. "I told you. I lost my temper. I'll talk to him, tell him I don't mean it. It's just… I just felt like he went behind my back, and… I don't know, for him to say I was giving up…he has no idea what I've been through, how hard I've fought, or he wouldn't say that."

Vivian nodded. "Maybe you should tell him."

"I know. I will. Wish me luck." The team watched as she squared her shoulders and walked to his door, her Converse high-tops squeaking on the floor, looking about fifteen in her skinny jeans and thin sweater, a pink ball cap on her head. She took a deep breath, and opened the door to go in without knocking. Sam looked at the others. "See? They're meant for each other."

"Yeah, they're both stubborn, dysfunctional workaholics with anger issues. They'll probably be together forever," Danny remarked.

"Either that, or they'll kill each other in a week," Martin added.

Jack looked up when the door opened. Kate was the last person he'd expected to see. He'd half expected her to be packed and gone by the time he got back. He wouldn't blame her, either. He should have learned his lesson by now. He'd been trying to help, but he knew from experience that his idea of helping and other people's idea of helping rarely coincided. He just knew that he was too raw right now to talk to her. He knew himself. In the state he was in right now, he was 100% guaranteed to say something stupid that would drive her away for good, and that was the last thing he wanted. He just didn't know how to stop it. He felt a sudden déjà vu: the end with Sam had come in much this way. "I'm not ready to talk to you," he finally said.

"Well, that's tough, because I owe you an apology and you're going to get it." He sat back in his chair, stunned. He was usually the one doing the apologizing.

Kate didn't sit down. She paced, then stopped in front of his desk. She laid her hands on the desk and leaned over it, so that he was looking up into her face, so that there was nowhere to go, and no way he could mistake her meaning. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I was insulted by the implication that I hadn't done everything I could to fight. That I hadn't gotten myself the best care available. That I would leave my kids—and you—without a fight." He opened his mouth to speak and she silenced him with a raised hand. "If I were giving up, I wouldn't have agreed to another round of chemo which, let's face it—be glad you missed, because it wasn't pretty. I was gut-sick every hour of every day. And I knew what I was getting into because I'd already been through it once. And then, agreeing to another mastectomy, which I still might have to have—agreeing voluntarily to become half a woman—don't you dare say I'm not fighting." She took a deep breath, still looking into his eyes. "I understand that you have abandonment issues, and all I can tell you is this: if I leave you, you have to know that with my last breath, I fought to stay with you. Always."

"I'm sorry, Kate. I was honestly trying to help. I thought maybe this guy might have some more ideas…something new that we could try…" The _we_ nearly broke her. "I didn't mean that you weren't doing all you could—what I said after was just my temper talking. You are about the bravest person I know—and losing your breasts doesn't make you half a woman. I think it makes you more." He walked around his desk and took her in his arms. "I love you so much," he breathed into her hair. "I'm so scared of losing you. I realized this week—I don't want you to go home. I don't ever want to be away from you again. Not for one more day." She looked at him, her eyes wide. "I think with my own special brand of convoluted Jack Malone reasoning that I was hoping you would find a doctor here you liked, and a new treatment, and you'd stay forever."

"Well, that's a pretty stupid way of getting me to stay forever," she said swiping angrily at her own tears. "Why couldn't you just ask me?"

"Because I'm basically a coward. I told you I was no good at this stuff. I don't know why you're so surprised when I keep doing stupid things."

He took hold of her shoulders and set her away from him, at arm's length, so he could concentrate on what he was about to say. He was no good at being put on the spot. He needed time to think, and process, and research, and decide on a course of action. But he wasn't going to get it. He looked at her for a long time, his eyes never leaving hers, until he knew what he had to do: the only thing he could do. Slowly, his eyes still on hers, he took her hands in his, and then slowly dropped to one knee.

In the hall, Vivian, who was still watching, got the attention of the rest of the team. They stood there, together, looking on. "He's gonna screw it up," Martin said, and Sam elbowed him in the ribs. "Shut up. Don't say that."

"What the hell are you doing?" she whispered.

"Kate, I love you. I realize that I don't deserve you, but I give you my word that I will spend every day doing my best to make you happy. I'm a bad bet, a pain in the ass, and fifty years old. But if you want me, I want you to be my wife."

"Are you trying to talk me into it or out of it?"

He laughed. "I'm not sure. I just want to be honest with you."

"I think I know what I'm getting into by now. Besides," she laid a hand against his cheek. "I may not even make it to fifty."

"I don't care. For as long as we have, I want to spend it with you."

She tugged on his arm. "Get up, you idiot."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, damn it. Yes, I'll marry you, but I think we're both—" She was cut off as he kissed her. "Insane."

"Oh, I know it," he said in between kisses. "But you know what? I don't care anymore." He kissed her again. And again.

There was a knock and they looked up to see the whole team standing there, from Danny and Elena beaming with their arms around each other to Vivian with an indulgent smile, to Martin shaking his head, to Sam, smiling with tears in her eyes. Then the door was opened and there were hugs and congratulations all around. Kate felt like one of the family, for she knew that's what they were: his family. She was even hugged by Sam. Finally, Jack looked around his office. "Don't you have somewhere to go? Get out of here." To Kate he said, "Listen, honey, I'm just waiting for a call and then I'll be ready to go. Do you want to wait?"

"Sure, I'll wait. I'm going to grab a soda."

"Break room's around the corner."

"I can find it. I'll be back."

In the break room, Kate got herself a soda and then sat down at one of the tables. She took a drink and set her ball cap on the table, then put her head in her hands. Today had been an emotional roller-coaster for her, and it had taken a lot out of her. As much as she wanted to be with this man, she just wasn't sure she could go through this kind of wringer every day, especially with the cancer. It had been different when she was in remission. Now, she just didn't know if she had the energy. What had she gotten herself into? Did she just agree to move to New York? How in the hell was she going to do that? What was she going to do about a job? And the kids? She shook her head at herself. She should have told him she'd think about it, should have made him talk it out, rather than making the decision just like that. But that look in his eyes... there was no way she could have said anything else.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Not mine

Twenty Two

Jack looked up to see Sam standing in his doorway, looking uncertain. Damn. He probably shouldn't have done this here, but she had been the one to end it, hadn't she? He wished he knew the etiquette on these types of situations. He was tired of being the asshole and hurting the people he cared about. She sat down across from his desk, where she'd sat a million times in the past, and he just looked at her. "What's wrong?" he asked, knowing that something was.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked him, a tremor in her voice, something he would never have associated with her. She may be a beautiful woman, but she was also one of the toughest agents he'd ever known, with a spine of pure steel.

"Yeah, I think so."

"I don't want you to think you have to do this because of me."

Jack sighed. He propped his elbows on his desk, put his face in his hands, and scrubbed his hands over it. Finally he looked at her. "Look, you're the one who wanted things this way. You can't have both. Are you having second thoughts?"

"No, I just…"

"I want you to be happy. I'm happy for you. But I've got to go on, too. I thought I made it clear that I wouldn't be waiting for you to change your mind."

"I don't expect you to wait, but to marry someone you've known a couple of months…"

"It's my choice to make, Sam. I didn't plan this. Christ, I don't even know how long we'll have together. All I know is I love her and I want to be with her. I know all of you think I just want her because I can't have you, but it's not true. I loved you, yes, and probably always will. But you and I could never get it together, could never get our timing right. And maybe there's a reason for that. I don't know. But this is what I want now, and I'm asking you, please, be happy for me."

He moved around the desk and she stood and hugged him, hard. "Okay. I'll try."

Vivian looked up and saw them like that for a long time, and sighed, shaking her head.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kate looked up to see Martin looking at her with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered automatically, but he didn't keep walking.

Instead he looked at her with a kind of patience. "Do you want to talk about it?" He sat down, and she thought, what the hell?

"It's just…it's just a lot to deal with right now. I don't even know where we're going to live. I'm just…I'm just tired right now."

Martin was silent, just looking at her. Finally she rolled her eyes. "What?"

"Look, I'm not trying to cause problems for you. It's just that I've known them for a lot of years now, and it's always come back to Jack and Sam. I feel dishonest not telling you. I don't think things will ever be over with them."

Kate looked at him with new understanding, and compassion. "And you found that out the hard way, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't handle it."

"Well, the difference is, I can. I appreciate you having the guts to tell me, believe me, I do. But I know what I'm getting into. At this point in my life, Jack is exactly what I'm looking for, baggage and all."

"So you don't mind being his second choice?"

She smiled. "Apparently you've had some near-death experiences of your own. Cuts away the crap, doesn't it? Well, see, I guess I think if this man with extreme abandonment issues can overlook the fact that I'm dying, I can overlook the fact that he'll probably always love Samantha Spade."

"You're not dying."

She smiled at him again. He was so _young_. "Honey, we're all dying. Some of us are just gonna get there quicker than others. You don't get it." This guy was nothing to her, a stranger, really, but, somehow, she was suddenly desperate to make him understand. "I've been where you are and thought like you think and you know what? At the end of the day, none of that matters. _None_ of it. I love him and I want to be with him. That's it. That's all there is to think about, for me. Sure, there are details that will try to trip me up. But that's all that really matters."

He looked at her. "I can see what he sees in you," he said quietly.

"I'm glad you can, 'cause I sure can't," she said, with a smile, and then she looked up and saw Jack in the doorway, and her smile grew. "Gotta go. Thanks for the advice." She gave Martin a quick hug, grabbed her cap and set it back on her head, then crossed the distance to Jack in three long strides. She stepped close, kissed him quickly, and said, "We need to talk."

He nodded. "I figured. Can we do it in the car?"

"Lots of things we can do in the car," she was saying conversationally as they left arm in arm, and Martin smiled. He hoped they made it. He really did.

In the car, Jack turned to look at her. She was looking at him, talking to him, so he didn't figure he'd screwed up too badly. He leaned closer, conspiratorially, resting his arm on the seat back. "So tell me," he said, "did I jump the shark?"

Kate laughed. "No, no sharks. But we may have jumped the gun a little. Not," she added quickly, "that I don't want to marry you. But maybe we could just take it one day at a time." She lifted a hand to his face. He'd grown out his beard for her again, and it was soft beneath her palm. She thought it suited him somehow; it softened the lines of his face, made him look more approachable. Of course, that probably wasn't a plus in his line of work, and she was okay with him shaving if off as soon as she was gone. _Gone_. She didn't want to go, she realized. She actually did want to stay with him. Forever. His hand dropped to her neck.

"We could do that," he agreed, his eyes on her mouth. She smiled, unable to resist leaning closer until their breath mingled. That was going to be one the drawbacks of living with this man: she couldn't see how they would ever get anything done. She would always want to kiss him. But then, if that was the main drawback, life was certainly going to be good.

"As long as I can sleep with you every night," he said, kissing her cheek, her throat, "and wake up with you every morning. Because that's a deal breaker for me." She smiled and let her head fall back onto the head rest, as he moved to the other side of her face, her ear, her neck, her shoulder. "Where are we going to live, Jack?" she asked, trying desperately to keep on topic.

"Wherever you want," he breathed into her skin.

"You would really move to Texas? For me?"

"I'd do anything for you," he told her, realizing it was the truth. In the back of his mind he, realized that he had thought this was the next best thing after Sam, fun and romance without all the emotional baggage and angst, but he realized with a sudden flash of clarity that it wasn't true. He wanted to be with this woman, no matter what. It defnitely wasn't light and uncomplicated, and he had to laugh at himself that he'd fooled himself into thinking that was what he wanted.

"Then we should live here," she told him. "Your daughters need you, Jack. Texas is too far for you to be away from them."

"We'll make it work," he told her, kissing her again, pulling her close and, in that moment, preferring his car over hers. His had a single bench seat. She moved into his arms without complaint, reaching for him, kissing him back.

"But not in the city," he said. "We can find a house in the suburbs somewhere, with a back yard and plenty of room to shoot hoops." Under his mouth, he felt her smile. "And a porch swing. We have to have a porch swing."

"Jack?" Her hands were on the buttons of his shirt. "If you don't want me to take you in this parking lot, you'd better get us out of here."

He smiled. "I'm on it."

She kissed him again. "You know we'll never get anything done if we live together. We won't be able to keep our hands off of each other."

"I'm okay with that," he told her. "Totally on board."

When they got to his building, he fervently hoped the kids were asleep, because he suddenly realized that, tonight, he didn't have any patience at all. He punched the up button, and he didn't dare touch her as they waited for the elevator. The elevator pinged and the door opened, and he stood politely while Kate swept past him, then stepped in, punching the button for his floor as the doors slid shut behind him. Then he was turning to her and she was pressing him up against the wall, hard, kissing him as if she would never get enough. He caught her face in his hands and kissed her back, angling his head for a better fit as his tongue mated with hers. Faintly he heard the "ding" at each floor, but fortunately they didn't stop to let anyone else on, and Jack didn't think he would have let go of her if they had. Kate arched her body against him, rubbing, grinding her hips against his hard enough to rip a low groan from his chest. She kissed his ear, his neck, moving down his chest, past his collar until she was stopped by the vee of his shirt. She grabbed his shirt collar in both hands, and the split-second when he wasn't sure whether or not she would rip his shirt open here in the elevator made him harder than he'd ever thought possible.

They stopped at his floor, and Kate took a step back, smiled at him, and then ran a hand from his face to his chest, lower still, until she cupped him boldly through his pants. Then she dropped her hand and grinned at him. "Let's hope the kids are asleep."

He dragged her close for another kiss, hot and hard and wet. "They'd better be."

She loved him like this, sexy and dangerous, and in that instant couldn't believe that this man could truly be hers. She grabbed him, by the hand this time, and pulled him with her off the elevator, where they stood together outside his door. When he opened it, the lights were still on but all was quiet. Closer investigation found all the kids watching a movie in Hanna's room, while Rusty and Kate had dozed off on the floor.

When Kate opened her mouth to call out to the kids, Jack slapped a hand over her mouth, warning her with his eyes. He pulled her back down the hall, to his room, closing the door softly behind him, and locking it. "The kids are still awake," Kate told him with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah, got that. That's why the door's locked."

"Do you think this is a good idea—" she began as his mouth covered hers. Then he was pulling her with him to the bed, and clothes were flying.

When his heartbeat had returned to normal, Jack looked at her. "We will definitely need an elevator in our house in the suburbs," he told Kate seriously, which made her laugh, which made him want to kiss her again. So he did. It was a vicious cycle.

Later, while Kate watched him sleep, she was hit with the truth of what she had told Martin in the break room. None of the rest of it mattered. Only that she was meant to be with this man.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: An M chapter. A long M chapter. Thanks for reading and for leaving me such lovely enthusiastic reviews! This story has been sitting there in bits and pieces for so long and I'm glad others are enjoying it. Sorry it's been a few days. This chapter was being difficult.

Twenty Three

Jack sipped his coffee as he watched Kate sleep. He found himself doing it probably more often than was strictly healthy, but he honestly didn't care. He liked doing it, so he did. That simple. She had taught him that. She was so beautiful in sleep, devoid of makeup, her features relaxed and peaceful, eyelashes fluttering as her eyes moved behind her lids in deep-REM sleep. He wondered what she was dreaming about right now, relieved that it obviously wasn't one of her far-too-frequent nightmares. He worried so much for her. Her heart was too big for her own good. Her mind concocted horribly gruesome scenarios about the kids that she had lost touch with that had had tragic home lives, and what had happened with Tommy and Ricky hadn't helped. She often woke up shaking, crying, whispering broken apologies that she hadn't been there, that she'd let them down. The physical wounds from that day had healed and scarred over, but he didn't think the mental damages were healing at all. Her guilt went too deep.

He picked up her right hand and held it in his, her scarred knuckles a vivid reminder for him of the horror of that day. And if it weren't for that case, they wouldn't be here now, together. Kate wasn't obnoxious about her religion, but she believed that everything happened for a reason, and damned if he wasn't starting to think there just might be something to it. Raising her hand to his lips, he covered it with soft kisses, his eyes on her face, wanting to see her eyes when they opened and lit on him for the first time of the day. It was a beautiful sight, and one that never failed to stir him. He had never known someone to look at him the way she did.

It wasn't a few moments later, when those still-startling blue-green eyes opened on his, and instantly filled with warmth and affection. He still couldn't believe that just the sight of him could inspire such feelings in another. "Good morning," he told her in that deep, gravel-filled morning voice that she loved so very much. "You must have been having nice dreams. I've been enjoying watching you sleep."

Kate smiled sleepily. Would she ever get tired of waking up with this man? He was so beautiful first thing in the morning, his broad chest bare, his hair wild, his eyes soft and liquid, as if the world began and ended with her. "Good morning yourself," she murmured, closing her eyes to receive his soft wake up kiss. "I was having the most wonderful dreams, because they were all about you." Tangling her fingers in his hair, she sighed into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, pulling her hand from his to run her nails down his back and grasp his shoulder to pull him closer. She knew she would never get tired of waking up like this, to him. Rolling over, he settled himself closer so that they were both on their sides, pressed together full length, and then they were wrapped together perfectly, and she pushed her hips into his while he slowly kissed and nipped and licked his way from her ear down her neck, spending time at all of his favorite spots and enjoying her breathless reaction and her gasps of pleasure. He wanted to take his time and worship her today. He wanted to show her exactly how he felt about her so there would be no doubt in her mind just how much he loved her. It was suddenly the most important thing in the world.

His fingers skimmed slowly down her body to the hem of her nightshirt, which was really nothing more than a glorified extra-long tank that hit her mid-thigh, and it always gave him a thrill when she wore it. Just imagining her sleeping next to him in that little scrap of nothing turned him on. He heard her sharply drawn breath as his fingers inched it up, inexorably slowly, and the way she threw her head back suddenly gave him an idea. Moving down her body, he moved his hot open mouth to the spot just below his fingers, rubbing his rough chin against her smooth skin, thrilling in her gasp of pure arousal. "Jack!" she moaned way too loudly. "The kids!"

He soothed the skin he'd just so sensually abraded with his velvet tongue, laughing into her skin at her wanton reaction as her hips arched off the bed, still moving so slowly, inch by inch, devouring each small expanse of newly uncovered softness until the offending garment was now bunched around her hips, finally lifting his head to look into her eyes as no barriers remained between them. "Gone," he rasped. "It's just you and me."

_Oh, thank God,_ was the only thought able to permeate the fog of desire that he'd plunged her into as he lowered his head once more with a dark lascivious gleam in his eyes that nearly made her come undone. God, this man could be so deadly when he put his mind to it. He lifted his eyes to hers as she watched him, watched his tongue come out and lap at her, wanting to see the exquisite expressions of pleasure cross her face and know that he put them there, thrilling in her mindless whimpers and the lustful incoherent syllables that spilled from her lips as she panted his name. Her nails digging painfully into his shoulders made it almost impossible to maintain his patience, but it was worth it when he felt her come apart under his lips and teeth and tongue with an intensity that astounded him. Hungrily he moved up her body, the nightshirt shoved up and over her head impatiently now, his teeth nipping at her ravenously, as she pulled him up desperately, still shaking, unable to wait an instant longer.

"Please," she begged in the sexiest tone of voice he had ever heard in his life. She wrapped her hands around his biceps as he kissed her deeply, pulling back just enough to look into her eyes as he entered her. "I love you, Katie," he managed to breath as he started to move, and she joined him, rising to meet him on each thrust, overcome by him already. She kissed him greedily, her hands on his face, then sliding down his neck to his shoulders, down his chest and around to his back, and then down to his slowly working hips, her fingers digging in, trying to coax him to increase his pace. He wasn't being persuaded, however. He wasn't going to lose his mind this time; he was making love to her and he wanted her to know it.

Kate held his eyes, knowing everything she felt for him was right there on her face right now. She didn't care. She wanted him to know. He certainly did have his moments, she thought as she moved with him, lost in the look of lustful adoration on his beautiful face. He kissed her again, long, slow and deep, resting his forehead against hers as he thrust slowly and deliberately, but gradually picking up the pace as he could feel her building, tightening around him. "Oh, yes," she breathed into his mouth, barely able to speak at all, "that's… oh… right…"

And then she shattered, all coherent thought gone, clutching him tightly as her walls drew him in and he was right there with her, gasping for air and out of his mind with pleasure, worrying just a little when he finally came back to earth that he may be having a heart attack, as he didn't think his old heart had ever beat so fast or ever would again.

Holding her close as they both fought for air, Jack looked over at the clock and groaned. "Sweetheart, we need to get in the shower. We're going to be late."

Kate looked at him warily. "Just what have you done?"

He just grinned and dragged her up out of bed with him. "It's a surprise." At her sustained suspicion, his grin widened. "It's a good surprise, I promise."

Kate's eyes went wide when she realized where they were. Jack just smiled. "I wanted to bring you on Saturday, because that's the day I always come by. He'll be expecting me, but you'll be a surprise."

"Oh, Jack." Her eyes filled with tears. "I can't believe you make time to see him every week." Jack had been keeping her updated on Tommy's progress, and the little boy had tried three foster homes and was unable to stay in any of them. He just couldn't make himself trust any of those people. This was a special place, though, and he was doing all right. Well, as good as could be expected, Jack admitted. It was going to take a long, long time before anyone would describe the boy as 'all right.'

He opened the door for her and took her hand. "Come on. I know he'll be happy to see you."

"Good morning, Agent Malone," the attendant at the desk greeted him with a warm smile; they all knew him by name by now. He was the closest thing to family that Tommy had, and Tommy was one of their favorites. There had been days when they'd had to call Jack to get Tommy to eat, and once he'd locked himself in the laundry room and only Jack had been able to talk him out of it. He had a special connection with the boy; they had all seen it. Jack was embarrassed by it; he really hadn't done anything special. It had been all Kate in his opinion. He thought that these ladies had spent a little too much time with these poor kids and it had driven them all a little crazy.

"Good morning, Susan. I brought a special visitor for our boy today," he said, and the young woman beamed at him, and then at Kate. "Oh, you must be Miss J. He talks about you all the time. This will make his day. You two can go on down. He's in the great room." They signed in and Jack took her hand in his again.

Kate was so nervous she felt like she was going to lose her breakfast any minute. This boy had gone through hell and she had stood back and let it happen. She hadn't done anything to stop it. She still hated herself for that, and there was nothing Jack or anyone else could say to change her mind. She saw him as they entered the room, standing on the fringes of a group of children playing a game on an iPad. It was obvious that he was interested, but he was keeping his distance. The woman who was standing close keeping a sharp eye on them spotted Jack immediately, and her face lit up in a bright smile. Kate had to refrain from grinning at him; all of these women had crushes on him. It brought her out of her funk without her permission.

"Tommy," she called, "your visitors are here." Tommy looked up at her, then turned slowly, and his smile spread its way slowly across his face like a sunrise. "Jack," he called happily, and then he saw Kate. "MISS J.!" he yelled. "YOU CAME!" The kids stopped playing and stared at him in shock. He very rarely spoke, and when he did, it was so low and tentative that they had to strain to hear him. Never had they heard an exclamation like that from him before. And then he was running to her and almost knocking her down in an enthusiastic hug, as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him to her tightly, fiercely. She had told Jack that she didn't know what to say to him, beyond how sorry she was, and Jack had assured her that it wouldn't be necessary, that the boy didn't blame her in the least. Most of the time he still blamed himself, but he was slowly starting to comprehend, with daily therapy, that it was the grown-ups who should have been looking after him that were to blame, and not him or Ricky. Believing it, however, would probably be a lifelong journey for him.

He was still too thin, and Kate could feel his ribs as he held her tightly with his bony arms. His eyes were shining, however, when he finally pulled back to beam at her. "I missed you," he said. "I missed you so much. Ricky missed you too." A shadow crossed his face. "Ricky's gone, Miss J." She took both of his hands in hers. "I know, sweetie. I'm so sorry."

He nodded. "Ricky's with the angels now." Kate nodded. She believed that he was.

And then he smiled. "You wanna meet my friends?" Kate nodded, and he was off, introducing her to kids he rarely communicated with, as they gaped at him. Jack leaned against the wall, just watching them, a smile on his face. Tommy was like a different kid whenever he was here, or so they told him, and even more so with her. The boy loved her so much; it was clear to see. An idea started to turn in his mind, and he left it there to percolate as he just followed her with his eyes, noting the gentleness in her tone with the boy, even in her movements and actions. She was such a vibrant person, loud and excited at times, but she was so calm with him, knowing that was what he needed to feel secure. Tommy had taken her hand and was leading her on a tour, answering the questions she asked him ever so quietly, and finally they settled into the long sofa together, Tommy pressed up against her side as she read a book he had chosen, her arm lightly around his shoulders and her soft melodious voice washing over him.

Dr. Hanson stood with Jack, watching Tommy with Kate. She had come in for his daily session, but was more than willing to wait. She could see that he was happy, and that was rare. "It's amazing," she told Jack. "I have never seen him like this." She'd seen him relaxed and smiling with Jack, but he was even more so with Kate. He just smiled. He hoped that seeing the boy would help her as much as it helped him. She put on a good front, but her regular nightmares made it clear that she was still struggling.

When they finally left an hour later, he drove them to a nearby park and they sat together, not talking, just thinking, and watching children play as if they didn't have a care in the world.

Finally they went to eat, and talked of their future, making plans for her move. Jack would find them a house while they were gone, and it would hopefully be ready when she returned. Danny and Elena had taken the kids to Great Escape, in Queensbury, and he knew the amusement park would keep them busy all day. "How did you talk them into that?" she asked, and Jack shrugged. "They offered. It's good practice for them." He knew the newlyweds for trying for kids, that they wanted a full house.

When they finished eating, Jack took her hand and looked at her with a lascivious gleam in his eyes. "Ready to go home? We still have hours without kids." Kate gave him a sultry look. "I have some ideas."

The apartment was still quiet when they arrived. Kate didn't waste any time when they walked through the door. The urgency had been building in her since the restaurant, and she simply couldn't wait a second longer. She pushed him back against the door, kissing him passionately, her hands already under his shirt and roaming his chest. Jack moaned into her mouth, instantly hard for her as she teased his nipples and bit his lip. This woman made him feel eighteen again, always ready to go. His hunger matching hers in an instant, he ripped off her blouse and her bra, vaguely hoping they weren't too expensive as he heard something tear. He took her nipple in his teeth as she moaned loudly, swiping roughly with his tongue as his hands were already sliding up her smooth thighs under her skirt, a feral growl ripping from his chest as he found her ready for him, finding her panties soaked through just before he ripped them off of her.

He shoved two fingers into her as she groaned loudly and bit his neck, hard, almost convulsing with the overload of pleasure, and in a mindless haze he barely registered that she had managed to get his pants open before he was turning them both, pinning her to the door this time, and then he was hard and deep inside of her, pulling back just enough to memorize the way she looked like this, panting and desperate, as he slowly and seductively licked his fingers. That set her off again, and she clamped her hands over his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist as he begin to move inside her, kissing her hard and thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth.

Her head banged against the door but she didn't care. She was pretty sure her spine was taking some serious abuse right now, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but this man, making her feel wanton and primitive and so very alive, and the glorious sensations rocketing through every nerve ending of her body right now. He shifted his hold on her and shifted his hips suddenly, and the change in angle nearly made her scream. "Jack… Oh, God… you're gonna make me come like that," she growled in his ear, sucking his lobe into her mouth and digging her nails into his back as he thrust harder somehow, with his own growl of "_Come. Now_." And then she was exploding all around him, muscles clenching him hard, and he had no choice but to join her.

Panting for air, she could feel his heartbeat strong and fast against her own, which felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest, as they held each other tightly, finally sliding down the door until they were both flat on the floor, sweaty and breathless and laughing incredulously.

"That was amazing," Kate said as she looked at him lovingly, brushing the sweat off of his forehead. "You're such an animal."

Jack kissed her damp neck, scarcely able to move. "You bring it out of me," he whispered, amazed that he was able to talk at all. He hated like hell having to let her go home, but he trusted her to come back to him. Damn, he'd had more plans for today and she'd totally sidetracked him. In his rush to get her home he had totally forgotten that he'd meant to take her ring shopping today. Lifting his head with monumental effort, he looked at her hopefully. "Do you think after a shower you might be up for one more errant?"

Kate groaned. "No." But his eyes were so bright and excited that there was no way she could say no. She smiled at him and amended her answer. "Maybe."

TBC…

(Oops, I keep forgetting to put this at the end, but it will be continued. I will finish it, one way or another. We're not there, yet, still a ways to go. Oh yeah, and all my stories will have happy endings. My promise to you.)


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Not mine

Twenty Four

Jack's fiftieth birthday fell on Monday, and Kate and the kids were taking him out to dinner. Kate had called the office and invited his team to join them, but they were still on a case and couldn't get away. They sat in a huge booth at a noisy Italian restaurant not far from his building, where the staff knew him by name and the pizza was practically as big as the table. It was loud and festive, with all five kids talking at once, and they were almost finished eating when Jack looked up and saw his team striding in, straight from the job, complete with balloons and wrapped presents. Tables and chairs were pulled up, more pizza was ordered, and another bottle of merlot opened. As they sat talking around the table, Jack looked around at his family, all these people that he loved, and felt content. Kate caught his eye and smiled. He wondered if she knew how much this meant to him, and decided that she probably did. He picked up her hand, with his ring on it, the one that he'd picked out for her and that she'd protested was way too much, but he could tell she loved. It sparkled in the light, and the women noticed at once and exclaimed over it. Kate just looked at him and smiled that smile that he knew meant she loved him. It was probably too soon, but it didn't matter to him and he knew it didn't matter to her. Life was short.

One by one, the team began to leave, then Jack and Kate and the kids, until only Martin and Samantha sat at the big table. He picked up his wineglass and the last surviving bottle and crossed to her, refilling her glass and then searching her face. "Are you going to be all right?"

She noted that he hadn't asked if she was all right, and knew it was deliberate. She wasn't, but she would be. She looked at him. "Yeah."

"He's happy, Samantha. He's really happy."

"Yeah, I know." Her smile was just a little sad, just a little wistful.

"Are you?"

"Not really."

"You and Brian having problems?"

She pushed back her chair, stretched out her legs, and stared into her wineglass. Martin had been such a good friend to her, even after all that had happened. She didn't even blame him for the way he felt about her and Jack, that he couldn't accept their friendship. She wondered if they'd ever had a chance, and if it even mattered. "It's as good as over. He met someone. All that's left is to officially end it."

Martin just looked at her steadily. "What will you do?"

"I don't know. Be on my own for a while. Get my head on straight."

"You need anything, you'll let me know."

"Yeah, I will."

He didn't know what to say to her, so he stayed silent. She still called to him, on so many levels, and he wanted so badly to ask her to try again, with him, but now wasn't the time. So he just poured them another glass of wine, and stayed at the table, wondering if it ever would be.

Jack had been back at work three days now, and Kate and the boys had been gone for three days. It wasn't as hard this time, though, because he knew at the moment she was working on packing everything and getting the house ready to sell. He had an appointment with a realtor today to look at houses, and the girls were going with him. He looked up as his door opened, and smiled as Samantha came in and sat down. "Got a minute?"

"Sure." He laid down his pen and looked at her.

She just looked at him. "I need some advice."

He looked at her strangely. "On…"

"Brian's been sleeping with someone else."

He closed his eyes. He'd hoped for so long to hear those words from her, and now it was the last thing he wanted.

"I'm thinking…I think…I was wrong about him. Do you think there's a chance that…you and I…I know Kate's planning to move up and all, but…"

"But you want me to tell her never mind, because you want me back, not because you want me, but because things aren't working out with Brian?"

She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. "I'm a shallow, selfish human being."

He just looked at her. "I didn't say that."

"I love you. I've always loved you. We could make it work." She sounded so desperate that he almost smiled at her.

"That was always our problem. We were trying to make something work that wasn't meant to be. I'm not what you need, Sam. At one time, maybe, but not now. You need someone young and idealistic enough to build a life with. And I need…I need someone who doesn't take my shit. I've been on my own a long time. I'm stubborn, and I think I roll right over you sometimes. If you and Brian can't work things out, fine. I'll certainly help out with Finn; I'll be his favorite Uncle Jack. Hell, I'm sure that Kate and the kids would love to help out with the big guy. You'll be fine as a single mom. But you and I together isn't the answer."

"I'm sorry, Jack, I shouldn't have said anything. I just don't know what to do."

"It's okay. But you have to do what's best for you, and the big guy. Talk to Brian. See what he wants to do, and think about it. Don't make any decisions right now."

He handed her his handkerchief, and she smiled through her tears, because there weren't many men out there like him, and who even carried handkerchiefs anymore? She dried her eyes, and looked at him, and laughed a little. "I can't believe I'm asking _you_ for relationship advice."

Jack snorted. "Yeah, me neither. I won't tell anyone if you won't. Tell you what, why don't I pick up Finn after work and take him someplace, and you and Brian can have some time to talk."

"That would…that would be great. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Besides, I love that little guy. You know that. I miss him."

"I know you do."

"Good. Can we get back to work now?"

Samantha laughed. "Yes, I think that's a good idea." She looked back at him from the doorway. "Can we forget this conversation ever happened?"

His look was dry. "What conversation?"

That night, on the phone with Kate, he recounted the houses he and the girls had seen, making her laugh with how he'd explained Finn to the realtor. The only part he'd left out was Sam's proposition, and he told himself that was only because he'd known she wasn't serious.

In the bullpen, they all looked at each other. Vivian was out, as were Elena, Samantha, Danny and Martin. They all reached the same conclusion at the same time, and all eyes fell on Jack. His look was dry. Yes, he realized that he was the only possibility to step into the role of a middle-aged alcoholic gambler. "Thanks so much," he told them. Samantha would be the trailer-trash hooker looking for him because he owed her money. They would hang around a certain popular low-rent trailer park and stage a few brawls in the hopes of generating some interest.

Samantha hurried into the locker room to change. She knew that Jack had gone home to change and shave, and was probably on his way back by now. She wanted to be out of his way by the time he returned. Yes, they used to occupy the locker room together even when they weren't together, but she thought it would be awkward now. At least for her.

It was a bad place to be—he was no longer aware of her as a woman, it seemed, and suddenly she was profoundly aware of him as a man once again. She needed to shut it off, she knew, and get back to where they were when they were just friends. Suddenly she couldn't think of a time when she hadn't wanted him. Had there ever been such a time? She had no idea how to get to such a place, if such a place even existed for her. It seemed a long way there from here. Her heart thudded in her chest as she opened the door and caught a glimpse of a broad, muscled male back, the arms and head covered momentarily by his shirt as he pulled it over his head. She slumped in relief. It wasn't him. Couldn't be. This guy was way too much muscle. Interest simmered in her, and then his shirt flowed over very nice biceps and she saw his tattoos. By the time the shirt was over his head and he had heard her and was turning in her direction, shock had ricocheted through her body with the force of a freight train. He saw her and grinned as he pulled the specially doctored white wife-beater over his head, grimacing at the smell. She was speechless at the way it hugged his chest and showcased his newly-discovered muscles.

"I don't want to hear one complaint on your assignment," he told her conversationally, without the faintest trace of awkwardness, as she tried not to swallow her tongue at the sight of all those muscles rippling. Where in the hell had those come from? He had shaved off the beard he'd grown out for Kate, because she found it unbearably sexy, as she'd confessed to Samantha in what may very well had been TMI. But he'd left just enough stubble to make him look disreputable, and Samantha had to admit that she concurred completely with Kate's opinion. He had slicked back his hair, and he messed it up now, then pulled on a ratty plaid shirt, leaving it hanging open, and began to roll the sleeves up hard forearms as she tried to force herself to act natural.

Luckily for her, he was lacing up scuffed work boots and striding out of the locker room before she'd even shrugged out of her jacket. "See you at the trailer park," he called over his shoulder.

She was happy for him, she told herself. She was glad he was finally done moping over her and getting on to putting his life back together. Wasn't she?

The door opened again, and Jack was back, looking sheepish. "Forgot my phone," he said, picking it up from where he'd left it on the bench, just as it began to buzz, and he smiled. "Had to let Kate know I'd be out of pocket for a while." He read her response, smiled, and left again, and Samantha was left to wonder how long it would take until she was no longer affected by this man.

It was late when Jack let himself into his apartment. He checked on Hanna, relieved to find that she was safely in bed asleep. He looked at the clock, thought about calling Kate, and texted her instead. He didn't want to wake her, and if she was awake, she'd call him back. A hot shower went a long way to revive him from the day. People did horrific things to each other, and he was glad this case was over. These people definitely deserved what was coming to them, all but the young woman who'd been caught in the crossfire, and had paid with her life. Nothing he did would bring her back. He thought of Samantha, and the look on her face when they'd both realized at the same time that the information they'd worked so hard to obtain was too little, too late. There was no bringing that girl back. Both of them would have to live with that.

They'd gotten the information they'd needed, but the role-playing had taken them just a little too much farther into the past than they'd wanted to go. Playing lecherous Bud West, ogling Samantha and even kissing her to make it look real had jerked him hard into the past, and his arousal hadn't been part of the plan. The attraction was still there, as much as they tried to deny it, douse it, bury it and walk away. The fact that they hadn't acted on it, or even acknowledged it, didn't make him feel any less guilty.

Lying in bed in his pajama bottoms, staring at the ceiling as if the answers for his life were to be found there, the buzz of his phone startled him. He looked at the screen and saw her smiling face. _Kate._

He answered it with a smile in his voice. "Hi," he said, and his voice gave her goose bumps.

"Hi," she said, on a long sigh so filled with longing that it instantly grounded him, bringing him back from the dark place he'd been. "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay, but this day…I'm glad it's over. We got them, but the girl was already dead."

She was silent, and he knew she was absorbing it, knew that she was thinking of some family she didn't even know getting the news that they'd never see their child again. "I'm so sorry," she said finally, a mere whisper, and somehow it felt better to know that she understood, and cared.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked in her offhanded way, as if she was asking if he wanted her to pick up milk from the store. In the past, it would have been the last thing he would have wanted, and he would have shrugged it off. Now, though, suddenly things seemed different.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah. I think I would."

TBC...


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Not mine

Twenty Five

Kate smiled at her computer screen. Jack had sent her pictures of the houses he had seen, as well as links to their online listings, and she found that she totally agreed with his opinions. The last house he'd seen was perfect. She studied the rooms again, and then she closed her eyes. She could see them there, as a family, she and Jack, her boys and his girls, and it didn't terrify her. It felt _right._

She took out her phone, texted him a message. _It's the one._

In New York, Jack got her message and smiled. He looked up at the real estate agent who was awaiting his decision. "I want to make an offer today," he said, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years.

Kate had never seen so many boxes in her life. She directed the movers while keeping one eye on the people milling around her yard, snapping up so many pieces of her life like hungry fish. Her washer and dryer, her sofas, her heavy oak bedroom furniture, even the clunky old TV set. Tomorrow they'd get in the car and drive thousands of miles to their new home. She almost pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming; everything had happened so fast that it seemed surreal. As a concession to Jack's worrying, she had traded in her half-dead car for a sleek nearly-new SUV. It sat waiting at the curb now, a rented U-haul trailer attached to it already loaded up with her prized Harley.

In New York, Jack alternated between unpacking boxes in the new house and pacing. He knew Kate and the boys had driven halfway and stopped for the night, because he'd already talked to them. They would leave at dawn, and drive all day again, and he was just so nervous, even as he knew he was being paranoid and irrational. They'd be fine. Kate had been taking care of herself for a long time; he knew she'd be fine. And still he worried.

There was a knock on the door, and he sighed and went to open it. Samantha stood there, with Finn, who immediately launched himself into Jack's arms. Jack took him with a laugh, kissing his soft cheek, as Samantha pushed past him, followed by Martin, Vivian, Elena and Danny.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

"Thought you could use some help," Martin said, as he tossed off his jacket and tie and rolled up his sleeves before heading for the nearest stack of boxes. Elena sat down the huge sack she'd brought and started pulling out cartons of food.

"We brought dinner," she said with a smile.

Samantha stopped in front of him. "We didn't want you to be alone tonight," she said quietly.

"I appreciate that, but I'm fine." All of them stopped at that and looked at him, hard, until he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, I'm going out of my mind. I'm worried about her, okay?"

Danny said it best. "Well, duh."

Vivian smiled at him. "We're here to help. You could just say 'thank you' and be done with it."

He looked at her. "Thank you."

They all looked up as Hanna's footsteps pounded on the stairs. She grinned when she saw them. "Oh, thank God! I thought I'd have to stay locked in my room all night!" They laughed, and sat down to eat at various places in the still-furniture-free room. Samantha put on music and Hanna danced with Finn while they all laughed.

Hours later, boxes unpacked and food demolished, Jack went to pick up a sleeping Finn from the couch when Martin stopped him. "It's okay, I got him," he said, lifting the little boy effortlessly over his shoulder. He clapped Jack on the back. "It's a great house, Jack. Now you're ready for her."

"Thanks for the help. I'll see you tomorrow."

Samantha followed Martin out the door. "'Night, Jack."

"Good night." He wondered about them, watching from the doorway as Martin carefully laid Finn into his car seat and stopped to talk to Samantha at her door. He wasn't going to say a word, he told himself. He'd been an ass when the two of them had been together. It wasn't one of his proudest moments. If they found their way to each other again, he vowed to do better. And if they didn't, he still vowed to do better.

At her car, Samantha looked up at Martin as he closed Finn's door and walked around to her side. There was something different about him lately, and she wondered where his head was these days. He had been so angry at her when he'd broken things off, and their friendship had suffered for it. Now, it was like things had always been. He searched her face. "Are you okay?

She just looked at him with a smile, shaking her head. "I'm fine, Martin. You can stop worrying about me. I'm totally okay with everything."

He nodded. "Okay. How's Brian?"

"I suppose he's fine. Haven't seen him since he moved out a couple of days ago."

"He hasn't been back to see Finn?"

She shook her head again, looking away. Brian had been a mistake from the beginning. She could never regret having Finn, but she hoped to get to the point in her life where she'd never have to talk about Brian again. Every time his name came up, she just felt so stupid.

He didn't say anything else, didn't make any platitudes about how she was better off, and she was glad. "Do me a favor, this time. Ask for help, if you need it."

She snorted, knowing exactly what he was talking about and beyond thankful that he was too much of a gentleman to come right out and say it. "I will." He looked at her dubiously and she laughed. "Really. I will. Good night, Martin." She pushed lightly on his chest until he stepped out of her way with a smile.

"Good night."

Kate and the boys took off at 4:30 in the morning and made it to New York State late in the afternoon. It wasn't long after that that she was getting close to the coordinates of their new house on her GPS. Butterflies that she didn't even know were there launched themselves suddenly to violent life in her stomach, and she sighed loudly. She had nothing to be nervous about, she told herself firmly. This was going to be a new life for all of them. She texted Jack to let hew know they were close, and his answer came right back to her. He was waiting for her. She pictured him in her mind, and it went a long way toward quelling her ridiculous anxiety. She really did love him more than she'd ever thought possible. They wanted to get married as soon as they could, Friday at the latest, and as it was Tuesday, she thought it was entirely possible that she was insane.

Pulling into the long driveway finally, she gaped at the house Jack had found. How can we even afford this? she wondered. It was beautiful, set far back from the street on what had to be half an acre at least. There were neighboring houses, but their space was huge. It was an unbelievably lovely house, old but obviously well-kept, two stories but simple, with clean lines that appealed to her. There was a long wraparound porch and she could see him sitting there in the porch swing, and had a sudden flash of the two of them there in the evenings, talking together after a long day, or waiting for one of their kids to come home from a date. He met her in the driveway, coming around to her side while she could do nothing but sit there, spellbound. Her reaction amused him, and he felt a deep satisfaction for getting it right. He thought he knew her well enough to deduce that a brand-new cookie-cutter house smashed between a dozen others just like it wouldn't have been her thing. The character of this one had appealed to him, and he'd thought immediately that she would love it. He'd shown her pictures, but he knew that they didn't do it justice, and he knew that right now she could see them here as he did, living and loving and growing old together.

Her eyes shining, they met his, and she smiled. It was perfect. He was perfect. Getting out of the driver's seat slowly, listening to the boys' excited exclamations as they ran across the yard and into their new house, she walked straight into his arms, sealing the deal with a kiss. They were home.

TBC...


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: I apologize in advance for this chapter. I was really stuck and I think this is a boring filler chapter, but I wanted to push on. If anyone has any constructive ideas on how I can make it suck less, I'm all ears.

Twenty Six

"Do you like it?" Jack asked Kate. They were finally lying in bed together, after a long slow tour, a long slow unpacking session and stowing the bike, and a short and sweet getting reacquainted session in the shower that left them both lazy and satisfied. Kate lifted her face to look at him from the awkward angle where her head was resting on his chest.

"I don't think 'like' is a strong enough word for how I feel about this house. I don't think there is a strong enough word for how I feel about this house."

Jack smirked, feeling very satisfied with himself right now.

The next day, Jack and Samantha had just wrapped up an interview and were on the road when Kate texted him that she was at the courthouse, and did he have time to come by and go in with her to fill out the marriage license? She wanted to do it now so they could get married on Friday. Jack had a friend who was a nondenominational minister and had already spoken with him; Friday night was a go.

He looked over at Samantha, filling her in. "Do you mind?"

She shook her head. "We're at a dead end on this anyway, for now. It's a good time."

Once the paperwork was completed, the three of them stood on the steps. "I bet it's good to finally be here and moved in," Samantha told Kate sympathetically, and Kate rolled her eyes. "You have no idea. I have so much to do before Friday and I have no idea where to start. I have to find some flowers, food…" She shook her head. "I need to start a list."

Samantha looked thoughtful. "I know a place where you could get the flowers on short notice. They do really good work. As for the food…" She looked at Kate to find her staring like she'd just offered her a million dollars in unmarked bills.

"That would be a lifesaver. Could you make me a list now? I'd like to see them while I'm here today."

Samantha looked at Jack. "Well, it's about lunch time anyway. Could I take my lunch now, and help Kate get some of these things squared away?" She almost laughed out loud at the blatant expression of unease on his face. It was comical.

"Oh please, oh please, oh please!" Kate begged him, and finally he laughed and shrugged.

"I have no chance when the two of you gang up on me like that," he grumbled, and then brightened, looking at his fiancé speculatively, taking in her jeans and sneakers. He knew that she rarely wore anything more than sundresses or shorts when it was this hot. "What vehicle did you bring?" As if he didn't know.

"The bike, of course. I came alone!" Duh. "It was a great ride in." But then she caught his meaning, and the reason for this line of questioning. She looked at Samantha. "If we need to drive anywhere, do you mind the bike?" She gestured to where she'd parked the Harley, and Samantha's eyes gleamed with mirth. "Not at all." Ha, take that, Malone. Now he was really looking worried, and Kate kissed him. "Thanks for the loan of your agent. I'll be sure to get her back as soon as I can."

Jack walked back to the car alone, positive that this was going to turn out to be a really bad idea. At least for him.

The florist had been a success. They had quickly found a caterer as well, a restaurant that the team frequented, and the owners were happy to accommodate Agent Malone's wedding. Now they sat on a bench in the shade, eating hot dogs from a cart. The silence was comfortable, and Kate realized that it had been fun shopping with Samantha. They had even stopped at a small boutique and found a beautiful dress for a reasonable price.

Kate looked over at Samantha. "Thanks for all your help today. I wouldn't have had a clue without you."

Samantha smiled. "It was fun," she said without thinking, realizing that it was true. She had very few friends outside of work these days, and it was kind of nice to have a girlfriend again. Weird that it was Jack's soon-to-be wife, but nice nonetheless.

As if she'd read her mind, Kate asked, "Should this be weird?"

Samantha laughed. "Probably, but it's not. I like your company," she said honestly. "Driving Jack insane is just a happy bonus."

Kate laughed at that. "Yeah, he looked pretty nervous."

Samantha looked at her. "I'm glad you're okay with us still working together, with us still being friends."

Kate shrugged. "Honestly, I feel better knowing that you're there, watching his back. You're good at what you do, and if it means he'll come home to me safely, I'm happy. I'm glad he had you," she said quietly. "He hasn't had a lot of people in his corner, and I'm glad you were there for him all the times that he needed you," she said honestly. Samantha looked at her in surprise. There were not too many people who could say a thing like that, and mean it. She could tell that Kate meant it. "Oh, I know that he still went through a lot, and I know that things weren't always easy for the two of you," she said quickly. "But I'm still glad he had you. I'm glad he has you, as a friend. You can never get enough true friends."

"I know I shouldn't like you," Samantha said with a grin, "but to hell with it, because I do."

Kate laughed. "Same here. Do you have a dress?" she asked, referring to the wedding like it was a foregone conclusion that Samantha would be in attendance, and at that moment she decided she wouldn't be able to stay away. "I have a couple I could wear, but I could always use another one."

"So, tomorrow, round two, same time, same place?"

Samantha laughed again. You just couldn't not like this woman, she decided. It was an impossible endeavor, and she'd already given up trying. "Sounds good to me."

They'd finished, and Kate rose from the bench. "I'll bet you twenty bucks that man hasn't eaten yet. Let me get something for him and we'll be on our way."

"Yeah, no way I'm taking that bet," Samantha shot back. "I know he hasn't."

They went back to the hot dog cart, and Kate frowned. "Damn, I don't know what he likes on his hot dogs." And Samantha just smiled. "But I do."

Kate knocked on Hanna's door. When the girl opened the door warily, Kate made her most pitiful face. "I need a favor, pleeeeeeeeeease?" Hanna rolled her eyes and went back in and flopped onto her bed. Having Kate here and home during the days was like having two cops for parents instead of just one. Her dad may be constantly tracking her via GPS, but this woman was a walking, talking cheerfulinator. It was irritating, because she was too cool. You just couldn't hate her no matter what. She hated being kept constant track of, she hated the constant cheerfulness, and she hated the fact that she had to go to summer school. She watched Kate as she sat down next to her on the bed. "Do you have an iPod?" she asked the girl, to which Hanna rolled her eyes. "Of course."

"Great. I got one for your dad for a wedding present and I wanted to see if you would help me program it with all of his favorite songs, and also some songs we can dance to at the wedding. I got a speaker system to go with it and since we're having it here, I thought you could make a wedding playlist and that will serve as our DJ." Hanna rolled her eyes again.

"All of Dad's music is on vinyl. It'll be impossible to get those songs on there. Unless I download them illegally." Hanna grinned evilly, and Kate handed her an iTunes card.

"Taken care of. There should be enough here to download plenty of songs—legally—as well as whatever you'd like on your own iPod as well. Payment for services rendered."

Hanna narrowed her eyes. "That will take forever."

Kate smiled sweetly. "You have two days. We'll need them Friday night for the wedding."

Hanna shrugged, but the wheels were already turning. Some of those songs were so old that she could probably find them somewhere for free… it would be a challenge, at least. The more she got for free, the more there would be to keep for herself. "Okay."

Kate smiled again. "Thank you."

Thursday passed in a blur of unpacking and house cleaning. Maria sent Kate up on the plane for the wedding, which Kate Senior, as the boys had begun calling her, thought was pretty magnanimous, which she was only able to think, Jack mused, because she hadn't ever met the woman. Magnanimous wasn't anywhere in her repertoire. But it was nice having his daughters around so much, so he really wasn't able to complain. He had enlisted pretty much all of his team to take turns coming to stay with the kids at night so that he could take Kate on a proper honeymoon. He knew she had never been to Niagara Falls, and thought she'd like it, so he'd made the plans without telling her and hoped to surprise her when they got there. That, and her wedding present, which he really hoped wasn't going too far, which, let's face it, he thought wryly, he was known to do. He had thought a lot about it, and this was the gesture he wanted to make to her on the day he promised himself to her. But he didn't trust his own judgment most of the time in matters like this, so he wasn't quite sure how it was going to be received.

Hanna had finished with her project and brought it to Kate that evening, a smug smirk on her face. Checking the songs, and even listening to the ones that were unfamiliar to her, Kate was unreasonably bowled over by the girl's wit. Hanna had managed to find a surprising number of Jack's favorites, or what she hoped were his favorites. She had put in a lot of beautiful love songs, as well, for the wedding itself, and Kate was touched that so many of them said perfectly all of the things that were often so difficult to say to each other. She took the iPod out into the dark wilderness of their new back yard to listen to them. Some of them were so haunting that she soon had to wipe away her tears. And then there were some songs by young teen stars that it were so far from Jack's tastes that it was clear they were put there simply to annoy her father, and it made her smile. One of them made her laugh, because she knew he would hate it, but the words were very true to her.

I'm missing you so much, can't help it I'm in love

A day without you is like a year without rain

I need you by my side, don't know how I'll survive

A day without you is like a year without rain

As she listened to the singer stretch "rain" out to about fifteen syllables, she laughed so hard she cried, picturing his face if he was forced to dance at the wedding to this, or even listen to it. And yet, somehow, all those over exaggerated teenaged declarations seemed perfectly appropriate. He made her feel more young and hopeful than she'd felt in a long, long while. Still smiling, she went back in the house to thank her stepdaughter for a job well done.

Selena Gomez & the Scene, A Year Without Rain


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Characters and songs in this chapter do not belong to me. Kate, her children, and the outlandish notion that the character of Jack Malone can be happy are mine, all mine.

A/N: Thanks for reading and for your encouragement to continue. Apparently my muse responds to that. :) This just popped up today and wrote itself. Hope you like!

Twenty Seven

When Kate woke on her wedding day, it was to Jack very close, watching her sleep with his head propped up on one arm. She smiled, running her hand over his rough cheek. "Good morning," she told him, stretching up for a kiss. She thought she could look at him just like this, rumpled and happy and stretched out so very gorgeously next to her, forever.

"Good morning, yourself, beautiful." He kissed her long and slow, pressing her into the mattress with his body, wanting to tease her a little, since they had decided last night that they'd wait until they were married before having each other again. Which might not seem like such a big sacrifice, since it was only a day, but it still was, because they would both be here together all day, and they had learned to make the most of their un-kid-interrupted time together. He thought that they had gotten very Pavlovian now: the second their kids left the house or became busy with something, they were instantly all over each other, no matter what they'd been doing, or where they were. He thought that just the waiting one day would probably make tonight especially explosive, and he couldn't wait.

He had taken today off to help her pack and get ready for the wedding tonight, which would be here at the house, with their family and friends. It was Friday night, and after the wedding the kids were going to go spend the weekend with Danny and Elena. He and Kate would have the house to themselves, and in the morning they'd leave for their honeymoon. They didn't feel the slightest bit guilty not taking the kids, since they'd had lots of family vacation time lately, and were looking forward to some alone time. They had had so little of it, and didn't mind, but this would be nice. Different.

She pushed at the solid wall of his chest, with little effect, as she tried to squirm away from the pressure of his hips on hers. He grinned at her smugly, pinning her to the bed both with his hips and his hands around her wrists, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "I know what you're doing, Malone, and it's not going to work." He laughed, leaning in to rub his stubble-roughened chin against the soft exposed skin of her collarbone, then her throat, knowing exactly what that did to her, as she moaned helplessly, flexing her hands where they were pinned, trying to use her own leverage against him, but he was simply too strong.

"Oh, I don't know, I think it's working pretty well," he told her with a smirk in that rough early-morning voice that he knew damn well made her hot for him. She smirked and changed her tack, her tongue darting out to taste the base of his throat, and he groaned and released her instantly. He had no defenses against that tongue, and they both knew it. "Game, set and match," he told her with a grin. He looked at her hopefully. "Hey, I have a wedding present for you. I'd like to give it to you now."

Kate smiled. "I have one for you, too." They decided it would be mutually beneficial to get out of bed to eliminate the temptation—ha, ha—and agreed to meet on the front porch with coffee. Once out there, she handed him the little iPod and grinned while he looked it over dubiously. He still had his Walkman from the eighties that he used for his runs, and Kate and the kids teased him endlessly. He still had his record collection and his record player, and Hanna's taunts that soon it would break and there wouldn't be any parts available to fix it had cut him deep. He knew that eventually it would happen, but he wasn't ready.

"So now you want to change me," he tossed out, and she smiled. "Just try it." His assertion that the sound quality wasn't as good as his vinyl was about to go down, and she pulled out the speaker dock she'd bought him, plugging it in. He was amazed at the selection programmed there, and just shook his head in amazement. "This is incredible," he finally said. "How did you find the time to do this?"

Kate grinned. "I cheated. I had an idea of some of them, but I enlisted Hanna's help. She took care of the rest." She looked so pleased with herself that he felt a pang in his chest, in the place he was pretty sure his heart resided. She was reaching out to his prickly, obstinate daughter that even her own mother couldn't stand most of the time. That was the best gift he could have received. She loved him, and his daughters, unconditionally, without question. Every time he played a song it would remind him of that. Pulling her close, he kissed her. "I love you. Thank you."

She smiled. "I love you, too."

Jack held her eyes as he took the letter-sized manila envelope from behind his back. "Okay, if you could just keep in mind the spirit in which I'm making this gesture. You don't have to decide right now. No pressure. I will leave it up to you. But I love you, and I'm giving this to you. What you do with it is totally up to you, but I'm all in." He took a deep breath, and handed it to her.

She looked at him askance, a little thrown by that delivery. Reaching inside, she pulled out a thin sheaf of papers, almost dropping them when she realized what they were. Her eyes instantly filled with tears. "Jack, you can't be serious." But beyond her shock he could see that she was incredibly moved, and he knew that he'd accomplished what he'd set out to do, whatever she decided. "Well?" he asked gently. "Do you think this is something you'd want to do?"

She stared at the sheet on top, unable to form words, and he laughed. Kate Janoreski, speechless. That was something he never thought he'd see, much less accomplish. And she'd be Kate Malone in just a few hours.

She looked at him and began to laugh, the tears falling helplessly and tracking down her cheeks as she looked at him. It was a petition for adoption for Tommy, filled out and waiting for her signature, in the name of Katharine Malone. His was underneath, already completed. "Jack, do you know what you're saying? This will turn our lives upside down."

He had to laugh at that. Their lives were _always _upside down. He had to say he was used to it by now. He scooted closer and pulled her into his arms. "That little boy loves you and you love him. Anyone can see that. He's even pretty fond of me by proxy. He couldn't make it in any of the foster homes that were chosen specifically because they knew how to handle kids with rough starts. He couldn't bring himself to trust any of them, but he already trusts both of us. I want him to be yours, Katie. I want him to be ours, if that's what you want. We can do this, together. I've already talked to a friend in child services, as well as his therapists, and they all think it's a slam dunk."

"This won't be easy," she warned him. "And if I don't beat this cancer, you'll be stuck with six kids." She hated like hell to say it so bluntly, but she had never lied to him, and he had to face their reality.

He put his hand over her mouth quickly. "Don't say that. I don't believe that will happen, _ever_. And if it does, I'll just move Samantha in," he said with a wicked grin that told her he was teasing, but she smacked him hard anyways.

"Don't you dare say that! You're horrible!" He laughed and rubbed his arm. "I was kidding, sweetheart!"

Growing serious, he held her tightly. "I want to do what makes both of us happy today, Katie. You taught me that. I want that little boy to be our son."

She looked in his eyes and knew he was serious, and loved him more than she could have believed in that moment. "Okay," she whispered. "I'd love to raise him with you. I love you."

He held her close. "I love you, too."

Kate growled at her mirror, wishing she could drink something that would slay those butterflies now dancing in her stomach. She _wasn't_ nervous. She wasn't! She couldn't think of anything she wanted more than to marry this man. So why was she nervous? Her hair looked like crap, which was disheartening, since there really wasn't much to even do anything with. She had scared off Jack and the kids half an hour ago, and she wished now that she had a mother, a sister, a friend, _anyone_ to help her with this. Hell, their guests would be here soon. Maybe she could ask Elena to help her with her hair and makeup. She sighed, startling at a knock on the door.

It was Samantha. "Hey," she said with a smile. "I heard you were having technical difficulties. Can I help?"

Kate's smile was relieved and genuine. "Oh thank God. I'm going out of my mind."

Samantha smiled. "Sit down. I'll take over."

Kate watched the other woman's hands deftly apply the makeup that had been confounding her, after gently wiping off her mistakes with cold cream. It reminded her of something she needed to say.

"Listen," she said. "I wanted to ask you for a favor."

Samantha smiled, concentrating on her work. "You can ask."

Kate swallowed. "If anything happens to me… this cancer…" Samantha ceased her efforts and glared at her in the mirror. "Don't say that. Don't even think it," she all but growled. This woman was Jack's last chance at happiness. He'd be lost without her.

"I have to. I'm going to fight, you know that, but I have to be realistic. If anything happens to me, I want you to take care of Jack and the kids." Samantha shook her head vehemently, and Kate smiled. "I didn't mean like that," she said dryly. "But if I'm no longer here, you have my blessing. I really meant to just watch over him, help him with the kids, that kind of thing. But if it became more… well, as long as it isn't while I'm still drawing breath, because then I'd have to kill you."

Samantha took a deep breath, meeting Kate's eyes in the mirror. "I wouldn't do that to you," she said quietly. She shouldn't have done it the first time. Not that she gave a flying fuck about Maria's feelings, when the woman herself had never cared much for his. But it was different with Kate. Kate loved him deeply, and the kids… Her only regret was that their actions had hurt his daughters, and she knew now that she'd never be able to forgive herself for that. She went back to Kate's makeup, applying it carefully and arranging her very short hair artfully with spray gel. "I'll watch over them," she finally said quietly. "You have my word." And she stepped back to admire her handiwork. Kate looked stunning in her long, sleeveless dove-grey sheath that left most of her back bare. She was ready.

Kate stood and looked at her reflection. She met Samantha's eyes in the mirror. "Thank you," she said, not just for the makeover. She had to know her family would be okay without her. She couldn't bear to think of leaving them lost and alone.

Samantha smiled. "You're welcome."

Jack looked up when Samantha came out, smiling. "We're good to go," she told him with a warm smile. Everyone was in place, and the music began. They hadn't wanted anything fancy or formal, and she'd said she'd be willing to do it at a courthouse in front of a judge, but he hadn't wanted that for her. He watched her walk out of their house into the back yard, his eyes glued to her. She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The way she walked, the way she moved, the way she held herself… he was so beyond thankful that she was his. Her eyes met his as she walked confidently to meet him, so much love in her eyes that he almost broke down at that moment. And he wasn't a crier. But just seeing her like this, so hopeful, so brave… he really hoped that he'd be able to fight past the lump in his throat to find his voice when the time came.

Walking out to join him, all she could see was him. He looked absolutely sublime in his black suit, snow-white shirt, grey vest with black pinstripes, and black tie. He had shaved off his scruff this morning, and while she liked that look on him, very much, he looked devastatingly handsome right now, the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. She was reminded of the first time she saw him, and how her heart had been instantly in her throat. She felt the same way now. She was vaguely aware of the team as she walked straight toward him, smiling fondly, and his girls looking beautiful in new dresses, and her boys looking adorable in their dark suits, but honestly, right now, Jack Malone waiting to become her husband was the only thing she saw. Coming close, finally, he held out his hand to her, and she took it, smiling warmly into his beautiful brown eyes. This man was hers. She still couldn't believe it.

They barely heard the words, and would later have no idea how they'd managed to answer coherently in the right places. All they knew was they were pronounced man and wife, Mr. and Mrs. John Michael Malone, and finally their lips met in a soft, sweet kiss, so reminiscent of their first kiss on the day they met. Vaguely they registered the clapping and laughter and congratulations, still lost in each other, still unable to believe that it was possible to be this happy.

The sun was setting as they drank champagne and toasts were made, and then the music started and Jack took Kate in his arms to the strains of "Just the Way You Are." He held her close with a little smile on his face, listening to the words as he let the sensation of her skin on his soak in and simmer.

Don't go changing, to try and please me, you've never let me down before.

Don't imagine you're too familiar, and I don't see you anymore.

I would not leave you in times of trouble; we never could have come this far.

I took the good times, I'll take the bad times, I take you just the way you are.

Don't go trying some new fashion. Don't change the color of your hair.

You always have my unspoken passion, although I might not seem to care.

I don't want clever conversation; I never want to work that hard.

I just want someone that I can talk to; I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be the same old someone that I knew.

What will it take 'til you believe in me the way that I believe in you?

I said I love you and that's forever and this I promise from the heart:

I could not love you any better; I love you just the way you are.

"That is a very appropriate song, Mrs. Malone," he told her when it was over, and she just smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. It was as much of a surprise to her as it was to him. She had given Hanna carte blanche, and the girl hadn't let her down. The next song brought tears to her eyes.

At this point in my life, I've done so many things wrong… I don't know if I can do right.

Put your trust in me, hope I won't let you down. If you give me a chance, I'll try.

You see it's been a hard road, the road I'm traveling on.

If I take your hand, I might lead you down the path to ruin.

I've had a hard life, I'm just saying so you'll understand that right now,

right now, I'm doing the best that I can, at this point in my life.

At this point in my life, although I've mostly walked in the shadows, I'm still searching for the light.

Won't you put your faith in my, we both know that's what matters.

If you give me a chance, I'll try.

You see, I've been climbing stairs, but mostly stumbling down.

I've been reaching high but always losing ground.

You see I've conquered hills, but I still have mountains to climb.

Right now, right now, I'm doing the best I can, at this point in my life.

Before we take this step, before we walk down that path, before I make any promises,

Before you have regrets, before we talk commitments, let me tell you of my past,

What I've seen, what I've done, things I'd like to forget, at this point in my life.

At this point in my life, I'd like to live as if only love mattered, as if redemption was in sight.

As if the search to live honestly is all that anyone needs, no matter if you find it.

You see, when I've touched the sky, earth's gravity has pulled me down,

But now I've reconciled that in this world, birds and angels get the wings to fly.

You can believe in this heart of mine, if you can give it a try,

then I'll reach inside and find and give you all the sweetness that I have, at this point in my life.

Kate was surprised that Hanna had chosen this song, but it was more applicable than she might know. Trying her best to hold back tears, she looked up at him. "You didn't choose these, did you?" he asked and she smiled. "I told Hanna to surprise me."

He looked at her. "You're such a trusting soul." She just smiled.

Jack shook his head. "I can't believe you put our wedding music in Hanna's hands. She could have humiliated us both." Kate just smiled, and leaned into him as the song changed to "Everything." He smiled. "Okay, I concede the point."

By the time "Feeling Good" began to play, he was shaking his head again. "Okay, this girl's going to have us dancing all night." As the beat picked up, so did the movement of Kate's hips, peaking his interest. "That's…" And then all he could see in his mind was Kate doing a very sexy striptease to this song, moving her hips just like that. He put his hands on her hips, doing his best to move with her as she laughed. He watched her with dark eyes, until he couldn't take it anymore. Glancing around them, he realized that no one was paying any attention to them, and took her hand, quickly leading her to a deserted part of the yard away from prying eyes, and proceeded to kiss the hell out of her.

Kate was similarly hot and bothered. She knew damn well he'd been undressing her with his eyes, and it made her want him badly. She ran her hands all over his body, then down to caress the very prominent bulge he was now sporting. Groaning, he leaned back against the house as she stroked him through his pants, smirking deviously. "You really liked that song, didn't you?" she asked, unnecessarily, he thought. It was clear what he thought of that song.

"Hmmm… is all of that on my iPod?" he asked, and when she nodded, he was the one to smirk. "I may have to play it again later, once everyone's gone home. Maybe take some pictures."

Kate smiled seductively. "I'm definitely going to want some pictures of you dressed like that," she said. "And taking it off, piece by piece." And she kissed him again.

Only the kids calling for them were able to draw them away from each other, and they ate and drank and laughed with their family and friends as more particularly applicable songs played in the background. After the cake was cut and enjoyed, the evening passed quickly until they were hugging the kids and receiving well wishes, and then everyone was gone.

Jack and Kate stood on the front porch watching them go, and then looked at each other. "Which rooms of this house do we still need to christen, Mrs. Malone?" he asked her seductively, in that extremely sexy voice she loved. _Mrs. Malone_. She thought she'd never tire of hearing that. She whipped out her iPhone and started taking pictures of him, knowing that clothing was going to start coming off any minute. She reached for his jacket, slid it slowly off his shoulders, and took a picture of him like that, then started unknotting his tie. "I think we should go in the house if you're going to be undressing me," he remarked, and Kate smiled. "Better hurry." In the house, he took some pictures of his own, both before and after that lovely dress hit the floor.

As she made good on her promise to help him christen every room of the house, she felt the new weight of the ring on her finger and felt immeasurably blessed.

TBC…

"Just the Way You Are," Billy Joel

"At This Point in my Life," Tracy Chapman

"Everything," Michael Buble

"Feeling Good," Michael Buble


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: This chapter is just a little bit M. Not much.

Twenty eight

It was still early when Jack woke, and he smiled to himself. It was a brand new day, the second of his vacation, the first of his honeymoon and the first as in a long time as a married man. He looked at the plain gold band on his finger and shook his head. He had never thought he would marry again, but he was glad he had. He was tired of living with so many regrets, and he was happy with his life now. He was so glad he was here, now, married to Kate and living in a noisy busy house. All they needed now was a dog, he thought to himself with a laugh.

And it was way too quiet right now. He pulled on a pair of boxers and went in search of his wife, smirking at the realization that they hadn't bothered with pajamas last night, since the kids were gone. It had come in handy. He realized that it was going to be a great many years before they'd be able to do that on a regular basis, and he found that ironic, at his age. Rusty was still young, and now they were going to have Tommy to think about, both of them around the same age. He had to smile. There was no way you could not love Rusty; it was impossible. He was the happiest kid Jack had ever met, and he knew Tommy would love him. He would love all of his new brothers and sisters, but he thought Tommy and Rusty would be especially close. Rusty was an old soul, so kind and compassionate and steady and optimistic. He would be really good for Tommy. He hoped they all would be. He had faxed in their petition and would have an answer by the time they returned home, but he had no doubt they would be approved.

He found Kate soaking in a hot bath, covered by bubbles, and she smiled when she heard the door open, not even opening her eyes. So many things to do today, and she'd just wanted to unwind for just a little while. She loved the direction her life had taken. She was excited by all of the new challenges opening up before her, but they were daunting sometimes. She opened one eye as she felt the water ripple as he slid in opposite her, his legs sliding against hers, warm and welcome, and closed it again as he picked up one of her feet and began to rub. God, he was so good at this it should be illegal. She found this side of him so sexy, the side of him no one ever got to see, the tender, loving part of him that had been so long buried. She loved that he let her see him like this, that he let her in completely.

"Good morning, Mrs. Malone," he told her, and smiled at the way it sounded. He had never thought he would say that again in his life. Never thought he'd want to. With her it felt right. He released her foot under the water, enjoying her soft sighs of pleasure, and reached for the other one. When he dug in his fingers, she moaned loudly, and didn't that sound just change the game completely. He rubbed it for a while and then lifted it to his face, sucking a shiny clean toe into his mouth and delighting in the full body shiver that produced.

She cranked her eyes open, barely, with effort, to stare at him lustfully. "Why Mr. Malone, you're giving me all kinds of very dirty ideas," she drawled, and he laughed.

"Well, we are married now, so it's okay to have dirty ideas," he told her.

"What, and it wasn't okay before?" She glared at him, not entirely proud of the reminder that she'd taken him into her bed the first night they'd met. In her defense, she'd thought that was all of him she'd ever have. Now she thought she must have been an idiot to have thought she could let him go after that. Or ever.

He laughed at the uncharacteristic blush on her face. "It was certainly okay with me."

"I'll have you know that I've never done anything like that in my life." He knew he had to get that glare off her face quick and replace it with something more conducive to the mood he was trying to inspire, so he dropped her foot and reached for her, hauling her over the length of his body quickly and effortlessly while she gasped in surprise.

"I know, and I'm very glad," he told her once she was positioned very satisfactorily atop his chest, her hips loosely straddling his as their legs tangled beneath the water. And Kate was very quick to respond, lifting her hands to his shoulders and bringing her mouth to his for a long mesmerizing kiss. The sensation of his rough hands running the length of her back, over her rear and down to her thighs and back up again sufficiently obliterated that thought and any other from all corners of her mind. She sunk down onto him slowly, taking for granted that he'd be ready for her, which really wasn't that much of a long bet. He was always ready for her.

She moved painfully slowly atop him, smiling seductively and gently refusing to let him speed up the pace. She was enjoying this immensely, still amazed that this man could turn her on beyond belief with nothing more than a foot rub. She lowered her body to his in the water, loving the full-body contact, belly to belly, her chest rubbing his. She moved her mouth to his neck as they moved together, licking and biting until he lost control and took her hips in his hands and took over with his own driving rhythm. It only took a handful of those deep, delicious thrusts to hurtle her over the edge, and him as well, and even in her bliss she pouted at him for ending it too fast. "You men. No patience," she panted, and he grinned. "Not when you're torturing me like that," he answered, his breathing still erratic.

He stroked her back as they returned to earth slowly, and Kate felt like she could stay here forever, on his strong chest. "What are we going to do today, Mr. Malone?" she purred, and he thought it was a wonder that he had any brain cells left when she talked to him in that incredibly sexy voice.

"We really need to get going," he told her. "It's four hours to Niagara." He smiled when her eyes lit up like a child's. She had hoped they weren't going too far, because they only had a week, and she certainly didn't feel like spending it in transit. She'd never been there; it was perfect. And a very romantic gesture for her self-professed unromantic man. She had always disagreed with his assessment; he could be very romantic. "I thought we'd take the bike," he told her, and her smile deepened. Very romantic, indeed.

She let him drive, and it was a lovely meandering ride through beautiful New York, to Niagara Falls, where he'd rented a private cabin on Lake Eerie. It was a whole new world for her, compared to Texas or even their new home on Staten Island, so close to the city. The air was different here, fresh and clean, and even though there were other cabins and lodgings nearby, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. They stayed close to the cabin that night, enjoying the quiet and the solitude. It was something that they had little of, and Jack enjoyed it much more with her, knowing that the noise and chaos would be returning soon, than he had when it had stretched unbroken before him each night.

In the morning they got on the bike and spent the day exploring, visiting the falls and admiring its wild beauty, standing close enough to touch and feel the spray of the awesome display of nature's glory. They took a ride on the Maid of the Mist to the base of American Falls and Horseshoe Falls, and Jack thought that he enjoyed Kate's reaction more than anything. He had a fierce, unfamiliar need to make this woman happy, and being by her side was all he really needed to call himself happy, he noted. It was strange that he hadn't reached for his phone all day, and was amazed to realize that he really was changing, or maybe she was changing him. That edgy feeling in his stomach that there was someplace that he needed to be, that there was something that he needed to do, was gone, and it was such a relief that he didn't really know what to do with himself. He simply relaxed and let himself be in this moment, together, with his wife, like he had never been able to do before. It was a revelation.

They had dinner at the Top of the Falls, with spectacular views of the falls, and wonderful food, and then headed back to the cabin. They sat out on the porch, Kate's wine in hand, enjoying the lake sounds and the peace together.

The week passed for them quickly, with hikes and tours during the day, along with long, lazy picnics and afternoons spent just lying on a beach that were unheard of for both of them. Phones were forgotten, voicemail was ignored, and they didn't really want to get back into the stress of it all, though they were anxious to get back to their kids. They ate a simple dinner together in the cabin on their last day of vacation, and sat looking around the small space lovingly. Kate thought they had probably made love on every available surface, without interruptions or distractions. Just the two of them, together, away from everything else, their jobs, their families, their lives, and it had been utter bliss. Not only had they not tired of each other, Kate thought that she just might be able to spend the rest of her life just like this, with just this one man, and no one else, and be perfectly happy. That had never happened to her before. Most people, even ones she liked, drove her stir-crazy within twenty-four hours. Not this man.

He smiled, as if reading her mind. He had pretty much done what he'd set out to do; dazzle his wife with a romantic honeymoon and spend the majority of it just the two of them, together, no one else. And she dazzled him right back. There was no one else he'd rather spend time with, and this week had proved that they'd never get tired of each other. Even now, all he wanted was to take her to bed. "This was nice, wasn't it?"

She smiled. "It was perfect." Pushing back her chair, she went to him, sliding across his lap like she belonged there, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. Pulling back to his growl of disapproval, she smirked into his eyes. "I want you again, and I don't know how that can be."

He pulled her back for another deep, wet kiss. This was fantastic. He could do this whenever he wanted. He didn't ever want to not be able to do this, just like this, whenever he wanted, which, he thought disappointedly, may be just a little unrealistic. He ran his mouth down her throat, gentle and teasing now, which he knew drove her just as wild as rough and fast, more so sometimes. "That's because I'm irresistible," he growled into her skin, and she moaned her agreement, her head falling back as he made his way painstakingly across her throat to the other side, then down to the hollow at the base of her throat, and on to her clavicle. Kate managed to shake off her lust-filled stupor just enough to return the favor, teasing him speechless with her own wicked tongue, while managing to unfasten the buttons of the shirt that she really didn't know why he was even bothering to wear at this point. Finally freeing the last impediment, she opened his shirt, kissing and licking her way down his chest teasingly, making him groan as she drew it out as long as she could. Finally reaching his shorts, she took her time there as well, and he finally ended it by lifting her in his arms and carrying her up the ladder to the loft where they had spent many pleasurable hours.

Grinning wickedly as he tossed her onto the bed, he reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, fur-lined so he wouldn't hurt her, and was surprised when she pulled back upon seeing his intention. "No," she said, and he stopped immediately. "Why?" he asked, immediately concerned, and that made her pause. How could she not trust this man completely? His first reaction when she told him 'no' to anything, which, admittedly, was rare, was concern for her. It made her heart melt completely. There was no deep, dark reason; it was just something she had never done. She had never trusted anyone enough. Looking at him now, she knew she could.

And he was still looking with her with worry for her written all over his features. "No reason, really, just, I never…" He smiled and moved over her. "You'll like this. I promise. If you don't like it, I'll stop." She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You're not going to bring any whips and chains out of there, are you?" He laughed. "This is all I've got." He carefully secured her wrists to the bed and just looked at her, and then smiled, wickedly. "Now I have you exactly where I want you."

He had indeed turned the tables on her. She was usually the one to take her time and torment him slowly, bringing him to the edge and back over and over, and now it was his turn to do just that. It was a different kind of first for her. She had never known anyone to take such exquisite care with her solely for her pleasure, to worship her body so thoroughly and completely, and she lost count of how many times he made her sigh with pleasure, made her moan his name, brought her to the brink of ecstasy, and over, before doing it all over again. It seemed an eternity, a blissful eternity, before he finally entered her and took his own pleasure, and in the end she couldn't manage another thought beyond, yes, she did like this, very, very much.

Though it was hard to pack and leave in the morning, they were anxious to get back to their family. They had finally turned on their phones, and received updates on the life they could no longer ignore. Hanna had a new boyfriend, the boys reported dutifully, and Brent had broken his arm trying a new jump at the skate park. The adoption had gone through. Tommy would be their son in just a few more days. They headed for home, in a hurry to get back to real life. Kate drove.

TBC...


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: Not mine

Twenty Nine

Jack's first day back to work after his vacation was a long one. When he finally walked through the front door, the first thing he noticed was the weighty stare his three new sons gave him. "Hey, guys, how was your day?" he asked, summoning enthusiasm from Lord-knew-where as soon as soon as he saw them. He left all the remnants of his day at the door and focused on them.

Kevin cleared his throat. "It was fine," he said. "Listen, I think you should know…"

Brent shot him a warning look that Kevin shrugged off.

"Know what, son?" He did his best to be friendly, fatherly, and stay out of interrogation mode, not always the easiest thing for him to do, he knew.

Kevin looked him in the eye. "When we got home, Hanna had a guy here. Mom kind of lost it. Kicked him out, grounded Hanna. She wasn't happy." Jack heard a clatter from his daughter's room as Kevin cleared his throat again. "Still isn't, apparently. Mom, uh…went for a walk. Said she'd be back soon."

Jack closed his eyes, scrubbing his hand over his face. "Thank, Kevin. I'll talk to her."

His daughter's door was locked, and he knocked like he was raiding a crack house. She opened it quickly, her eyes huge in her face. He could see the guilt in them.

And then they filled with tears. "I'm so sorry, Daddy, I was mad at her, and I lost my temper. I'll apologize. If she comes home, I'll apologize. I didn't mean…" Jesus, she hadn't called him 'Daddy' in more years than he could remember. He steeled himself for something he already knew he wasn't going to enjoy hearing.

"What did you say to her, honey?" He kept his tone calm, even, shooting for understanding.

"I…uh…I sort of told her that she wasn't my mother." Okay, he thought, that wasn't too bad. Par for the course with a teenager. But wait, there was more. "And…uh…that she probably wouldn't be here too long anyway, because you'll always love Samantha, and you cheated on Mom with Samantha and would probably cheat on her too." She closed her eyes as if waiting for him to explode. In the past, he probably would have. And just made everything worse.

He saw red and made himself count to ten. Then to twenty. Then to fifty. And by then realized that this was really his own fault. He looked at his daughter, biting her lip nervously. "Kate is my wife, and she's your stepmother. You will treat her with respect. Not liking her rules doesn't make it right to hurt her. I'm going to go out and find her, and when I get back, we will discuss exactly what it was that you did to deserve to be grounded. Knowing you as I do, I'm sure Kate wasn't making it up. You owe her an apology, and you'd better be ready with that apology when we get back." He managed to leave her room without slamming the door, and was unreasonably proud of himself.

Back in the living room, three solemn pairs of eyes followed him as he stalked into the kitchen, poured himself a glass of water, and drank it. Finally, he looked at them. "I'll go talk to your mom," he said, hoping he said it with more enthusiasm than he felt right now.

"Try the park down the street," Rusty offered. "It's her favorite thinking spot."

Jack smiled at him and ruffled his hair. "Thanks, big guy. I will. Hey, you guys had anything to eat?"

"Mom was about to cook dinner when Hurricane Hanna struck." Jack laughed. He'd have to remember that one. It was apt.

He took a credit card out of his wallet and handed it to Kevin. "Here. Order pizza. Three. Extra large. Number's on the fridge. You're responsible for that card, sir, don't let it out of your sight." He pointed at Kevin and he laughed with a mock salute. "You got it. What should I order?"

Jack shrugged. "Whatever you want. Make sure one of them is your mom's favorite, and make sure there isn't anything Hanna likes." The boys giggled, and Jack smiled as he shut the door behind him. Kate was right. Boys were easy.

They were also right on target. Jack found her at the park, staring out over the river, an island of stillness amidst the rushing sea of people bustling all around her. In jeans, a thin T-shirt and a hot pink bandana over her head, she looked about seventeen. He had no idea what to say. He wasn't proud of the way he had handled things so many years ago, but was kind of ready for the story to die a quick death. Anger at Hanna still simmered, but he could understand why she'd done it probably better than she did. He stood just looking at Kate for what seemed like forever, until finally she must have felt the weight of his stare, because she turned with a small smile.

"Hi." She didn't look angry, he noted with surprise, and she hadn't been crying. She looked a little sad, maybe, and rueful. "You found me."

"Yeah, it's a gift."

She searched his face. "You didn't have to come all the way over here, you know. I just needed some time. I was coming home."

"I know. I…I guess we should talk about it."

She shook her head. "Yeah, I know I probably overstepped some boundaries tonight, but I just kind of flew into overprotective mom mode and there was no going back. You and I should probably sit down with her and talk about it, but I'll tell you, the 'no sex in the house' rule is a pretty firm one for me. I can't see you changing my mind. I know that's not my decision to make, but…" She broke off to look at him, and found him staring at her with a baffled look on his face.

"She didn't tell you?"

He shook his head. "I got an earful, but there wasn't any sex involved." Not on Hanna's part, at least.

"Oh. Okay, well, I came home and found her going at it in her room with a guy. The new boyfriend, I presume. We weren't introduced. Anyway, they'd rounded third base and were headed for home plate when I walked in. I kicked the kid out, and grounded Hanna for the foreseeable future. We had words. I know that probably wasn't my place, but I didn't have a choice. I'm not going to condone a sixteen-year-old having sex in my house."

When he was finally capable of words, he clenched his jaw. "First of all, it is your place. I would've done the same, probably with a lot of shouting and swearing. Hopefully no guns drawn, but who knows. Second of all, I'm going to kill her."

"She's a kid. She made a mistake. She was angry and embarrassed, so she tried to hurt me back. She's a kid, Jack. I get it."

"She told me what she said. We need to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about. What you did before you met me is none of my business. I know exactly why she told me; I'm not going to hold it against her."

Most women would, but he refrained from pointing that out. He already knew that she wasn't most women. "I didn't tell you. I didn't think…" He looked away, cursed, looked back at her. "I'm not proud of what I did. I made a lot of mistakes. I told you that from the beginning."

"I know you did. I'm not…it's not even about that, for me. I know you, and I know the value you place on honestly. I know that couldn't have been easy for you. Look, this is my problem, Jack, not yours, and I have to deal with it."

He looked confused. "What do you mean?"

She made a face. "I don't want to talk about it. I'll deal with it. I told myself I would be okay with it, and I will be. I just need some time."

"Okay with what?"

"It doesn't matter."

He stepped closer, until they were toe to toe, and looked into her eyes. "Okay with what?" he asked again, suddenly knowing what he was going to hear and hoping he was wrong.

She sighed, then smiled at him, a little sadly. "Okay with being your second choice."

Her words hit him like a punch in the gut, and then he thought, hell, everyone else thought that; why wouldn't she?

He looked at her as his mouth worked, and nothing came out. Finally, he found his tongue. "You're not my second choice, and I'm getting a little tired of explaining that." When she looked at him funny, he just shook his head, until finally she smiled.

"Your team?"

"You all think you know me so well. You, of all people, should know me better than that. In the past, maybe. That part of my life is over now. Samantha and I—we had to try, I guess, to see if it would work out, and it didn't. End of story. If you weren't here, I would be alone. We'll always be friends, I'll be Finn's favorite uncle, but that's it. I'm doing exactly what I want to do. Life is short. I want to be happy while I'm here. You taught me that." He smiled at her so gently that she just shook her head and then laid it on his chest.

"You don't have to argue your case. I told you, the problem is me, not you. I just…maybe if Samantha was single before we got married, and you still married me, maybe then I would know for sure. But that shouldn't matter, I know it, and like I said, this is my problem, not yours. I totally trust you. You've never done anything—"

He cut her off abruptly, without thinking. "Then there isn't a problem for either of us. Samantha knew it was over with Brian before we got married. Before you moved here. If I'd wanted her, I'd be with her now. There's no room for anyone else. You fill my heart." He looked at her and she looked at him.

"You never told me," she said.

"I know," he said. "It wasn't an issue for me. Until you, I was…I don't know. I'm so much better because of you."

She rolled her eyes. "That's bullshit, and you know it."

"It's not," he insisted, "I just don't know how to put it into words. I guess I'd say I like the me I am when I'm with you far more than the me I am without you."

She smiled finally. "That, I'll take. Take me home?"

Jack put an arm around her as they walked. Kate looped her arm around his waist, leaning against him like it was the most natural thing in the world.

At home, over pizza which Hanna refused to come out of her room to eat, they sat together with the boys, and talked, and joked, and laughed. It was starting to seem so normal, for all of them, and Kate knew that it would only get easier as time went on. They had a lot of work to do, but that was life. There was always a lot of work to do. Tomorrow she would talk to Hanna, and get things ready to bring Tommy home. Tonight, her world had just shifted on its axis, and she had to get used to the new view. She looked at her husband, already so in love with her boys and so much more confident and comfortable with himself as a father, as a _dad_, and had to smile.

TBC...


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: Not mine

Thirty

Kate was on her way home from dropping off resumes when her phone rang. Hanna had missed the bus and needed a ride home from summer school. She smiled. Great. They needed to talk anyway. They hadn't had a chance last night or this morning. She headed for the school, and when she got there, saw Hanna walk right past her car in the company of a big man in a dark trench coat. That struck her as odd. It was summer; even in New York, it was just too hot. Alarm overwhelmed her. She parked her car and ran after them. "Hey!"

"Hey!" she yelled again. "That's my daughter you've got there! What in the hell do you think you're doing?" They didn't slow until they reached a black SUV, and the man turned toward her, letting her see the gun under his coat. That, she thought lamely, was a big gun. "I don't want to have to hurt you, lady. I'm just here for the girl. Get out of here."

Kate didn't stop. She made herself bigger, and kept coming. "Why her?"

He smiled darkly. "She's just insurance. If she behaves herself, and her daddy does what he's told, she'll be home for supper. Someday." His evil smirk gave her chills. She didn't hesitate as she stepped closer, only one objective in her head now.

Kate stepped closer still. "You'll have to shoot me if you want to take her. I'll fight to the death for this girl. You'll have to shoot me in front of all these people." She grabbed Hanna, putting her behind her in a swift move. And realized she'd made him think. He was looking around, seeing the people who had noticed them and were starting to stop and stare. "Take me instead. I'll go with you willingly, no trouble. I'm his wife; I'll be just as good as insurance." She held up her hand with the glittering diamond. He looked uncertainly from her to Hanna, then back to Kate. Finally he nodded to the vehicle. "Get in."

Kate pressed her keys into Hanna's hand. "Go to the office. Don't stop until you get there. GO!" Hanna went.

Jack was with his team when his phone rang. They didn't have any open cases right now, and were at loose ends. He spoke in terse, clipped syllables that made the others stop talking and look at him. He closed his eyes, and they looked at each other. Not good. Finally, he hung up, scrubbed his hands over his face, and looked at them. "That was my daughter. She was grabbed at gun point from the parking lot at school. Kate was there." He rubbed his hand over his eyes and used it to bracket his mouth. "She traded herself for Hanna, gave Hanna her keys, told her to drive straight here. She's on her way." He set his hand down on the table, and it was clear that not putting his fist through it was a major effort. "She doesn't even have her license, damn it!"

Martin spoke up. "Kate did the best she could, Jack. She probably saved Hanna's life."

Jack glared at him. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't know it's Girard? You think I don't know he'll kill her when I don't give him what he wants, because I can't?"

It was Elena who spoke up. "Why not? Let him think you're playing ball, and we'll get out there and find her."

His eyes were bleak. "I wouldn't even know where to look."

"I would," Danny said. "We have a laundry list of his properties and his flunkies. Martin and I will take his flunkies."

"Elena and I will take the properties," Samantha put in.

"Jack, you stay here and wait for Hanna. I'll run the show," Vivian told him, earning a grateful facsimile of a smile. She looked at the others. "What are you waiting for? Get out there and find her."

Kate had no idea where she was. She'd been driven to a warehouse in a block full of warehouses, and she knew the fact that they hadn't covered her eyes was bad. They weren't expecting to keep her alive. They didn't care that she could identify them, that she knew where the place was. It wasn't going to matter.

She was tied to a chair when the man she assumed was the boss walked into the room, followed by about ten huge guys with really big guns. He was wearing what was probably a very expensive suit, and was tall, dark and handsome in a patrician sort of way, with dark hair that was graying neatly at the temples, and deep blue eyes. Oh, fuck, she thought to herself, there was no way she could miss who he was, even though she'd only been in the city a couple of weeks. He was one of the most notorious businessmen in New York. He had millions in legitimate businesses, and, the government suspected, many times more in illegal businesses. And he had an upcoming trial, in which Jack and his team would testify that he had had an informant killed. Thus, the reason for this little visit. She shivered involuntarily. If she'd been one minute later, it would have been Hanna Malone tied in this chair, and she would have regretted that for the rest of her life.

She smiled grimly. If only they knew that she was ready to die, had been for a while. If it came this way and it saved Jack's daughter, then so be it. She closed her eyes and prayed that whatever His will, He would give her the strength to carry it out.

Phillip Girard walked over to her slowly, studied her a moment, and then turned to her captor with rage in his eyes. "This is not his daughter, you imbecile," he said in a deadly quiet voice.

"She was right there when I grabbed the girl, said I'd have to shoot her right there, said to take her and she wouldn't make a fuss, said she was his wife."

Girard turned to the man. "He isn't married, you fucking idiot."

He turned back to her, and without a word, backhanded her across the face. Kate felt his heavy ring gouge her cheekbone, but refused to cry out. She felt the blood drip down her face.

"Last week," she finally bit out. "We got married last week."

"Will he give up my trial for you?" he asked her quietly, so softly she almost didn't hear his words.

She wanted to tell him to fuck off, but knew if she did he'd probably put a bullet in her head right now. "He will. He'd do anything for me. Call him, offer him a trade, he'll do exactly what you want." She sure as hell didn't want him to think that he needed to send someone else after Hanna—someone who wouldn't come back without her.

He nodded as if satisfied. "You'd better hope he does, or you're dead."

She tried to smile as if unconcerned. "He will." She thought of something. "He'll want proof of life."

Girard nodded. He really was nice to look at. Too bad he was a sociopath, she mused.

"I imagine he will." He hauled off and backhanded her again, and this time it was hard enough to tip the chair. It wobbled, then fell, taking her with it. Her head smashed onto the cement floor, feeling like her skull had been cracked open. With her luck, it probably had been. She felt the blood pool beneath her ear, and she knew her lip was split, and one eye was starting to swell. Jesus, he'd only hit her twice. Was there some kind of special correspondence course for criminals, where they learned to inflict maximum damage with minimum effort? There was a flash, and the light hurt her eyes. What the hell? Oh, yeah, proof of life. Great idea, that. Although it would probably have the reverse effect, because when Jack saw the condition she was in, he was going to tear Phillip Girard apart with his bare hands. Oh, God, _Jack_. She let her eyes close, seeing him. This was going to kill him.

Jack sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Hanna sat across from him, looking miserable and terrified, despite his reassurance that she had done exactly the right thing. She had driven through town and gotten here safely, and he was beyond grateful for that. She was heartsick over Kate, and she had recounted the conversation word for word, still beyond shocked at what Kate had done for her. At one point, Hanna, his tough-talking, all-black-wearing daughter, had burst into tears. "I was so awful to her, and she…she made him take her instead."

Jack was trying to be patient here. "That's what parents do, sweetheart. None of this is your fault. We'll find her. We'll get her back." _We have to._

Vivian poked her head into his office. "We have something."

In the tech room, Frank looked up as he walked in. "Jack, you need to see this. Just came in."

It was a picture of Kate, the date and time stamp glowing orange in the corner. It took all the control he had to look at the picture, forcing himself to stay detached and study its contents, study the evidence and listen to what it told him.

He wanted to throw up. She had been tied to a chair and beaten. Her face was a bloody mess. The chair lay on its side, and had probably been kicked over, with her in it, because she lay in a pool of blood, and her eyes were open but oddly blank, like she'd been almost knocked unconscious. Her lip was split and swollen, one eye was almost swollen shut, and a long gash had been opened on one of her perfect cheekbones.

He must have swayed, or something, because Vivian reached up and held him steady. "She's alive," she said quietly. "That's all that matters for now." He wanted to cry, seeing her like this, because of him, but he didn't have the luxury right now. He wanted to put his fist through that computer screen, and, yeah, Girard's smug face. He made himself shut it off, shut it down, put it in a box, lock it away.

And still he looked at the picture. He pointed to the corner of the screen. "What's that?"

Frank frowned and zoomed in. It was the reflection in a window of a sign. Letters.

"I need to know what that sign says," Jack told him.

"You got it."

TBC…


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: Not mine

Thirty One

Martin kicked in the door, and Samantha took point. "FBI!" she shouted. The men inside froze, and then began scrambling for their guns. "Freeze! Drop your weapons!" One of the men fired, and Jack took him down with one shot. Another fired, and Samantha dropped him. By now, Vivian and Danny were in, and the remaining three men dropped their weapons.

Jack turned to one of them. "Where is she?" He just shrugged, and Jack threw him up against the wall. "Where is she, you son of a bitch?"

Danny and Martin began moving from room to room, looking for the room from the photograph where she had been held as officers took the men away. "Jack, you need to see this," called Danny, and Jack turned over the uncommunicative suspect, still smirking, while barely refraining from knocking the shit out of him.

On the floor of a huge empty room was a blood-stained wooden chair. There was rope on the floor, still coiled and tied together like she'd struggled out of it. The chair was missing a leg. A small sound made them look up together, guns drawn, and Kate stepped out of the shadows, a chair leg grasped loosely in one hand like a baseball bat. The other arm hung limp at her side. "Thanks for coming, guys," she said jauntily from the left side of her mouth. The right was split and swollen.

Relief punched Jack hard, and he almost collapsed from it. Instead he went to her, pulling her against his chest. Kate dropped the chair leg and put her arm around him, closing her eyes for a moment. She had had no doubt they would find her; it was just a question of how long. Finally, she tried to pull back, but Jack was still holding on like he'd never let her go. "Where's Hanna? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. I made her stay at the office. She wasn't happy about it."

"Good. Hey. Listen, I think I dislocated my shoulder getting out of that rope. Could you pop it back into place for me?"

"Hell, no. Let the paramedics do it. They're on the way." He couldn't imagine hurting her like that. Just looking at her face made him want to lie down and bawl like a baby.

"Just do it, Jack. I don't want to cry in front of all those hunky EMTs." That made him laugh.

"But you don't mind crying in front of me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously not."

Martin and Danny flanked her by now. "You want us to leave?" Danny asked.

She huffed out a laugh. "You can stay if you want. You're family." She looked at Jack. "Ready?"

He wasn't. He moved close to her, placing her hands on his shoulders, her head against his chest, and then took hold of her arm and her shoulder. He did it quick, with no warning, like pulling off a band-aid, although he knew the pain was so much more. She yelled, and then he pulled her back into his arms as she breathed hard, her body shaking. He met Danny's eyes, and Martin's, and then he closed his eyes for a long moment. This had been one of the longest days of his life. He heard Samantha come in, and met her eyes over Kate's head. Then Kate pulled back. "Let go," she told him. "I'm bleeding all over your shirt."

"I don't care."

"I do. I'm the one doing your laundry." That earned her a laugh from the guys.

Jack heard the sirens, and knew it was time to go. He looked into her face, and his mouth twisted. "There are no words to say how I feel about what you did for me today," he said very quietly.

Kate raised her good hand to his face, love evident in her eyes even in her battered and bruised state. "Words aren't necessary," she told him just as softly. "I already know."

He nodded, and then looked up as the paramedics strode in with a stretcher.

"Oh, please, I don't need that," she protested, and was instantly overpowered with fatigue as they lifted her onto it anyway. Danny walked with her. "Tell me what happened," he was telling her, and she looked up at him, with a flash of memory. She reached for her pocket, which wasn't the easiest thing since she was lying on a gurney and a paramedic was taking her pulse at the time. She fished out her phone. "Here," she said. "I don't know if it even worked. I have an app for voice recording, but I don't know how much I got."

Danny had to laugh. "Honey, we really need you on our team." He looked up for Jack, but he was still on the other side of the room. He found the recording, hit play, and heard Phillip Girard's voice, clean and clear, asking Kate if her husband would give up his trial for her. He shook his head and slipped the phone in his pocket. "God bless the iPhone." He took the rest of her statement and turned to look for Martin. "Danny," she said, her voice suddenly strained as her energy began to flag dramatically. "His ring." She motioned to her face. "His ring will have my DNA." He nodded and grinned, grabbed Martin, and tore off in search of Girard.

Still in the back room, watching as Samantha and others took pictures and evidence, Jack shuffled his feet nervously, his hands deep in his pockets. She noticed him then, and looked up. "What are you still doing here? Go with her."

"I guess I'll go get Hanna, head over to the hospital," Jack said, his voice faltering. He really needed to be alone. He needed to cry. Or maybe punch something. He watched them wheel her out, unable to move, and he felt a hand on his shoulder. Damn Samantha. She knew him far too well.

"I'll bring Hanna. Go with her, Jack," she said again. Her eyes were gentle, as if she knew how hard this was for him. Probably, she did.

"I don't…I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do," he admitted hoarsely.

"Just be there, that's all you have to do," she said, her eyes on his were filled with compassion. They both knew that being there was the hardest thing for him to handle. "I'll go get Hanna, and bring her in."

"Okay. Okay, I…thanks."

In the back of the ambulance, Kate looked up in surprise as Jack climbed in after her, and then the door was slammed shut behind him. He looked unbelievably nervous, and she realized that he was out of his element here, once the bad guys were caught and the missing person found and rescued. He had no idea what to do.

She tried to smile at him, but knew it probably looked like an awkward grimace. Her face was beyond pain now, almost numb with it. The EMTs had started an IV drip, and had started her on painkillers. She was afraid they would take her away, to sleep and blissful unconsciousness, too soon. She wanted to be with Jack. He was here, for her, and she knew what a big step that was for him. She didn't want to leave him. But, damn, her head hurt so badly. They had already found the crack where her skull had hit the pavement, and bandaged it, but the pain had spread until she thought her head would explode.

She must have groaned, or shifted somehow, because Jack looked up at her sharply. "What is it?"

She shook her head infinitesimally, in deference to the splitting pain. "I just have this bitch of a headache."

The paramedic looked at her sharply now, and was rechecking her vitals when Jack saw her eyes roll back in her head. The machine started beeping frantically, and Jack saw the screen, saw when she flat lined, and knew why he shouldn't have come with her. He would remember this moment for the rest of his life: the moment she died, and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

Jack watched as the paramedic worked on her, yelling for his partner to drive faster, as he used the AED on her, as he tried to get her heart started again. He didn't know what else to do. He squeezed her hand, and he kept talking to her, and he prayed. And every time the medic yelled "clear," he dropped her hand and watched her body jolt again, and neither noticed or cared about the tears streaming down his face. And then the machine began to beep steadily, and when he looked at it, he saw the pattern of her heartbeat, and he closed his eyes again and prayed. It had been so long, it was so foreign to him. But the words came back, desperately from his heart.

TBC...


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: Not mine

Thirty Two

When they got to the hospital, the doctors had been notified and were standing by, rushing Kate into surgery right away. One of them told Jack there may be bleeding in the brain, and they wouldn't know the extent until they saw it. As her husband, he signed forms and filled out paper after paper, until he looked up and saw Samantha and Hanna. His daughter walked straight into his arms. He cried as he held her, because it would've been her in the ER, and he just couldn't bear it. Finally he got himself under control, embarrassed as hell, and wiped his face.

Samantha was the first to speak. "How is she?" She led Hanna and Jack to a row of chairs, and made them sit. Jack looked at Hanna, then back at Samantha. "Her heart stopped in the ambulance. They think there's been injury to her brain, as hard as her head hit the pavement. She's in surgery now." He didn't have to say it; Samantha knew by his voice they were working to save her life. Something occurred to him, and he looked at her. "Before we left, someone took her statement, right?"

She looked at him strangely. "Of course. Danny took her statement. You were there. They went to pick him up."

"I just…" He looked away, shaking his head. "I wanted to make sure that bastard goes to jail this time. And stays there."

"He will, Jack."

"He'd better. I don't think I can keep from killing him if he walks."

Hanna looked at her father, seeing this side of him for the first time, and put her arms around him. "She's going to be all right," she said quietly. "She has to be."

Jack leaned against her shoulder, and finally sighed. "I need to go get the boys. They'll want to be here." Jack had been in contact with Kevin throughout the day, and they were waiting to hear from him again, he knew. They needed to be here in case... no. He wasn't going to think like that. He wasn't. He wasn't going to give up on her. She had to be okay. She had to. He needed her too much.

Samantha stood. "I'll go."

Jack looked at her. "Thank you for all you've done, but you should go home to Finn."

"I already called his babysitter and told her I'd be late, that I had an emergency. She didn't mind staying."

"Can't Brian go by and pick him up?"

Samantha looked away, and then back at him. "Brian moved out weeks ago, Jack."

It was his turn to look away. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It doesn't matter. Kate is my friend, Jack, and she needs me now. I'll get the boys, and bring food." None of them had eaten all day. They had been frantic to find Kate.

"Thank you." He didn't want to say it out loud, but he was afraid to leave. He was afraid she'd die before he got back.

As unlikely as it was, Kate and Samantha had become friends. It wasn't something he'd expected, but he was glad they'd at least made peace. Sam was the only person besides Kate who knew everything about him and could still stand to be around him. He trusted all of his team implicitly; they were his family. But it was Sam he could count on; always had, and probably always would. He hadn't moved since she'd left, and was amazed when she walked back through the double doors as if it had been five minutes. Kevin carried three enormous bags of burgers, and Brent's arm was looped around Rusty's shoulders.

Jack stood, and they ran to hug him, and Hanna. Jack hadn't spared them the truth; they were old enough to know. He had told them about the kidnapping attempt, and how Kate had traded herself for Hanna. Hanna sobbed and apologized, and Kevin hugged her. "She's a mom," he told her quietly. "That's what moms do." Jack had told them about her injuries, so they'd be prepared, her face and her head and her dislocated shoulder. The only thing he held back was the fact that she'd died in the ambulance. The only way they'd ever hear that from him was if she made a full recovery, so they could marvel about how amazing she was. It wasn't something he wanted to remember.

They practically took over the waiting room in the ER, and sat eating burgers and telling stories about Kate. The boys had plenty great ones to share. Martin and Vivian arrived, and Danny and Elena. They had found Girard, and with the evidence they had against him, including the voice recording and his ring, he was behind bars. The DA was asking he be held without bail, because of the nature of his crime, and because he was a flight risk, with his money and connections, and felt confident he'd get it. Jack slumped back in his seat when they told them, and hugged them all again. He couldn't believe she'd had the presence of mind to hit record on her iPhone, and then wondered why not. Kate had surprised him from the first day he'd met her, and still did, every day.

Jack told them to go home; he'd call them if there was any news, but they refused to leave. They didn't have any open cases, so it was their choice. Jack just shook his head, thinking about it. He hadn't even known she had that serious of a head injury. She was walking and talking fine when they'd arrived. Hell, she'd freed herself. It hadn't occurred to him to be worried about a head injury.

They sat up drinking coffee until 2 a.m., when a doctor came out and told them that Kate was out of surgery. They had stopped the bleeding and repaired the damage, and now they had to wait and see if she woke up. They were cautiously optimistic, but warned Jack that they couldn't predict how her brain would react to the trauma. "Can we see her?" Jack asked, and didn't recognize his own voice. He was amazed he could find it at all. The doctor nodded with a weary smile. "Why not?"

Jack had stood up when the doctor first walked out, and he turned now, back to the kids, and the boys and even Hanna rushed him for a group hug. He held them tightly in his arms, his eyes shut tight, while his team watched and laughed. Their fearless leader had finally become comfortable in his own skin.

"Hold on just a second," he said to the kids, "and we'll go see her."

He walked over to where Danny and Elena, Samantha, Vivian and Martin sat, and he hugged and thanked each one of them. "Go home," he told them. "Come in late tomorrow—today. Get some sleep first. Better yet, unless we get a case, take the day off."

"What about you?" Elena wanted to know, and he just smiled.

"I'm definitely taking the day off."

Then he turned back to the kids, and with two on each side of him, walked down the hall to the nurse's station to ask about Kate. She told him the floor and the room number, and he smiled and thanked her. Everything Kate had ever been, done and said seemed etched on his soul now. He remembered how she always said that life was in the details, like simple courtesies, and he knew that he was so much better of a person for knowing her. And these kids…they were amazing. He'd always wanted a big family, and it seemed now he had it. They were great kids, and taught him something every day. He and Hanna had felt so guilty about it being their fault, and Kevin, Brent and Rusty didn't blame them in the least. And they'd never faltered, never broke down, never doubted that their mom would come home. He was humbled by their faith.

He held open the door for the kids, and they filed in, looking relieved but somber. Kate lay in the bed, her eyes closed, her face bruised and her cuts neatly bandaged. Jack knew she had had to have quite a few stitches, and was thankful the kids couldn't see them now. Her arm was in a sling, and her head was heavily bandaged.

Rusty approached her first, and Jack stepped behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. He thought that the comfort was probably more for himself than the boy, and was surprised when Rusty glanced up at him with tears in his eyes. "What do I do?" he asked in a whisper. Jack knelt and put his arm around him, so that they were watching her side by side.

"Just talk to her, like you normally would." Shit, how the hell should he know? He had experience being unconscious, but not caring for someone who was. He realized for the first time in his life how hard it was being on the other end.

Rusty looked at him again. "Can I touch her?"

"Sure, buddy, just be gentle. I bet she's really sore." And that was the understatement of the year. It was no wonder he had never stuck around for this part. It was damn hard work.

And not without its rewards. Rusty laid his palm carefully against his mother's cheek, so softly, almost reverently, that it brought tears to Jack's own eyes. Then he leaned over, and it seemed he was trying to decide where to kiss her, then decided to go for her lips, and he very gently placed a kiss on her mouth. "Love you, Mom," he told her. "I'm right here waiting for you."

Jack knew there was no way he could compete with that, so he didn't even try.

The kids gathered around her bed, two on each side, and he stood watching them with so much pride and so much love that it hurt. There was a knock on the open door and a tall man in a white coat walked in. Jack crossed to the doorway, wanting to have this conversation without the kids hearing it, just in case the news wasn't good.

"You must be Malone," the doctor said. His eyes were weary, but kind. "I'm Dr. Mike Gregory. I did the surgery on your wife. It could have easily gone the other way, let me tell you." He shook Jack's hand. "I've heard of you. You've been in this hospital a few times." Jack acknowledged the intonation on the word _few_, and smiled halfheartedly.

"Please don't hold that against my wife."

The doctor smiled. "We've all heard about what she did today, as well as some of her earlier adventures. We wanted to have a part in making things right. I also talked to her oncologist. Apparently she's something of a legend in Texas, as well." He put a hand on Jack's shoulder. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you're a lucky man to have a woman like that at your side."

Jack shook his head and looked away. "She's far more than I deserve, believe me."

Dr. Gregory nodded. "Normally, I'd say that the next twenty-four hours are crucial, and time will tell the extent of her recovery, but I think any woman who faces down crime lords and cancer won't have any trouble with a nasty little subdural hematoma."

"I had no idea. She was walking and talking." He could kick himself for that, among other things.

"It's what we call the lucid interval. Frequent with head injuries. No way you could have known." He looked at the kids clustered around her bedside, talking to her quietly and touching her softly and with so much love. "Normally, none of you would be here, but I'll let the nurses know, I think it would be for the benefit of the patient if we make an exception this time."

Jack shook the man's hand again. "There's no way I can thank you, doctor."

He shook his head with a smile. "Just doing my job, Agent Malone. I'm sure you know how that is."

Jack smiled. He did know.

TBC...


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: Just wanted to say thanks for reading, and thanks to those who take the time to review and let me know I'm on the right track, or not. ;) You're pretty much keeping me going at this point, and I appreciate it! I will keep this story going, but this is all I have for now, so if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, requests or inspiration, I'd love to hear it.

Thirty Three

Jack stretched and looked at the clock. It was nearly six a.m. The kids had long dozed off in various chairs, even though how they could sleep here was a mystery to him. As many times as he'd been here, he still hadn't figured out how to sleep through the light and the noise unless he was either comatose or extremely heavily medicated. Right now he felt like he'd been hit by a truck. He knew he hadn't slept more than a few minutes here and there, but that was okay. He wouldn't really relax until he knew Kate would be okay. He dragged himself out of his chair and walked over to her bed, forcing himself to look at her face. Amidst the bruises that were already changing colors, he still thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He reached out to touch her uninjured cheek carefully, softly, and his face was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, those brown eyes that she loved so much full of tears and so much love that she couldn't imagine how she had ever doubted it.

"Good morning," he whispered, as if it made perfect sense that she had opened her eyes the instant he'd touched her face.

She smiled at him, or attempted to, then grimaced from the pain. "It is now that I'm with you." She raised her good arm, reaching for him, skimming her fingers along his face and wiping his tears away. He hadn't even realized he'd been crying. He'd probably cried more since he'd been with Kate than he had in his entire life put together, and he wondered vaguely why that was. "God called," she told him quietly. "Seems I have a few more things to do here, plus, I don't think Heaven's quite ready for me yet. I might try to take the place over," she joked, and he smiled at her.

"You died in the ambulance."

"Really?" She didn't remember that, only the white light and the seemingly-very-real conversation with her Maker, which she would share with him in greater detail at a later time. Her face softened. "I'm so sorry I put you through that."

"It's okay," he whispered, his throat tight. "I was there when you came back, and I'm here now." He went to her, stretching out next to her on the narrow bed, taking her in his arms very carefully, tucking her head beneath his chin and close to his heart. The kids found them like that, sound asleep, when they woke an hour later.

Jack opened his eyes to find the kids clamoring around them, and pulled Rusty carefully up onto the bed to hug his mother. The older kids leaned over to hug her, and Kate laughed and pulled them all in, closing her eyes tightly. Only Hanna hung back, and after a minute Kate released the boys and looked at her, motioning her in and reaching for her hand. She looked her up and down, tears filling her eyes. "You're really okay," she said softly. "I was so worried. Girard was so angry it was me and not you. I was so afraid he'd send someone else to get you." She grinned suddenly. "Thank you for doing what I asked you, for once."

Next to her, Jack smiled, while Hanna's own eyes filled with tears. "I'm so, so sorry, Kate."

Kate just shook her head. "Nothing to be sorry for, kid. Not your fault."

"I know, it's just…I've been such a bitch to you, and I'm sorry for that."

Kate's eyebrows shot up. "Language," she reminded, and grinned when Hanna rolled her eyes. "You know, sweetie, it's never too late to change. We're still here to have that choice, and that's all that matters for now. You're still grounded, just so you know. And I still love you."

Hanna closed her eyes and put her arms around her stepmother. "I love you, too. I realized I never told you while you were in surgery."

Kate wrapped her good arm around her new daughter. "It's okay, honey. I know."

It took a great deal of persuasion to get Jack to take the kids home, but Kate finally succeeded. Right now, she needed sleep, and with agents at every door, this was the safest place for her to be. When she woke hours later, Kate and Maria were sitting by her bed.

"Hey," she said weakly.

Kate jumped up and hugged her, and Kate hugged her back. "Thank you, Kate," she whispered in her ear. "Thank you so much."

Kate smiled at her stepdaughter. "You're welcome, honey. I'm glad I was in the right place at the right time. "

Watching them, Maria smiled. Not many people would see it that way. She couldn't be certain she'd have done the same, had their positions been reversed. There were tears in her eyes when she stood and turned to Kate.

"I'm Maria," she said.

"I know. It's good to finally meet you." Her smile was genuine. "You have lovely daughters. I've enjoyed getting to know them."

"Thank you." She stood, just looking at Kate, searching for the right words and not finding them. Finally she said, "There are no words for what you did for my daughter."

Kate huffed out a breath and looked out the window. Then back at Jack's ex-wife. "She's Jack's little girl," she said simply. "I'd do anything to keep her safe. Words aren't necessary."

Maria nodded. "I know. I just needed to see you, needed you to know how grateful I am."

Kate smiled gently. "I know. But thank you for coming."

"You're so good for him," Maria said. "I'm glad he has you."

Kate smiled again and damn, that hurt. "He's good for me, too."

"I'm glad." She looked at her daughter. "She'd like to stay a few days, if that's all right."

"It's fine. Jack's coming back soon with the kids, and he can take her home with him."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to wait until they get here. I need to see Hanna."

Kate covered Maria's hand on the bed rail with hers. "I'm sure she needs to see you, too."

The woman snorted. "I doubt that. She and I aren't exactly getting along these days. She's not exactly the easiest person to live with."

Kate smiled ruefully. "I've noticed. Give her time. She's a good kid. She'll come around."

Impulsively, Maria leaned down and hugged her. "Thank you. For everything."

Kate hugged Jack's ex and smiled at the absurdity of life. "You're very welcome."

Of course, Jack walked in with the kids at that moment, and he wasn't even surprised. He guessed Kate had cured him. "Hi, Maria," he said from the doorway. "Are you the newest member of her fan club?"

She looked up at him with a watery smile. "It'd be hard not to be."

Jack crossed the room and leaned to kiss his wife. "I agree. Hi, baby. Get any rest?"

She smiled into his eyes. "A little. I'll be better as soon as I can be home, with you."

He smiled at her. "Me, too."

He stepped back as the kids hovered around her, and Hanna went to her mother and hugged her. Finally they seemed to move away to talk to Hanna and Kate and Maria, and Jack went back to his Katie. He picked up her hand and kissed it lingeringly, and her face lit with that smile that he loved to see, and loved even more knowing that he put it there. "She's in a good mood," he said conversationally. "What do you think the chances are of persuading her to take all these kids someplace so I can be alone with you?"

That got him a laugh. "Depends who's asking. I think I could ask for just about anything right now and get it."

"That's definitely true in my case," he told her, and her brows rose suggestively. "Mmmmmm... good to know." He saw the grimace of pain that action got her and guilt flooded him. "Baby, I am so, so sor-"

She cut him off with a hand over his mouth. "Don't even go there. This wasn't your fault, and I won't have you feeling guilty. I won't," she told him insistently, and he smiled, kissing her fingers that were still hovering at his mouth. "Yes, dear," he told her with a fond smile.

The adamant look on her face instantly turned adoring. "That's more like it." He couldn't say no to this woman, and she knew it. And the rest of the world simply ceased to exist when she was in the room. He leaned over and kissed her lips softly, moving on to her cheek, her jaw, her neck, lost in her.

When he was finally able to break free of her spell, he looked up to find Maria watching him like he was some strange insect inder a microscope. "Um... everyone's hungry, so I thought I'd take them down to the cafeteria and feed them. Do you want anything?"

Kate and Jack both shook their heads, smiling as the room emptied. She reached for him, and he climbed into bed beside her, gathering her into his arms very carefully, wanting nothing more right now than to simply be close to her. She relaxed onto his chest with a contented sigh, soaking in his scent and his warmth, needing nothing more right now than just this, feeling very safe and very loved inside his arms.

TBC...


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: I wasn't going to come back to this one for a while, since my muse has gone crazy on my new CSIM fic and doesn't want to do anything else, but here's just a little bit of fluff to tide you over. Just for you, ninthwardgurl05, because I know you're reading and because you're keeping me going with all of your nice comments. :) A little M-ish, nothing major. The setting _is _the hospital, after all. BTW, I'm winging it on the medical details, so if it sounds fishy, just go with it, please.

Thirty Four

They had a nice nap together before Maria returned with the kids, and all of them spent an interesting afternoon talking and sharing stories. Kate certainly had plenty funny ones of her own to share. Jack and Kevin left in the late afternoon to bring back dinner for all of them, and Kate took the opportunity to ask a favor of her newest admirer. She really couldn't have said why she did it; maybe it was the little part of her that just had to test everything, just to see how far she could go. Whatever the reason, she found herself politely asking her husband's ex-wife if she would mind spending the night in their house with the children so that Jack could stay with her tonight in the hospital.

When the woman looked at her with a horrified expression, she just shrugged. "Why not? You can stay in the guest room. That way you don't have to pay for a room and you'll get to spend a little more time with the girls. Were you planning on flying home tonight?"

Maria shook her head. "I don't… I hadn't really gotten that far."

"I really don't want to be here alone tonight," Kate said quietly, "and they won't let me go home until tomorrow." She wasn't really expecting that to phase this woman, but she'd thought it was only sporting to lead with the truth before she took out the big guns.

When Maria wasn't moved, Kate just shrugged. "Okay, no problem. I'll just ask Samantha to stay with them. I'm sure she won't have a problem with it." Because she so enjoyed having the excuse to put her psych degree to good use. She thought ex-wives qualified. And she had to about chew through her own lip to keep herself from laughing out loud at the disgusted curl of the other woman's lip before the words practically pushed each other out of her mouth. "Fine. I'll do it."

Kate smiled at her ever-so-sweetly. "Thank you."

Kate thoroughly enjoyed the stupefied expression on her husband's face when his ex announced to the delighted cheers of the kids that she was taking them home so that Jack could spend the night in the hospital with Kate. When hugs and kissed had been dispensed all around and they were alone together, Jack turned to his wife suspiciously. "What did you drug her with and if it's illegal I don't want to know."

Kate shrugged innocently. "What? You don't think I could have just asked her nicely to do something nice for us and she would have readily agreed out of the goodness of her heart?"

His wagged his finger at her. "I wasn't fooled by that look, let me tell you. I know that look all too well. You almost had me until you got to the part with 'nice' and 'heart.' Those are two words I would not associate with that woman, under any circumstances."

Kate laughed. "You're right. She didn't cave until I told her I'd be asking Samantha next."

That got a laugh. "I can't believe you did that. Actually, I can. You do have a hell of a death wish, don't you?"

"Not a death wish. I just don't have the fear that most people have." Which was just a little too close to the truth for his liking.

"Fear is a good thing," he told her, as he closed the door and climbed carefully into bed with her. "It's the fear that keeps us from doing stupid things that can get us killed."

She just looked at him. "I'm afraid I'm missing your point. I just got your ex-wife to take all of our children home so that I could have you in my bed all night. Why are you not worshipping at my feet right now?"

"Because she's in our house," he all but whined. "I don't trust her. She'll snoop until she finds something she can use against us later."

Kate just laughed. "She can just bring it. I'm not afraid of her." She looked at him. "Why do you still have clothes on?"

"Because it's the hospital?"

And his wife was no longer listening to him. She had turned into him, kissing his neck in that way she had that she knew damn well drove him crazy. He sighed and she pressed her advantage by pushing her hips into his. He moaned, loudly, and she kissed him, her hands in his hair, her tongue having its way in his mouth. "Did you lock the door?" she breathed into his skin, and he sighed. "Um…. No."

"Why not?" she wanted to know.

"Because it's the hospital?"

"There are no kids here, Jack. Hurry, go lock the door." He sighed as he got up quickly to lock the door. What was it about this woman that made him want to do whatever she asked?

She was bandaged, bruised, wearing a hospital gown, and she still somehow managed to be unbearably sexy. How in the hell did she do that? "I don't think this is a good idea," he tried again. "You died yesterday. It's not safe."

And she had already started kissing him again, working actively now to break down his resolve. "I'm alive now, and I want you." That made him groan, especially with the way her hands were roaming his body right now.

"And then your heart monitor's going to go crazy and some nurse is going to freak out and come in here to check on you."

She was busy licking her way up his chest following the path left by her hands as she pushed up his shirt steadily, inch by mouthwatering inch. "No heart monitor. No IV. I'm as good as new."

He looked up. "When did that happen?"

"While you were out. Now could you please shut up and get with the program before someone wants to come in here?"

He shut up and got with the program. He managed to wrangle her gown up just as she managed to get him out of his pants, and then he was moving over her very carefully so as not to jar her shoulder or her head or anything else important. Her eyes closed and her hands gripped him tightly as he sank into her, and she bit her lip to stave off her moan of pleasure. "It's not like it's going to take long; it's been three days," she panted, already close as he moved so slowly inside her, too slowly for her liking.

Three days? All this had happened in three days? It had felt like three years. He leaned up to kiss her, adjusting his angle just enough to make her gasp in pleasure. "You're such a romantic."

She laughed and whimpered her pleasure at the same time, resulting in a most interesting sound.

"I'm the pragmatic woman who can't wait until tomorrow to have you. Plus I could really use the endorphins right now."

"Katie?" he told her in that rough voice that did funny things to her body. "Shut up."

She met him thrust for thrust and obeyed. Clutching his arms tightly, she latched onto his neck to keep herself from screaming out his name as he sent her headlong into bliss, following her closely with a groan muffled by her shoulder. Struggling to breath, he lifted his head to look into her laughing eyes. "I told you it wouldn't take long. I was too hot for you."

"Same goes, Mrs. Malone, same goes." He rolled carefully to his side, folding her in his arms and resting her head on his shoulder, rubbing his neck absently. "I know you marked me this time," he grumbled.

She looked at him and giggled. "It's below your collar line. I've measured."

"I wore a T-shirt over here," he reminded her.

"Oh," she said unhelpfully. "Oops?" Her grin was unrepentant as she fixed her clothes and his. "Did you bring your iPod?"

"Actually, I did. Since you asked me to."

He handed it to her, and she found the song she wanted, pressed play, and settled into his warm embrace, sighing happily, both of them smiling at the appropriateness of the song as they drifted off to sleep together.

_You're a falling star, you're the getaway car, you're the line in the sand when I go too far. _

_You're the swimming pool on an August day, and you're the perfect thing to say. _

_And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute, and, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do._

_Baby, don't pretend, that you don't know it's true, cause you can see it when I look at you._

_And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times, it's you, it's you, you make me sing, _

_You're every line ,you're every word, you're everything. You're a carousel, you're a wishing well, _

_And you light me up, when you ring my bell. You're a mystery, you're from outer space._

_You're every minute of my every day. And I can't believe, that I'm your man_

_And I get to kiss you, baby, just because I can. Whatever comes our way, we'll see it through, _

_Cause you know that's what our love can do. And in this crazy life, and though these crazy times, _

_It's you, it's you, you make me sing, you're every line, you're every word, you're everything._

Just before she fell asleep, she whispered, "Don't forget we have to pick up Tommy tomorrow."

And now he was wide awake. His mind whirled with the details, too many details, but they'd keep. His life was a lot of things, he thought as he finally fell asleep, uncaring of anything but the woman in his arms, but boring wasn't one of them.

TBC…

'Everything,' Michael Buble


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Jack Malone is not mine, unfortunately. **

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait… work is way too busy and my ADD muse has moved on to play with new toys, but I'm black-mailing her into finishing this one before letting her work on any of the new ones! I'm thinking two chapters left, maybe. Thanks for reading. :) **

Thirty Five

When his wife had told him that she was free to go home the next day, Jack had stupidly assumed that this had been one of her doctor's ideas. He really should have known better. He should have known that the result she wanted had been achieved through bulldozing her way over whatever obstacles were in her way of what she wanted, including but not limited to a threat of walking out the door against medical advice. Now he was waiting with Mike Gregory for the scan of her brain that would decide whether his life was about to become impossible or merely arduous.

The doctor looked at him. "After talking with your wife in detail, I have a new respect for you, Malone," he said with a grin that made Jack cock a brow. "She's rather… pushy, I've noticed."

Jack laughed. That was the understatement of the year. "She doesn't hear the word 'no,' that's for sure," he said dryly.

"You know that if there's damage to the brain I won't be able to let her leave here, no matter what she says," he said quietly. "These types of injuries usually take weeks to heal, and that's the ones that do exceptionally well. We're talking life and death here, Jack."

Jack nodded grimly. "I'll handcuff her to the bed if I have to."

Gregory laughed. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

Two hours later, Jack was really wishing he had his handcuffs on him. Dr. Gregory had said that everything looked good, but he wanted to keep her one more day, at the very least, just to be sure, and his wife wasn't having it. Looking at her, he sighed. "Katie, please just do this, for me. I almost lost you. I don't want to take any chances. Our house is too far away from a hospital. If something happened, there wouldn't be anything we could do for you. If anything were to happen to you…" He trailed off, shaking his head. He was no good at this kind of thing. He would have preferred the handcuffs to this. And probably would have gotten further.

Kate just looked at him. He looked so worried and frustrated and she sighed to herself. Even if she did go home today, he would be going out of his mind with worry the entire time. She knew she couldn't do that to him. She took his hands in hers. "I'm sorry," she said finally. "If you're that worried, I'll stay here. It's just… we were supposed to bring Tommy home today. I didn't want to postpone it."

He was so relieved he could have laughed out loud. "I'll bring him home. I'll pick him up and bring him here to see you first, and then I'll take him home."

"You need to go back to work."

"I'm taking the rest of the week off."

Kate looked alarmed at that. "You just took a week off. You can't take another."

Jack snorted. "I can and I will. I haven't taken a vacation in years. They owe me. You need me now; they understand that." He kissed her, wishing he had the words to make her understand everything he was feeling right now. She came first. Her and their kids. She had to know that.

Her face softened. Maybe she did. "Okay. Thank you." She let herself slump heavily back into the pillows. "Go and get Tommy and the kids, and get your ex-wife the hell out of my house. I'll be good until you get back."

Jack grinned, just shaking his head. "Hey, you're the one who invited her. I would've made her get a hotel room."

He kissed her quickly and laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him. "Rest," he told her, and ducked the pillow she tossed at him with surprisingly good aim.

Jack found Tommy surprisingly playing with a small group of children on the playground, and left him to it while he signed the necessary documents and gathered the boy's few possessions. He thanked the nurses and doctors who had cared for him, and there was a tearful group waiting for one of their favorite kids when Tommy came back inside. They even had a cake. It was an impromptu going away party, and Tommy looked around in awe when he realized it was all for him.

"Never had a party for me before," he said thoughtfully, and Jack put his arm around his thin shoulders.

"This is just the first of many," he told him. "I'm sure Mrs. J. will want to have a party for you soon at the house." He knelt next to the boy. They had spoken of this before but he wasn't sure it had really sunk in. "You're going to come home with me today, Tommy, and live with me and Mrs. J. and our kids." He smiled again. "Although her name isn't Mrs. J. any more. She married me so now her name in Mrs. Malone. But you can call her Mrs. J. or Mrs. M., or even Mom, if you ever decide that you want to."

Tommy looked at him, his head cocked to the side. "Mrs. J. gonna be my new mom?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, Tommy, you're going to live with us and be our son. We love you very much and we won't ever hurt you. We won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

Tommy smiled at that. "Jack, you silly. Tommy know you never hurt him. You help him. You take care of him. Tommy don't forget that."

Jack smiled again. "I'm glad. Now let's have this party with your friends and eat your cake and then we can go see your new mom."

Tommy grinned happily, and everyone around him laughed. He looked around at them all, at the doctors and nurses and all of the people that had been a part of his life for so long. "I'm gonna have a new mom!" he told them, the excitement evident in his voice. "And a dad!" He looked at Jack to confirm, and he nodded gently. That toothy grin stretched even larger. "A good dad," he said quietly, his eyes warming as they stayed on Jack. "I always want a good dad."

Jack nodded. "And don't forget you're going to have three brothers and two sisters to take care of you."

Tommy's eyes got big. "Really? That many people take care of Tommy?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Lots of people love Tommy. Don't forget your Uncle Danny and your Uncle Martin, and your Aunt Elena, Aunt Samantha, and Aunt Vivian." He smiled again. "And a little baby cousin that you can take care of."

Tommy was happily stunned into silence for a moment, and everyone laughed. "Thas a lotta people, Jack. I like that. And I do a good job take care of my baby cousin."

Jack nodded at him, smiling again both at his reaction and at the fact that he had had his arm around the boy for probably a good ten minutes and he hadn't minded in the least. He was glad. The boy obviously trusted him, and that would make the transition that much easier. It struck him in that moment that if it wasn't for this boy he would never have met Kate Janoreski. Now Kate Malone. Maybe his wife was right, he thought, about everything happening for a reason, but he would be damned if he'd let her know it. She'd be impossible to live with.

He straightened, pulling Tommy with him to the table. "Hmmm. I wonder what kind of cake this could be." He looked at Tommy. "What kind to you think it is?"

Tommy smiled up at Jack. "Gotta be chocolate."

Jack fixed a comically shocked expression on his face. "How'd you know?"

Tommy just looked at him with a long-suffering expression that he knew had to be copied from either himself or his wife. "Because Mrs. J. know that is my favoritest cake in the world. Oops—my new mama."

Jack smiled. "You new mama knows a lot of things, doesn't she?"

"She does," Tommy agreed. "She the best."

Jack had to agree with that one.

It was later than expected when Jack returned to the hospital with the children, all of whom were very eager to see Kate. Tommy was worried but holding it together with help from his new brothers and sisters. Rusty was his new best friend and was never more than a foot from his side. Which was a good thing, since they would be sharing a room. In a breief stop at the house, he had sent the boys upstairs with Tommy's very few belongings to get settled in while he spoke briefly with Maria.

He found her in the kitchen, having just cleared off the breakfast dishes and loaded the dishwasher. She looked at him in bemusement, having just spent the night and the morning with his and Kate's children, and having seen firsthand just how much his life had evolved. How he had evolved. She had never seen him so happy, events of the past few days notwithstanding.

"Thanks for staying," he told her seriously. "I didn't want her to be alone last night."

"You're welcome, although I really need to get back today." Worried flashed across her features, and it made him smile. There was truly no one that his wife couldn't charm.

"How is she?" popped out of her mouth just as "She's doing fine," came out of his, and they both smiled. "I'm glad." She shook her head, and then looked at him warningly. ""Don't screw this up. She's a keeper, and she loves you."

Jack just grinned at the irony of this conversation. "I know, and I know. I think she'd kick my ass if I did screw up."

Maria squeezed his arm as she walked past him to say good-bye to the kids. "I'm glad."

As they all bounded into Kate's hospital room, she smiled widely, still tired and sore but feeling more happy than she thought anyone had the right to be. The girls came in first, hugging her tightly, but not too tightly, followed by Kevin and Brent who hugged her carefully and kissed her lovingly. She sought out her babies in the crowd, and felt a fierce rush of pride and love at the sight of her beautiful boy, her youngest with the biggest heart of anyone she'd ever met, with his arm around his new brother's shoulders, their heads together as Rusty whispered into Tommy's ear, no doubt words of reassurance that her little boy sensed were needed in that uncanny way that was his.

Both of their eyes lit up when they looked up and landed on her, and Kate felt her heart literally melt within her chest. "Hey, guys," she said with a warm smile, and held out her good arm to them. Without a moment's hesitation, they scrambled up onto the bed on either side of her, being theatrically careful nonetheless of her injuries as they hugged her. She pulled back to smile at both of them, pleased to see them already inseparable as she'd known they would be. "I missed you, mom!" Rusty exclaimed, and Tommy nodded immediately. "Me, too!" His head cocked to the side in thought, and Kate noted with approval that he looked much better even than the last time she'd seen him. He'd obviously been eating and now, with just a few hours with his new family, he fairly glowed with happiness. Her heart swelled at how relaxed and happy he looked. "I call you Mom or Mrs. J.? Or Mrs. Jack?"

Kate laughed at that. "You can call me whatever you want, sweetheart. I would love for you to call me Mom, but whenever you want to is fine."

He nodded decisively. "Okay, then I call you Mom, 'cause you're my new mom now. Right?" he asked, and grinned when she nodded. "For a long time, right?" he asked, and she hugged him close.

"Forever, Tommy, I'm your mom forever. And I'll love you forever."

He relaxed against her good shoulder, nodding happily. "Thas good." And then, after just a moment… "Mom."

TBC...


	36. Chapter 36

Epilogue

**A/N: Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing and alerting. This was my first fic and I never actually thought it would go this far, but you guys kept me going. This will be the end, but who knows, my muse may take them out again to play sometime down the road. This will be an M-ish chapter.**

Shouts and cheers resounded across the field as a goal was scored in the final seconds of the game and the crowd of family members on the bleachers exploded with approval. Kate laughed out loud at the grin on her newest son's face as his teammates surrounded him with high-fives and fist bumps, their excitement infectious and palpable in the air even up here in the stands. The older kids were laughing as well, jumping down and abandoning her to head to the field in search of their little brothers.

It was a gorgeous late summer day, still scorching hot but rendered bearable by a soothing breeze that managed to cool things off just enough. And it wasn't helping in the slightest as Kate's eyes fell on the form of her husband in motion, his T-shirt soaked through with sweat and his short hair spiked with it as he crossed the field, high-fiving the kids and shaking hands with parents even as his eyes were already searching her out. He found her easily through the crowd, perhaps picking up on her unusually volcanic heat signature, and her stomach flipped over unexpectedly as that slow-and-sexy grin she adored curved his edible mouth. He had volunteered to coach the team, partly because he loved the game and it was something he wanted to do with his boys, and partly because he didn't want Tommy to be stuck with a coach who didn't know him and wouldn't take his issues into consideration. Seeing him with the kids made her heart melt; he was just too adorable with them. He was a great teacher, though he would never admit it or acknowledge it. He was only now starting to believe her assertion that he was a great father. Even he couldn't argue with the incontrovertible proof that their children adored him unreservedly.

God, he looked gorgeous like this, she thought, still amazed that this man was all hers. She couldn't keep her eyes from tracing his body as his took the stairs two at a time and bounded up to where she was now the only one still sitting in the stands, as everyone else had evacuated while she was struck immobile by his approach. As he leaned in close for a quick kiss, she wrapped a hand around his neck to pull him closer and deepen the contact immediately. He chuckled low and all of her nerve endings were suddenly standing at attention. "Careful, babe, I'm all sweaty."

Kate pulled back just enough so that he could see the heat in her eyes. "Yes, and you know what that does to me," she all but purred, registering the surprise that crossed his face and quickly morphed into desire that matched her own. She could all but hear his thought process. _Well, okay, then._ Smiling wickedly, her molten gaze was momentarily distracted by a bead of sweat that raced down his face and dripped onto his neck. Without a thought, she extended her tongue and caught it, licking up from the base of his throat until she reached his ear. She felt him growl against her ear, and was suddenly out of patience.

And he was right there with her. He had no idea what had brought this on but he certainly wasn't complaining. Removing her mouth from his neck long enough to respond with a demanding kiss to let her know he was on board, he pulled back and grinned suddenly. "You think Sam would take the boys to the pizza place for us?"

Kate looked at him through eyes darkened with equal parts lust and appreciation for this man. She loved the way he was always right there with her, no matter what she wanted or how crazy it sounded. "I think we could persuade her," she panted, trying desperately to keep from ripping off his clothes in the middle of the soccer field. God, she wanted him, right here, right now.

And then the boys were running up to them, out of breath with excitement and begging to meet their friends for pizza, and Kate sighed, quickly becoming resigned to her fate, for the next few hours, at least. She met her husband's eyes and smiled. "It's okay; I can wait," she whispered into his ear. "But once we get home, you're _all mine_."

He grinned at her in total agreement, and then they were up and heading to the car, caught up in the excitement right along with their children.

Jack was just stepping out of the shower when she found him, having just gotten the youngest ones into bed. She leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, just watching him move and tracing his body heatedly with her eyes. God, just looking at this man made her hot. He dried off his legs and then his torso, wrapping the towel around his waist, and then he felt the weight of her stare on him and looked up to see his wife devouring him with her eyes. He crossed the distance between them in an instant, and she wasted no time reaching for him and pulling him close, crushing his mouth to hers without finesse. There'd be time for that later; right now she needed him too badly.

She let her hands wander lazily through his damp hair, still standing up in wet spikes much like it had been after the game, down over his shoulders to his broad back. Her mouth moved down his throat, licking up the beads of moisture there ravenously and exulting in the taste of his skin under her tongue. She bent to worship his chest as he began to move them slowly out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, having very little patience right now and knowing that if they didn't get to the bed soon he'd be taking her against the wall or over the vanity, and as enticing as that sounded in theory, he wanted to take his time with her tonight.

They reached the bed just as her mouth moved over his stomach, licking and nipping, and his towel was swiftly discarded as she pushed him down onto the bed and continued making her way down his body. She paused only long enough to pull off her robe and then she was kneeling before him, worshipping him with her mouth and hands, her hunger from earlier this evening now given free rein to run unchecked. He was panting and shaking, desperate for more even as some very dim corner of his brain registered that this was going to be over far faster than he'd wanted. He no longer had the self-control to stop her, and he groaned in agony when she drew up and over him, grinding her hips into his as she leaned up to kiss him hungrily, and he was lost for long minutes until the fog cleared, just for a moment.

It was long enough to get an errant thought across, though, and he took her by surprise when he pulled her forward even further from where she'd been straddling his chest, until she was poised over him and it was his turn to drive her wild, making her hands grip the headboard in a white-knuckled grip as he used his tongue to drive her out of her mind. It seemed like mere moments before she was arching above him and panting his name as she shattered, and then he was flipping her over and pressing her into the mattress, turning the tables on her in her moment of weakness and wasting no time driving into her and quickly taking her back to oblivion.

Kate knew very little at the moment, only that this man was overwhelming every one of her senses in the very best way possible. This was what she'd needed, what she'd craved all day, and she was amazed that after all this she still wanted more. She thought she would never get enough of this man. She pulled him close for a deep sensual kiss, quickly moving down to sink her teeth into his skin, which only served to encourage him deeper, and harder, and faster, none of which she was complaining about. At all.

And then he pulled back and pulled her legs up over his shoulders, making her gasp at both the new, deeper angle and the breathtakingly sexy possessive glint in his eyes. It was all she could do to just hang on for the ride, scraping her nails down his chest while he growled his approval. Without warning she was arching into him and screaming out his name, which he promptly cut off with a hand over her mouth, which she promptly sunk her teeth into. She felt the vibrations of his deep groan of satisfaction as she clenched her inner muscles around him and he erupted inside of her, collapsing on top of her with the very faint worry in the back of his mind that one of these days she was literally going to give him a heart attack. Right now the damn thing felt like it might beat right out of his chest.

Jack laughed into her neck as he tried to catch his breath. "So much for taking my time with you," he mumbled against her damp skin, and Kate laughed breathlessly with him.

"You thought we could take our time? I've been dying to have you inside me since the damn ball game." She looked at him mischievously and licked the sweat from his neck like she'd done earlier. As satisfied as he was right now, he couldn't suppress a shiver at the reactions that action provoked, just like it always did. It still amazed him how much he could want her, after all this time. And then she was pushing at his chest. "Now get the hell off of me. I'm hungry."

Jack laughed. "How could you be hungry after all you ate?"

But she was already slipping into her robe. "Come on, eat something with me. You need to keep up your strength for later. Jack groaned for effect, but in reality he was already on board with that plan.

ooo

As saddened as she'd been not to be starting the year with a new class when school began, Kate was glad for it now. It had been three months, and she was barely starting to feel like herself again. She still didn't have the amount of energy she was used to, and although her doctor said everything was back to normal and all her tests were looking good, she knew that it would have been too much to start back to work so soon after her body had suffered such a major trauma. Not to mention that Tommy was still getting adjusted to life in the Malone household, and she needed to be around during the days just in case he needed her. She'd already been called to the school a couple of times when he'd had a panic attack, and she was glad to be home to be on call for when he needed her.

They'd known he wouldn't have an easy time of it, and things were going surprisingly well, all things considered. It helped having Rusty as a roommate and a classmate. He was remarkably attuned to his new brother's needs and emotions, and often acted as interpreter in the times when Tommy got upset and his speech reverted to the unintelligible garble it had been in the past.

It was a Saturday and they were making the most of spending a day off with the family, as Jack and the team had just closed a difficult case that had kept the team late at the office all week. They were currently at the park, the boys practicing their soccer moves with Jack and Danny while Elena pushed Finn on a swing and Samantha and Kate sat talking on a nearby bench. Even deep in conversation with the woman she had become surprisingly close to, her eyes kept straying to him.

Her husband was looking damn good today, looking fit and carefree as he played with the kids, and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. He had surprised her yesterday by returning home early after they'd closed their case, and she had paid Kevin and Hanna good money to take the rest of the kids out to a movie so they could spend the afternoon and evening alone in bed together. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face as she remembered how much fun that had been.

Samantha noticed her friend's concentration was off today and elbowed her in the ribs. "Hello? Earth to Kate?" Kate blinked and looked away from her husband's body, with effort.

"I'm sorry; what?"

Samantha just laughed. She sure as hell couldn't blame her for that. She took in the look on the woman's face and had to laugh some more. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Mrs. Malone," she teased. "This is a family park."

Kate found herself blushing which just made Samantha laugh harder. "I thought he went home early yesterday for just that reason," she said with a grin. It was impossible not to like this woman. She had long ago given up even trying. The two of them were too good together to begrudge them what they'd found.

"I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I can't keep my hands off him these days." She looked up as Elena and Finn sat down next to them, each of them slurping an ice cream cone recently purchased from a nearby stand.

Kate's eyes lit up instantly. "Ooooh! Ice cream!"

Elena, having caught the tail end of the conversation, smirked and raised a brow. "Hmmm, sounds like someone's pregnant."

Kate froze, everything inside her going still. "That's impossible." Really, it just wasn't possible. Was it? She tried to think back, her now-racing heartbeat making it difficult. She'd been feeling tired, still, but she hadn't been sick at all. She had been eating like a horse lately. Jumping her husband every chance she got. But she'd had… no… no, she hadn't. Not since the hospital.

And… there it was. The hospital. She had missed quite a few pills due to that whole ordeal.

She looked at him still playing with their children, clearly enjoying himself. He was having a great time being a dad this time around, and he was doing a much better job separating his home and work lives. His nightmares were less frequent now, and he hadn't even attacked any suspicious-looking passers-by in the park today. He might not mind, she thought with dawning hope. And what about her? What did she feel?

And then a slow smile began to creep its way across her face. Who the hell was she kidding? She was having a helluva time being Mrs. Jack Malone. She loved her life now, with all the changes and adaptations it had brought. She had never been happier. To have this chance, now, this gift, with the most amazing man she knew? It was a miracle that she knew she would never be able to regret, even for a moment.

She looked over at her friends with a half-rueful grin, a little embarrassed that Elena had caught on before she had. Quickly doing the math in her head, she realized that the first trimester was nearly over, and didn't that explain a lot. "Yeah, okay, so it may be possible," she admitted drily, absorbing their smug smirks without complaint. She rolled her eyes at them as she got to her feet. "Excuse me, but I think I need to have a little chat with my husband."

They watched her walk over to where the guys were kicking the ball around, holding their collective breath as Kate motioned him over and leaned into him, her hands on his chest as she spoke to him intently, and then had to laugh as they watched him lift her into his arms and kiss her breathless. The boys stopped and stared, only to be brought into a group hug as their mom explained the latest change in their lives. They grinned at each other, only Tommy not reacting, just standing still, looking thoughtful, until finally he smiled and nodded. "That's great news, Mom. I thought you were just getting fat. But a baby will be a lot more fun."

Their laughter carried on the wind as Elena and Samantha looked at each other, grinned and grabbed Finn's hand to lead him to the soccer field to offer their congratulations. They'd take their good news where they found it, because life was too short not to.

Kate straightened to her full height and put her hands on her hips after bending to hug her newest son. "And speaking of getting fat, who's going to go get me some ice cream?"

The end… for now…

**A/N #2: So that's it. Thanks for reading, and my muse isn't ready to let go of Jack Malone just yet, FYI. There'll be a J/S coming soon, and then… who knows? :D**


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